scared about having a baby.

squishyclaire

I was wondering if any of you good people out there could give me a hand with a dilema I have. I have been with my partner for 3 years and we are very happy together. We have talked on many occassions about having a baby but we were not in a financial position to do this as I was not in a permanant job. In Jan this year I got a really good job and for the first time I am on reasonable money althought the stress has gone up with the level of pay. Now we do have the finanacial stablity to have a baby I have got really cold feet. I am just plain scared of the finances, of the life change, about the implications for my health (i suffer from bad migraines set off by stress and lack of sleep generally). I love my partner and he really wants to start a family and I am so scared of losing him if I don't have a baby.
Don't get me wrong I love kids and I am really good with them but I just don't know where to turn for help. All my friends have children but I just feel they won't understand what I am going through. Have any of you guys any experiences or advice you could offer, i feel alone in sorting out what I want in my head.

squidge60

tbh you dont sound ready to have a baby i would wait until you feel having a baby comes top of the list as i think everthing else falls into place.definetly dont have a baby because you oh wants 1 and you are afraid of losing him.wait until it feels right for you.:D

Marker_2

There is never a right time to have a baby But when you do have one you will wonder what you spent your money on beforehand. Raising a child is do able on any wage. As long as you have the essentials then your doing pretty good in life. I strongly advise that any advice you get from those who have had a baby you take on board, wish I did I bought so much stuff I didnt actually need for the little one, wasted a fortune.

As for your job, your entitled to maternity and when you go back to work you may be able to get help with childcare costs. Its not nice leaving the kids to go to work, I hate it, but in this day and age its just the way it is and you learn to deal with it.

as a child I suffered from migraines. I was fine when I was pregnant though. Talk to your doctor before you start trying, he may be able to recommend something which should help. Are you on anything at the moment?

Being pregnant and a parent is hard work, but honestly it is the most rewarding. you will have bad days but the good will far outweigh those. As long as your child is healthy, the dishes, the washing etc can all wait. Those are the sort of stuff we stress about, on a good day when you look back you wonder why lol.

Talk it over with your OH and talk to your doctor. If you want children then at some point you are going to have to go through all this anyway.

Good Luck and let us know what you decide x