MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should you still help your kids get on the housing ladder?

schoolfundraiser

shadej wrote: »

Its simple save a deposit or carry on renting and living at home.

Of course if the solution is having your children living with you for another 20 years I'd pay the money every time just to get my house and life back. My Dad has had my youngest brother at home for nearly 50 years now.

When my daughter was about 5 she thought that it was the parents who left home when children grew up and would not be convinced that it was the children who left.:rotfl:

Beees

Originally Posted by shadej
You have no one, but yourself to blame if you are 24 and only earning £16,500 a year.
I turned 24, 2 weeks ago and I earn £29,600pa which will increase next year. I went to uni and got a degree.

I have a 2:1 from Warwick University, a top 10 uni in this country. I have been turned away from at least 4 jobs on the grounds of being 'overqualified'. So your assumption that my salary is due to a lack of degree is completely wrong.

Why should I be 'blamed' for 'only' earning the amount I do? Does a higher salary necessarily mean someone is more ambitious, harder working or somehow a better person than me? If I was a care worker helping the old, ill or dying I would be lucky to earn £13k a year. If I was a nurse I'd be very happy to get £19k after several years at the job. Assuming that the height of your salary determines how hard you've worked is both offensive and in many cases simply untrue. Do you consider Jade Goody more ambitious and a harder worker than yourself because she has millions in the bank? Do you not consider luck or support from others to have been a factor in your achievements at all? Cos I'm sure my saving problems would be considerably reduced if I had a spouse earning £37k...

A degree is not the answer to everything, least of all getting a decent salary, and if everyone in the country went to uni, the worth of a degree would be reduced immensely. Plus if every low-earning worker decided their salaries were a source of shame (as ShadeJ implies it is) and downed tools to get a degree, the country would collapse. Anyway, most employers I've been to couldn't care less about university qualifications and were far more interested in work experience - something I'd probably have had more of if I'd left school at 18. Never mind, I made my choice to go to uni and I consider myself lucky to have had the opportunity. For those who don't have supportive parents or a sufficiently well-off background, it just isn't a realistic opportunity.

ShadeJ also directly contradicts herself by saying 'parents shouldn't have to carry you at the age of 24' and then saying 'either rent or save up a deposit by living at home'. I rent precisely because I don't think my parents should have to carry me at my age. So how do I save my deposit exactly?

Furthermore, a change of careers or retraining can be an expensive option not open to everyone. Any kind of adult education has fees attached to it, which presumably anyone wanting to save up for a mortgage would rather put towards the deposit that is now demanded by any mortgage lender.

Alexander13_2

Bees - I am puzzled as you what you do and where you work to earn such a meagre salary with no apparent prospect for change. I am involved in a number of small companies where anyone of 24 would expect to be earning at least £20k. As I will be expecting my daughter, now 18, to be earning a decent salary at that age. If she's not, the money I've been putting aside for years towards the deposit for her first house will be spent on my husband and myself. She knows nothing about this. Mad to make generous financial promises when you don't know what the future will bring.

shadej

Beees wrote: »

I have a 2:1 from Warwick University, a top 10 uni in this country. I have been turned away from at least 4 jobs on the grounds of being 'overqualified'. So your assumption that my salary is due to a lack of degree is completely wrong.

Try applying for more than four jobs. You seem to have been earning that amount for a while. Find another job. I was cleaning to pay my way through collage and uni with a baby as a single parent.

Why should I be 'blamed' for 'only' earning the amount I do?
Who else should be blamed?

Does a higher salary necessarily mean someone is more ambitious, harder working or somehow a better person than me?
It has not much to do with ambition, if you want more money and your own house you have to work for it. Take on an extra job and if thats not possible then you will have to wait until you have found a job that can support the lifestyle you want.

Do you consider Jade Goody more ambitious and a harder worker than yourself because she has millions in the bank? No as I said, work for what you want rather than sitting there and trying to find someone to blame. Every one can get a degree or re-train.

Do you not consider luck or support from others to have been a factor in your achievements at all?
Luck? If only. I was a single mother and did everything alone without my parents as I moved away to study. I had very little support and I am very proud to say I did it alone.

Cos I'm sure my saving problems would be considerably reduced if I had a spouse earning £37k...
Wrong, when I met my partner he was a struggling artist. I was supporting him. When he spent a year retraining he had very little money. I had always saved as I strongly believed in saving for the future and providing for my child. BEEES, you will most likely find you had things much easier than I did.

A degree is not the answer to everything, least of all getting a decent salary, and if everyone in the country went to uni, the worth of a degree would be reduced immensely.
Very true but there is work that you can train for with out going to uni. If you spent less time trying to find an excuse and more time applying for jobs you might be on your way to your dream home. It would be silly to say that everyone should get a degree but be happy with what you earn or get a 2nd job or re-train.

Plus if every low-earning worker decided their salaries were a source of shame (as ShadeJ implies it is) and downed tools to get a degree, the country would collapse.
Who said that? Not me, I would do what ever job necessary to support my family, even cleaning toilets and litter picking. I want a certain lifestyle so I work hard for it.
That don't mean I work harder than the next person, most of us can all re-train for a job that suits the lifestyle we want.

I consider myself lucky to have had the opportunity. For those who don't have supportive parents or a sufficiently well-off background, it just isn't a realistic opportunity.
So not true, more and more people nowadays want to go to uni regardless of their background. I know this from being a student ambassador.

ShadeJ also directly contradicts herself by saying 'parents shouldn't have to carry you at the age of 24' and then saying 'either rent or save up a deposit by living at home'. I rent precisely because I don't think my parents should have to carry me at my age. So how do I save my deposit exactly?
Just because you live at home , does not mean you are carried. Pay rent and cover your bills. Your rent for your room at home will be less, which means more money saved. So no I did not contradict myself. For someone with a degree your not very smart, maybe this is why employers are turning you away. Try a bit of determination and less blame.

Furthermore, a change of careers or retraining can be an expensive option not open to everyone. Any kind of adult education has fees attached to it, which presumably anyone wanting to save up for a mortgage would rather put towards the deposit that is now demanded by any mortgage lender.

Er... retraining is an investment. Why pay a deposit and struggle to pay a mortgage.
I think most would rather invest in their future to secure a better job, which in return will provide a bigger income and allow you a higher deposit.

You have far too many excuses!

just22

Much as I'm sure I seem like the little princess having everything handed to her, since my parents invested the deposit and went guarantor on my flat, I actually agree totally with shadej. We live in a society with a very strong "I deserve" feel to it.

There are a lot of people who think that with the minimum of effort they should suddenly have a great salary, or lose wieght and get fit wihtout the diet and exercise involved. The short answer is, if you're not happy with things the way they are, stop whining or find a way of changing them. It's no one elses responsibility but your own. It's ok to ask people for help, it's not ok to expect it!

My parents did a wonderful thing for me helping me out with my flat, but it was also because it looked to be a pretty good investment for them, and I never considered that they SHOULD give me anything towards it.

"if the shortcut was an easy path, it wouldn't be a short cut anymore, it would just be the way"

popsicat

just22 wrote: »

It's ok to ask people for help, it's not ok to expect it!

My parents did a wonderful thing for me helping me out with my flat, but it was also because it looked to be a pretty good investment for them, and I never considered that they SHOULD give me anything towards it.

Hello Princess - I didn't have to help out my daughter either and she never expected it. I always say to her..."there will be nothing to inherit - when I retire I spend what I've got" - the equity in the flat is now underwriting her studying in New York (full legal charge) - no other investment would have done that for me and to show she is grateful she is working demanding casual jobs to support herself rather than spend the dollar fund I set up to get her study visa.
Anyway that's me the proud (poor) mum and I wouldn't change it!:o