Open post - my explanation.

DebS_2-3

First of all, thank you to each & everyone of you for your help and advice.

Compared to others my debts are either small or large in comarison. 17 and a 1/2 K.

I have MS. Gave up work in 2006. Took out a loan to consolidate in 2007. Actually had every intention of getting work. Moved in June 2007 to an adapted property. Total nightmare. Really ill, but had no problems in paying peeps until .....

my only family member met some person and stole over £2000 in 2 days from both my bank cards & cc. Between them they spent it on slot machines & gambling. The family member concerned had my pin numbers because there are/were times I couldn't get out of the house due to the MS etc. I did call the police and the Fm was given a wrap on the knuckles. I did not prosecute because I felt at 16yrs old the FM had been "turned" by another person and I also thought that starting off a working life with a criminal record was not going to be helpful. This is still so difficult for me. You can forgive but not forget.
The family member (FM) is my only child.

When I filled in the SoA, i did put down what had happened. I waffled.

I really thought that the OR would question/give me hell/whatever about it. No words were mentioned.

I really really don't mind if you bash me about my FM and my obvious bad parenting.
Sticks & stones etc - words can never hurt etc. But words do hurt - but I don't mind because you can't bash me more than I've bashed myself!:o :rolleyes:

Oh ...... and the OR didn't even ask about Vicky!! There I was all prepared - and nothing!:D

Oh - and to put the icing on the 9 minutes ......





I fell off my chair. Literally.

"Mrs ** " are you still there?"

"err, yes hang on"

" are you Ok, I heard a big crash & bang"

"err, yeh, just fell off my chair and am under the table".

"would you like me to call back?"

"Naaaa, its ok, just let me get up - I'll sit on the settee instead".

LOL - and still they haven't locked me up!:D

sandywindsor

Hey Debs sure you haven't seen Vicky...LOL:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

XX
Sandy

december

I think you've been very brave in posting this Deb S and I don't think you're a bad parent nor do you deserve a bashing. I think you deserve a nice glass of ros! from VW and a big hug.

December

DebS_2-3

:rotfl: Ha ha folks!:rotfl:

I could put a lot more. I feel ashamed, embarrassed etc. But on the whole, my bankruptcy has been pretty painless. I have never had to put up with loads upon loads of calls from creditors etc like I have read that some members have. I sort of feel ashamed about this as well.

I realise that I must come across with this sort of "couldn't care less" attitude - but thats far from the case. For me personally, if I don't try to make light of things or laugh at myself and my own stupidity, I'd would have put my head in the gas oven by now.

Please - I am not trying to make light of anyones financial situation. I do not in anyway wish to offend.

dalip

Debs i have 3 FM.2 of them have turned me grey over the years.I am not a bad parent but have made mistakes along the way. We learn from them hopefully as perhaps your FM has too. Its all behind you now so good luck on your new debt free future. I hope your health improves and that you and your daughter can repair the damage. As you say you can forgive and life is too short and precious(sp)to bear grudges. Take care sweetheart i wish you and vicky a happy future together:rotfl:

LilyBart

Debs,
Why should you feel ashamed or embarrassed? Teenagers from the happiest and most secure families go off the rails, and between you dealing with the physical and emotional toll of your MS and (probably) your only child dealing with your MS, not to mention the financial fallout, I for one think you are dealing with everything magnificently. I'd be amazed if anyone here thinks otherwise. As we've said before, being able to joke about our problems here does not mean we are not taking them seriously. You haven't come across as careless or as a bad parent - quite the reverse, actually. Now please, dearest lady, stop apologising and savour the relief of having got the OR interview over and done with.
Lily (who doesn't "do" cyber hugs but is making an exception in your case!)

edit, I meant your child probably dealing with the knowledge of your MS, not that your child is probably your only child!

shadowdragon

dont worry I have a step son who is v much like that, and although its a testing time if you come out the other end your strong.

louleesop

DebS.
When you were worried like you were,to spare the time to wish me luck shows what a lovely person you are. Keep strong, and well done!:o

peb

Debs

honestly on this site there is no need to explain or justify yourself. It sounds like you have had a terrible time but are coming back onto an even keel.

I wish you luck (and send hugs!)

tigerfeet2006

You are not a bad mother, your child is obviously very impressionable and was led astray.

I remember my brother doing something similar at that age.

peachyprice

Kids eh, who'd have em!

Debs, it's easy to feel it's your fault when a child goes astray, especially when you have an only child, but I can tell you, it's no reflection at all on the kind of parent you are. I have 2 perfectly good children and one who's been an absolute sod over the years, the kind if kid who attracks trouble, but is not streetwise enough to get away with it. If he were my only child I could see that it would be easy to blame myself, as you have. But it's not that simple, no matter how it seems to outsiders. There's no such thing as a perfect parent, or a perfect child.

You're a brave lady to post your story, I hope you'll be able to enjoy the relief now you're interview is over, you deserve it hun.

Was it Vicky's fault you fell off the chair?:D