'The curse of insomnia.' blog discussion

Former_MSE_Lawrence

This is the discussion to link on the back of Martin's blog. Please read the blog first, as this discussion follows it.

Read Martin's 'The hideous curse of insomnia' Blog.

Click reply to discuss below.

manathu

Martin you need to slow down. Take a holiday. The economic situation is not good and we like you to keep us up to speed but not sleeping is bad. Go away and come back refreshed .

richb77

Of course there are loads of old wives tales out there giving advice on how to get to sleep. Apparently, counting backwards from 300 is the best solution... it can't be done.

haelen

At the risk of being accused of shameless self-promotion (except that what I'm promoting is free of charge and has worked for many people), you could try my mp3, Martin:

www.freeyoganidra.co.uk/

Wishing you well,
Tim

Emmar

Hi guys, I am having an absolute nightmare due to my ex husband whom I have been separated from for 3 and a half yrs and recently divorced. We have 2 children together and he has been dragging us through the courts for yrs trying to get full residence. A final order was made 16 months ago with regards to them and he has them alternate weekends and overnight weds night, as well as half of ALL the holidays they get from school, alternate birthdays and xmas’s, which I think is totally acceptable and have accepted as well the children have for the past 16 months. It took over 2 yrs, 2 Cafcass interviews for the kids to go through and countless court hearings as he was so awkward and unreasonable. It wasn’t really about the kids for him as his mum has them for him when they go. It was to spite me. He wouldn’t take the advice of his own solicitor and was being supported throughout this financially by Legal aid! It ran into the thousands and as I returned to work in Jan 07 I became responsible for 100% of my legal costs. He knows this and after the children’s case was finalised and I applied for divorce and ancilliary relief proceedings his delay tactics began again to increase my costs. He failed to attend court for the FDR hearing which was adjourned, then he failed to show again at which time the judge ordered a final hearing for 31st July. This week I have received a letter from his new solicitors saying they have asked the court to adjourn it again as they need time to apply for his Legal aid and obtain his file. This is totally unfair and my solicitor has written to the court to ask them not to allow this as this case began in June 07, my costs for all this is almost £3000 and he hasn’t even turned up yet!! He will come to the final with this new solicitor and be awarded an amount I have to give him to buy him out of the house which is the only asset we have and he won’t have to pay a penny for t as he doesn’t work! It gets worse as the letter from these new solicitors states that they have been instructed to apply to the court again to open the children’s case up again as he wants to again go for full residency as he feels he doesn’t see them enough and this might affect the outcome of the ancillary relief hearing as he might get more awarded! They are admitting that time with the kids = Money!! What’s really getting my goat is that I am a great mum and have never put a foot wrong, I work 30 hrs a week and have paid the mortgage and everything for the children for the past 3 and half yrs with no help from him and now I am clocking up a massive bill with my solicitor which I will have to stick on my new mortgage when the time comes if I ever get there! And he has got it all scot free!! If he does manage to open up a case over the children again, aside from affecting them over again, I can’t see how I am going to be able to carry on working when I am being forced into debt by him and his legal aid! He shouldn’t be able to be funded to make my life a misery when he has no cause except his own selfish reasons. I don’t have any criminal record, I am an upstanding member of the community, I work and try to support me and the children alone and I am not abusive to him. Can he do this forever, drag me and the kids through the court with the help of Legal aid? There doesn’t seem to be anything I can do except reply through my solicitor and go with it! The future seems rather daunting and the thought of him being supported to carry on is baffling! It’s about time they pulled the plug on his funding and saw him for what he is all about. I’m trapped and don’t know where to turn, can you offer any advice on how I can save money on this or any advice on the running of Legal aid as it seems appalling to me and my family.

Thank you

Emma Robinson

vivatifosi

Hi Emma,

First, well done you. It takes guts to put your first post on MSE, especially one where you need help as you do.

Unfortunately hun, you've posted on the wrong part of the boards. I'm going to contact MSE Lawrence and see if he can move your part of the thread. If he can't, then can I please suggest you have a look at a couple of other forums?

Firstly there's "Money Saving in Relationships", this can be found here:

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.html?f=24

Also, check out the Debt Free Wannabe board. Which is a mine of mutual support for people who are starting to get into debt as a result of situations like yours. That can be found here:

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.html?f=76

Good luck, and know that we're a friendly bunch here, and there will be plenty of people to offer advice and support.

Vivatifosi xx

hollydays

I used to suffer from insomnia.
I had to give up tea and coffee for other health reasons, I can't believe how much better I sleep now.
If you drink a lot of tea and coffee think about it. Now I drink Redbush tea and decaf coffee

ladyglen

Hi Martin, I've just registered... wanted to recommend.. "Quiet Life" herbal remedy, that you can buy from Holland and Barratt.. It is really good, and completely safe and natural... it relieves periods of worry, irritability, stresses and worry.. promotes natural sleep.

MSE_Martin

hollydays wrote: »

I used to suffer from insomnia.
I had to give up tea and coffee for other health reasons, I can't believe how much better I sleep now.
If you drink a lot of tea and coffee think about it. Now I drink Redbush tea and decaf coffee

I gave up caffeine a year ago for just that reason....

Thanks for all the good wishes... still feeling VERY rough, but trying to keep going. Debating whether exercise in my state is good or bad

prosleep

Hi - there are many aspects to insomnia that are fastiduously overlooked by sleep-specialists and pharmaceutical concerns. One of them is the fact that your sleep-problems might be a somatic alert, a symptom or a messenger that something is not userfriendly in your waking-life. Another consideration is that most sleep-hostile mind activities are not sleep-specific at all. what people experience as insomnia is obsesssive fretting. That can be adressed much more efficiently at a non-emergency setting during the day, and these skills are then transferable to sleep-time. And there is more: foremost the distinct possibility that 'fighting insomnia' by any means is a counterproductive paradigm. Fighting triggers biologiacal alert sequences. Why not court, embrace, enable sleep instead? You could read Gayle Greene's book Insomniac to get a feel for how desperate things can get - or read: I want to Sleep - Unlearning Insomnia. For a taste check: wwww.outskirtspress.com/iwanttosleep

Greenshieldstamp_2

Hello there,

What works for me, is to accept that you are not going to sleep when you go to bed, but to tell yourself that you are going to get some rest by lying down. It takes the "crossness" / anxiety away that you are not asleep when you should be, and turns it into a positive that you are at least getting some rest. Then even if you haven't had a night's sleep ,then you feel more relaxed and quite often you might have dropped off for a while anyway.

Best wishes
Greenshield