MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should you still help your kids get on the housing ladder?

popsicat

shadej wrote: »

I turned 24, 2 weeks ago and I earn £29,600pa which will increase next year. I went to uni and got a degree.
My hubby is 28 and earns £37,000 as a Welder. We own a £240.000 2 bed semi in London/Essex. Most of my friends own their own places and earn above £25,000.

You and your friends are clearly doing well - very few of my daughter's graduate friends (24/25 years old) are earning anywhere near this level in a secure job and most will probably never achieve what your hubby is earning at 28 so they will never be in a position to even attempt the deposit you must have needed for £240,000. So some parents will always face the dilema of funding a deposit.

shadej

popsicat wrote: »

You and your friends are clearly doing well - very few of my daughter's graduate friends (24/25 years old) are earning anywhere near this level in a secure job and most will probably never achieve what your hubby is earning at 28 so they will never be in a position to even attempt the deposit you must have needed for £240,000. So some parents will always face the dilema of funding a deposit.

Thats very true so maybe buy what you can afford or save until you can.
My parents had to buy their home by themselves, with no help. It would really hurt me to see my parents re-mortgage for mine and my hubby's benefit. If a parent chooses to help their child buy a house then that is up to them, but I think saying that you cant afford it and they must cough up is wrong. No one with a degree working full time should earn less that 19,000. If you are, then its time for a change. The woman I quoted was 24. My mum bought her house at 27 so their is time to save without bothering your folks. Also now they do buy half rent half, which means half a deposit. Two girls I went to uni with even bought a flat together. Parents should buy your first car, not a house for their married daughter.

[Deleted User]

You've not got a lot of confidence in you or your friend's ability to get payrises and promotions, have you? At 24, i was on 19k working as an academic. 4 years on, i've moved jobs and earning 13k more (and expecting a good payrise in a few months due to a promotion)

At 24/25 - i felt just like you. I didn't think i could ever buy a house. Then, i met my gf (now wife) and after a year, we bought a nice 2 bed house on the outskirts of london.

Have faith and don't expect everything without wait

phoebe03cat

Thank god there are some young people out there don't think it should be handed to them on a plate. After all, where has the parent's savings come from-damn hard work! We have gone without for our children all of our married life and despite being given NOTHING ourselves now find ourselves approaching retirement with at least some savings, but its taken a lifetime. Perhaps we should just kick the bucket now and hand it all over. I suffered dreadfully going back to work when my children were small (it wasn't the norm like it is now)-I wanted to be at home with them both. We forked out the majority of our salarys for 20+ years to provide the opportunities from which they have both benefitted, BUT we did it willingly for them- it was our responsibility as parents. But kids have responsibilities too and eventually have to GROW UP and stand on their own two feet, no its not easy- they might just have to wait for it too. What is it with this never ending 'hand out' assumption - Instead of demeaning themselves and going cap in hand, perhaps a bit self respect and drive through necessity might pay dividends in the workplace. Even the birds get kicked out of the nest eventually.............

beingjdc

shadej wrote: »

You have no one, but yourself to blame if you are 24 and only earning £16,500 a year.
I turned 24, 2 weeks ago and I earn £29,600pa which will increase next year. I went to uni and got a degree.

When I was 24 I had just quit my job earning £16k a year in a call centre, to move to a job earing £5.50 an hour plus not a lot of commission doing admin in an electrical shop. Worked out slightly better as I saved £15 a week on commuting by bus.

I have a 2:1 from Oxford.

shadej

I'm not suggesting all 24 year olds should earn over £25,000
If your not happy with your earnings then change jobs or re-train.
My husband has a degree in Technical and scientific illustration, but that was not paying the bills as he was freelance, he decided to retrain as a welder. If you want a better quality of life thats fine, but you must do whatever it takes to get it. Your parents must not carry you at the grown age of 24. The woman that helped her 19 year old daughter was very kind in doing so but I hope she didn't feel pressured to, as many 19 year olds rent. Enjoy your money, go on holiday and have fun but don't buy a married child a house.

Cameron

MiserlyMartin wrote: »

Words almost fail me. I had guessed that you were a Buy To Let person way before I'd read the last few line of your post. Your post is self interest based, irresponsible, biased and quite simply the worst piece of advice I think I have ever read on an internet forum.

Sorry I disagree - key to money saving is looking after yourself.

Cameron

pjaj

There's far more to this than just should you - shouldn't you.

Apart from the obvious question, "why haven't they saved any deposit?" you should ask yourself the following (some of which may be impossible to answer)

• Are they otherwise financially sound? (will they be able to afford a mortgage now / in the future / if and when they have kids?)
• Is their marriage sound? (Are they likely to stay together till the market recovers?)
• Can you set it up so that your daughter gets the money back in the case of a divorce? (tenants in common?)
• Is it going to be a gift or a fixed term loan or an indefinite term loan?
• Would I be seriously affectd if they never paid it back?
• Can this be used to advantage for IHT reduction? (7 year rule)
• Have I got any better use for the money short term?
• ditto long term?
• How many other children do I have in the same situation (now / potentially) and should I be fair / even handed with all of them?
• How big a softy am I!?
• Can I really afford it?

But otherwise it's a simple question.

andrewtaggart86

Hi In Septemper 2007 I Bought First Flat I Had A Large Deposit But I Still Couldn't Afford The Mortgage I Could Get With My Salary,

Before Mums Help I Had A Deposit Of 28.3% Of The Value Of My Flat

With Mums Help I Had A Deposit Of 40.7% Of The Value Of The Flat.

Now Its July And Flat In The Same Block As Mine Has Just Sold For 11% More Than The Purchase Of Mine.

Should I Be Able To Pay Her Back Either Throught The Sale Of The Flat If I Go Up A Step On The Ladder Or Over Time I Will.

berty_bassett

The credit crunch of which everyone whitters on about is merely media fuelled , the more we take notice the more we will slump into a housing depression , the way through is to ignore the medias opinions and to get on with buying the house we want .In the shortfall house values may fall a little, but the bigger picture is more optimistic..... the media has a habit of creating fear in all aspects of our lives, dont eat this ,dont drink that, dont buy this, dont trust that,,,, its fear created by the media that causes all sorts of problems that dont even exist....weapons of mass destruction ( lies ) bird flu ( highly exaggerated ) global warming (oh please ) the moon landing (the greatest lie ever told ) Just because you hear something come out of trevor macdonalds mouth it doesnt mean its true does it ?? he,s just telling you what he,s paid to tell you .If we listen to everything the media and tv has to say we would all be eating watercress and melon three times a day and going to bed at 5.30 in the evening ,,I bought a house in may this year with no fear at all ,the market fluctuates naturally this is a fact but optimism is they key , get positive and buy your dream home...if your going to keep it theres no problem , if on the other hand you are hoping to sell on quickly this is another matter,,,