I'm struggling..

Greensprout

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pukkamum

I think you are just missing having someone not neccesarily the relationship it's self. try and get out as much as possible, she has made it clear she is moving on and you need to do the same. As for your friends being her friends this is a common problem and is harder to deal with, so you either have to start going out with a different group of friends maybe work collegues or resign yourself to the fact that you will see her out and about.
To be honest you will probably find that one of you drifts away from the group naturally. Don't feel bad about missing her you can't spend that many years with someone and not feel anything when they leave you just have to accept it and it will hurt less eventually sending you hugs x x x

Juliav_2

Hi Greensprout

I am sorry to hear about your break up. It is never an easy situation to deal with and I think you are doing well so far.

I think it is completely normal to be feeling this way and I think you need to be strong and move on. Who knows what the future will hold but at this time, it wasn't working.

Go out with friends, talk about other things, do things you have been meaning to do for ages and it will make you feel better about things.

It's a painful process but you will come through it.

Hope this has helped a little!

Greensprout

Thanks for the comments!

I'm quite lucky that i have good friends who are willing to help, give advice and listen.
Obviously with me been in a relationship for so long I've not seen my friends as much recently but they've all been there when I needed them.

I'm slowly starting to feel better but I know it will take time.

CB1979_2

as you're a bloke (am assuming you are and not of the lesbian variety) your mates will welcome you back with open arms, men aren't as fickle and unforgiving as women when it comes to mates.

arrange a night out (not necessarily to try and pull) just a lads night out having a laugh and catch up.

all depends how really hurt and surprised you were that this has happened, to how long it'll take you to get over it (some people never do!)

as i said in another post, I split with my girlfriend of nearly 6 years and was over it within a week, vowed to stay single for at least a year and met a wicked girl within 4 months!! lol

and this relationship has really put into perspective how the other one was nothing in comparison.

the main thing that was weird was not so much missing her, but missing the intimacy, morning/night texts, etc etc just felt wierd.

oh and when in doubt get on xbox live and abuse some yanks! lol

Greensprout

Yeh

I am a bloke.. 25 years old..

I went out with my mates last week, but it didn't quite turn out as planned.. She was there with her mates too which did not help!

I don't think it was a surprise, we both agreed it was for the best to split up.. I'm just wondering is it for the best..

I'm definitley in no mood to be looking out for another woman, but in time I'm sure i'll find someone.
I just keep thinking to myself; Is there anyone my age that is actually single who doesn't have kids? What do single people do?

Yeh I do miss the texts/chats etc. I still speak to her now and then which I find helps, although most people seem to say cut all contact.. I just don't know what to do..

CB1979_2

lol - be prepared to be shot down in flames for the single parent comment on here!

but least you're honest and don't want to mess any women about with regards their kids.

but also i wouldn't rule out someone just cos they had a kid, you never know it could be the future Mrs Greensprout, you've rejected.

it probably would be better to try and cut contact, you're getting little "fixes" of her which is clouding your judgement.

take a step back and look at how things were and you'll probably realise it defo was for the best to split.

you never know, if you have no contact you both may change your minds, she wants back and you don't.

i was helped by the fact my ex wasn't real mates with mine (so didn't see her out and about) and also i started playing rugby again (training twice a week & playing on Saturday) and one day after rugby i got asked to go and work as a doorman for the night (I ended up doing that for about 18 months and ended up meeting my g/f there as she worked behind the bar).

galvanizersbaby

CB1979 wrote: »

lol - be prepared to be shot down in flames for the single parent comment on here!

Thought I'd better shoot Greensprout down for his single parent comment :rotfl:
I can see why at 25 you wouldn't be looking to meet somebody with children though - I'm sure there's somebody special out there for you Greensprout.

I'm quite impressed that you had a girlfriend for 4 years - certainly at your age I wasn't big on long term relationships - plenty of time for that later

Try and get out with a friend that is not linked to your ex that might help? - hope you feel better soon x

Trix

You're not single? :eek: I seem to remember you saying you were in The Arms

Anyway - you're not sure at the minute if it's her or the lifestyle you're missing, so you may be just panicking about leaving part of your life that you've known since you were 21 and got used to the comfort and routine of, and not actually your ex herself IYSWIM :undecided

You need to get out with your friends again, go places you won't bump into her and do other activities/sports etc. Change your routines at home as well - even move around the furniture if it helps!

Once you've settled into a new routine, you may find it easier to think about what you want

Greensprout

Yeh i've strated playing football again and seeing my mates more which is helping.

Trix - We kinda split up over a month ago but I've been seeing her a bit recently but now it's definitlely over so I'm a bit lost..

Greensprout

As for the single parent comment

I wasn't been nasty or anything I have lots of single parent friends

I just meant it seems everyone my age is already snapped up or has excess baggage which i wouldn't be ready for.. Saying that I'll see what happens!