Off Topic but what do I do

iwantoneplease

My ex partner won't let me see me son, he's 13 and she has always used the kids against me, this time she won't let me see him. We've been divorced for about three years and we had an agreement that I see both my children 3 times a week. She now won't allow him to have his phone on so I can't even speak to him.

She has moved on with her life an has a new partner and child she isn't working and has moved her partner in, he works and she's claiming benefits I pay a fortune in CSA to her.

Any advice would be helpful I should be seeing him tomorrow.

kizzykizzywizzy

There must be something you can do legally, I know it's obvious, but have you rung CAB they may have some advice.
You don't say what reasons she is giving for not letting you see him, so not much to go on.
I would never deprive my husband from seeing the children if things don't work out, ( having problems ) unless he did something to upset them or hurt them ( which he wouldn't do ) or started messing about not turning up, which would be upsetting for them.
It can't be nice for your son either, are you still seeing your other child??
I would maybe try & appeal to her better nature , if at all possible, it sounds very cruel.
Good Luck & sorry I can't help more

Violetta_2

Think you need to explain a bit more, I see you are also a single mum from previous post's, how many children do you have, do any of them live with you? Any idea why your ex won't let you see your son I assume you are his mummy too?

~Chameleon~

All a bit strange really, she claimed the ex never saw the kids or paid maintenance a few months ago and also that she has a partner who has kids of his own

iwantoneplease

Sorry for the confusion my partner was using my logon.

He has 2 kids a girl 17 and a boy 13, he see's the girl but ex partner won't let him see the boy seems to be playing the kids off against him..

the problems are just usual teenage boy stuff he's seeing a girl who lives a train ride away from his mums. Mum allows him to catch the train and see the girl but thinks his dad his neglecting him when he lets him walk to the girlfriends which is a few minutes away. See also says he's parming him off on other people ie grandparents, his gran and grandad ask him to stay ever few weeks but mum doesn't like this as she says he should be staying with his dad. The son doesn't get the opportunity to see grandparents when staying at mums.

I also have an ex partner is an !!!! and won't pay or see his daughter. Very different situations.

iwantoneplease

To update, my partner is sending his ex a letter today (recorded Del) to request contact with him to at least show that he has tried every possible thing before it goes to court. There are other things invloved but don't want to go too much into this just in case anyone recognises the family.

Hope you all understand this is the letter

I am writing to you concerning ******

You will know and I am sure agree that it is well established that it is in a child’ best interest to grow up knowing both parents. I am particularly anxious to play a full part in ****** upbringing and for us to have full and meaningful contact with each other as is ****** right. The purpose of this letter is therefore to let you know my proposals for contact in the hope that these can be agreed.

I would like to have contact with ***** on the following days and times:

• Contact every Monday, Wednesday after school.
• Staying Contact on Friday Evenings till Saturday teatime
• One week in the Spring and Christmas school holidays with ***** staying with me over alternative Christmas periods.
• Two weeks during the Summer school holiday.
• Phone call every night direct to ***** mobile

It may of course be necessary to vary these times on occasions to fit in with either of our arrangements and I hope that we will be able to agree any changes without difficulties. You can always contact me on my mobile concerning any problems over contact which arise.

Finally may I say that I hope that we can now put past difficulties between ourselves aside and work together as parents in what is in ****** best interest.

I will look forward to hearing from you shortly that the above arrangements can be agreed and with any other matters to help us work together in ******* best interest.

pinkshoes

In the mean time he should continue to contact his son by other means, i.e. sending a letter every week (directly to him), or does he have an email address? (most school kids do).

It's always important to remember that the truth will always come out, so if she's stopping you from seeing him, then your son will find this out one day, and might even resent his mother for it.

As for the CSA payments, it seems very unfair you have to pay so much money when she won't even let you see them. I think writing the polite letter and sending it recorded delivery is a good next step.

Keep us posted what happens.

CB1979_2

i'd also mention the fact that they had an agreement originally (stating what this was) and that you'd like to continue this.

that if it goes to court, it's not like your fella has just made it up that he saw him 3 days a week, etc

ie

I would like to have contact with ***** on the following days and times (as previously agreed & adhered to):

• Contact every Monday, Wednesday after school.
• Staying Contact on Friday Evenings till Saturday teatime
• One week in the Spring and Christmas school holidays with ***** staying with me over alternative Christmas periods.
• Two weeks during the Summer school holiday.
• Phone call every night direct to ***** mobile

Violetta_2

I do apologise i wantoneplease for being confused, I hope I didn't sound nasty it's just some people seem to think it's a sport to post re very emotive subjects just to upset/wind people up. I do hope things get resolved I think people who use ther children as pawns like this are terrible and nasty. How a mother or father who loves their child could stop the other parent from seeing their child for no GOOD reason is totally beyond me.

hobo28

Sounds like a spot on letter. I'd agree with what CB1979 has added too.

On the whole if the matter goes to court then much will depend upon what the son's wishes are. Assuming he wants to see his dad then she's on a hiding to nothing really.

Hope that helps

iwantoneplease

My partners ex recieved the letter yesterday and then followed up with lots of abusive texts from her and new boyfriend saying your not gonna see him we have an emergency court hearing and all will come out call my solicitor if you want to know anything else or don't believe me, so guess what he did, seems like his ex his twisting quite a few things there is no court hearing the solicitor is arranging mediation which is what we wanted..

He then asked the solicitor is there was any reason why he couldn't see his soon before he went away and she went very quiet and said I will discuss this with her next week when I see her, this is far too late as he's away tommorow for the week but the solicitor didn't want to know.

This is getting very out of hand with her partner now threatining him that if he turns up he will sort this out and I don't think he means talking.