Ex refuses to sign off the joint account

Dinah93

Would really appreciate any advice anyone can give me, as the bank have been utterly unhelpful. I split with my ex 2 months ago, my decision not his. It is only in the last couple of weeks it seems to have sunk in that he won't be able to get me back no matter what. He inherited a large sum of money (in the region of £40k) since the split, and even tried offering me half of it to pay off my debts 'if we were together'.

My main concern right now though is the joint account we opened together. It is an alliance & leicester account, and is £1000 overdrawn. I have spoken to them and they have said without both signitures neither name can be removed from the account. I have asked if they can freeze the account, they have said no. I have asked if the debt can be split 50-50 into two accounts, one per name, again no. Even if the balance was at 0, without both signitures I couldn't get off the account. While it is at the end of the overdraft limit, I know from experience if he takes his card into the shop and uses it, it will work, and he could take it even further overdrawn, and rack up a huge raft of charges. I have asked him to sign off the account, he won't, he has at times said he will but not until xyz, which then turns into not until zxy and never comes! I really want closure from him as this account retains a hold he has over me, and he became a very controlling and threatening man towards the end.

Basically, I know he now has money, which is in total contrast to when we were together and he rarely held down a job for more than a few weeks, spent months and months out of work where I had to support us both (but not signed on). In total a conservative estimate of what he owes me is nearly £3k, including his half of the rent for several months, money he 'borrowed' for clothes, to meet the minimum payments on his credit, and his university fees. I have pretty much written this off as never to be seen again, but it seems he is just being spiteful not to close this account.

I am about to move out of our house in 2 weeks (he left 2 months ago) as I can not afford the rent any more. Having run the budget planner upwards, downwards and sidewards I realised I couln't actually afford anywhere to rent even shared with the ammount of debt I have racked up while we were together so I am going to be staying with friends and collegues for a few months till things are a bit more manageable. This will mean I do not have a permenant address of any form. Should I put the joint account to his new address as obviously I can't just not change the address and abandon the account effectively, but I won't have one to send things to! Honestly though the ethics of this concern me, as well as the fact he would hit the roof. He also hasn't told his credit card company he has moved.

Sorry it's so long for a simple question! Any advice welcomed, Dinah x

DKLS

I had a similar thing, and the Halifax finally agreed to freezing the account to stop the bunny boiler spening any more money that wasnt hers.

Its unacceptable that they wont freeze the account under the circumstances. Go back and play merry hell, until they act.

vyvyan_2

Yep, agreed, they need to be given merry hell on this one. It will not be the first time the bank have had this situation. Basically suggest that 'any movement of any kind' on this account will require the signatures of both of you, and this instruction is of immediate effect.

frannyann

I am with the merry hell group! Mum had to do the same when dad ran off and starting spending all the money in the joint account! She basically sat in the bank until the account got frozen!

CB1979_2

take the £20k, freeze the account and then run off into the sunset

Benny24

You can get the ank account frozen. Can't understand why they are saying no? Go back and as above play merry hell!

pinkshoes

Could you phone them up and record his bank card as stolen so that it's blocked?

Perhaps if you try writing your ex a really nice letter saying why the relationship won't work, and you're sure he'll find someone really nice one day blah blah blah, and why it's important you close the relationship by doing the boring things like closing joint bank accounts etc...

sarah_smurf

I agree, and tell them his bank cards stolen if need be. Go and play hell with them and stand your ground until you get something sorted you are one half of the account holder after all and it's you it concerns, it would be different if they were after you for money or something...then the bank would be hounding you to the ground.

I would have thought the banks today would have thought up a better plan of action for the signature problem you're having for joint accounts, for if ever the situation arose that the 2 names on an account parted ways and there's bitterness involved.

Banks surely must know when couples seperate there's the possibility of clashing between the people in the break up.

Give the bank hell

Dinah93

Honestly, I'm scared of taking any 'drastic' action such as cancelling his card until I've mvoed out and he doesn't know where I am. As I said, he's more than a little scary.

Could you phone them up and record his bank card as stolen so that it's blocked?

Perhaps if you try writing your ex a really nice letter saying why the relationship won't work, and you're sure he'll find someone really nice one day blah blah blah, and why it's important you close the relationship by doing the boring things like closing joint bank accounts etc...

I like the idea that writing him a letter would sort things, but it would entirely depend on his mood that day. He's sent me horrible messages telling me he's told my most intimate secrets to his friends in the pub, and they were all laughing at me, he sent me a love letter asking to get back together to my work email address and when I said 'I appreciate the things you've said, that was a very nice email, I will always apprecaite what we had' he sent me back a message saying 'so that's a no then? You f****** b**** you deserve everything you get' along with messages another day saying 'you are in danger, and not from me. call me if you want to know'. I don't want to reopen contact as it's now been nearly a week since he last called. He's apparently got a new gf, moving in with her in fact, I feel quite sorry for the lass tbh!

He's still calling my mum, who I'm very close to several times a week. At first he was okay, so she wanted to be there as he had no one else, but he's started saying horrible things about me and she won't tell me what. No idea how to get him to stop calling her either! The temptation is to contact his mother, he's living with her until his new place is available, she *might* help me sort things out with the joint account, tbh I don't really see what I have to loose anymore.

AnnieM_3

Sorry, but this really worries me - I think you have way more problems than the bank account.

He's made threats - you need to go to the police.

Keep every single text message, letter etc. and show them to the police. Your Mum could make a complaint too, as he's obviously harrassing her now as well.

I hope things get sorted for you very soon. Keep safe

x

floss2

:grouphug:

I would keep the text messages & emails & visit the police station - he is making threats against you & you have evidence of that.

Also, ask the police if they can get the account frozen......