worried about wife's PND

baron777red

hi

i am worried about my wife, she had PND last year, after our daughter was born in february last year, but it seems to have cleared up by the beginning of the year

but recently i think it may have come back, she is low on confidence, low on self-esteem, and im not sure what to do

we asked about counselling from our GP last year and the waiting tomes were 6 weeks, so we went private, £30 a seesion which seemed to be working

but then my wifes materninty leave ended and she had to go back to work, so she stopped going, but it seems fine up until recently

the problem now is if she is working full time, how can she have time to see an NHS counsellor, the dont work weekends do they?

we can no longer afford to go private, with all the increases in cost of living and our mortgage due to increase.

i just want her to get some proper help, and get more confident, and feel better about herself

thanks

baron

Keeping_Positive

I would look into NHS and see if it can be worked aroung lunchtimes, early mornings, late afternoon? Is her work flexable at all? If NHS doesnt work I would try to accomodate the private fees as your wifes health is important and worth sacrifices elsewhere. Depression is a horrible horrible illness so I hope you can find a way to help her. Maybe some online suport groups? There is a depression support group on this forum.

brownbabygirl

for the benefit of others....PND is post natal depression. Took me ages to work that out!

mullymegs

Hi baron,

I have had really bad PND since I had my little girl 19 months ago so really feel for you. It must be so hard watching and not knowing how to help.
I'm seeing a private therapist at the moment, which is v expensive, but we see it as an investment in the future and our family so it's worth it.
But there are a lot of NHS options out there and your wife has every right to access them even while she is working. I saw a psychiatrist, a psychotherapist, a community mental health nurse and a PND support group as well as GP and health visitor. The support group was weekly and work were very supportive about going. Has she mentioned it at work at all? I just spoke to one manager who was easy to talk to and v sympathetic and actually I found that helped in lots of ways cos if i was having a bad day she sort of understood why.
There are also some good books out there, from self-help beating depression type stuff to personal stories - Eyes Without Sparkle was one I found useful. And some good internet forums - there's a great one on netmums where you can unload and know someone is going through the same as you and will understand.
Hope some of this helps - I'll be thinking of you both.
x

Hawthorn

Hi Baron.

I've had PND three times now, puerperal psychosis once.
What worked for me was exercise and a healthy diet. There is evidence to suggest also that a B vitamin supplement will help too.
Exercise is better if it's strenuous, but even walking out in the fresh air will help.
It's bloomin hard, because you REALLY don't feel like doing much but sleeping when you're in that state, but honestly, it does work.
Exercise boosts seratonin levels - depression is often caused by low seratonin levels. Plus, toning up physically will help to boost her self esteem, no doubt
I know a lot of people like to use depression support networks......from my point of view, it didn't work. It pulled me in and I kind of got stuck in a rut. Reading/talking to other depressed people just made me more aware of how down I was feeling, and dwelling on it really didn't help me. I know it works for some, but if she does go down that route, just be aware of this and keep an eye on it.
I also find that the tendency to sit and do nothing doesn't help either. It helps to keep your mind active. If you just sit, then your brain works overtime and drags you down deeper. Keeping busy is key, and if you can encourage this, it should help......even if it's just watching a film together, that kind of thing.

These things I suggest - if it's moderate to mild depression, then it should help. It is no substitute for medical help, if you suspect she is really bad. If you even get a whiff of her feeling suicidal, seek the proper medical help (by which I mean medication/possibly a hospital stay until she is stable again), but only you know how bad it is. I'm just covering all bases

Is she on anti depressants? If not, it might be worth trying them, until she feels more stable (making the other efforts as well as, to improve her chances of staying stable when medication ceases) If she is on medication already, then it might be worth seeing a doctor, as some work better for certain people than they do for others

I wish your family well xx

oki_2

Hi Baron

Your wife could try St Johns Wort - she would just need to check that it does not interact with any other medication that she may be taking - it does with the oral contraceptive pill!!

Does her work not allow her to take time off for appointments?

baron777red

hi

thanks for all your replies, my wife read the replies aswell and has posted a thread on the net mums forum and i think it has helped to get it off her chest

so thanks for all your replies

baron

belfastgirl23

Just to add too, if she's back to work would her work offer anything in the way of counselling services? I know civil service etc here in NI do....

seatzie

baron - I would suggest asking at her work about getting a "pass out" for the sessions, as its a recognised medical condition they should be able to recognise that if they assist her in getting better chances are her performance there will be better too, they could ultimately face a situation where your wife goes off on long term sick if it got really bad so its in their interest to help you

I'd also like to wish you both all the best, my wife has had it for 3 years and won't seek any help, I've been down all the avenues I can to get her help but she won't do counselling, won't take anti depressants etc, so I know where you're coming from, its good that your wife is trying to help herself

baron777red

hi

my wife works for the NHS ambulance service in the west midlands, and she is going to ask about whether they have counsellors that she can use through work, which would be great

her boss is ok, and i think they will help her if she told them

thanks

baron

specialK

Can't really say any more than what has already been said. However, does your wife have any 'me time'? I don't mean at work or when she sits down once baby is asleep.
I think it's important to remain the person you was before baby came along. Even the two of you should 'date' again. It is a big change and we jump into the role of parents, we can sometimes forget who we are. A baby does not mean we lose the life we are used too. Ok, a few sacrifices are made but she should feel that she is still X and she still has the same friends. We all can feel like we are stuck in a rut at times. It's finding a balance that works for us.
Hope she gets back to her old self soon.
Well done for stepping in and not letting her suffer in silence
Good luck.