An opinion on the school my ASD DS may be attending, please

blue_monkey_2

Hi, I wonder if someone can give me an opinion on this situation. Apologies, this is long.

6 weeks ago we had to move and we got a HA house which is some way from the kids current school (school A), each round journey is 90 minutes (twice a day) and I've been spending around £60-£70 on petrol a week. I decided to keep the kids where they were as it was so close to the end of the academic year, one is Nursery and the other Reception.

The local school (school is full for my son, my daughter has a place in Year 1 in September and I have an appeal hearing for my son to get a place so I will not know until Mid August whether he is in or not. So I need a 'back up school' nearer home as the travelling is OK but the cost of fuel to 'school A' is crippling so I do need to change to one that is nearer if we are not successful with the appeal.

I have had a look around School C that is 3 miles away and they have said they will take them both in September. However..... my son is ASD and has behaviour problems. He is not bad all of the time but there is times that he does need some assistance and the school he is at now seem happy to give him that and know how to deal with him. School C, I was told, had a good reputation for children who had additional needs. However, on the visit the lady showing me around introduced me to the Senco Co-ordinator (who deals with Special Needs) and told her about my son - after saying hello she then turned back to the lady and said 'why do they always insist on sending THEM here' and she then gave me a lecture on funding and how there was none available so there would be no help for him and I just stood there open mouthed gaping like a bloody goldfish (I am cross with not answering her tbh). I said I just needed people who would understand his needs if he was being difficult and then she said 'fine, but the funding is not there for anything else'.

So, now what to do. I am told that tere may be spaces at School D but it is a tiny school but that too is 5 miles away so again means driving so more money getting too and from school - every other school in the area is full and neither can get in.

Do you think that School C has the right attitude to take my son given that he can be difficult and sometimes needs an extra bit of help. Would they not give it if he really needed it do you think? He is on an IEP (Individual learning plan) where he is now so ideally this would need to be carried forward. Would I just be better of taking this off the consideration list and keeping them at school A regardless of the cost and cut back elsewhere?

Please can someone give me an impartial opinion on what is the right thing to do. Any other thoughts on this would be great as it is driving me insane the more I think about it. I have not told my hubby what she said because he will either kick up a stink or say they are not going there at all and this is why I wanted some other advice from people who were not emotionally involved to the situation - I only have a few weeks before school ends and need to ensure that they have spaces to start in September so I have to sort something out. Thank you.

georgieb_2

hi there,
your post made me soo cross for you!! my son has asd and behavioural problems too and i have three other children , we have been through the changing schools bit too due to lack of willingness to help etc etc from school 1.

anyway, my thoughts are that firstly school c (i think) the woman who said what she did so you could hear is highly unprofessional and if nothing else I would complain to the head. No funding is rubbish it is hard but, if your son is on an iep he should be on school action plus (i think thats what its called) which is the stage before a statement could be applied for. You need to be keeping a record of all this.
Personally though I would be put off with an attitude like that.

I would want my children at the same school for ease of school runs, but at a caring school. A small school doesnt mean that they could not cope with your son or give him the extra time.

This post isnt really saying what i would like it too as I am forgetting your original post! but if you want to pm me I am happy to chat about it all! my son is now 6 and a half and its been a battle since he was three with one thing and another.

do what you feel is best for your son and if it means for now hanging on at their present school until you feel happier then maybe thats what you may have to do. As your son has asd you may be able to apply for disability living allowance, which then may help with your transport costs?

anyway hth

georgie x

blue_monkey_2

Hi Georgie,

Thank you for being so honest. Yes, I know I thoughthe same but thought that maybe I was being over-sensitive about it, I spoke to the lady today who suggested the school to me and she was horrified that they said that in front of me too. I just feel sad that they made me feel that if he needed extra help then they would not be prepared to give it. The whole thing is a minefield isn't it. Is your son happy where he is now? The school he is at now put him on the IEP and gave him his own TA a month after he started nursery and while one of the teachers does not seem to 'get' the issues he has, overall the school have been really good and they just know him (you know what I mean).

Yes, we got DLA which started last month, I never thought of that, at the moment it has been used to buy new outdoor play equipment for them because we have moved. I will have that extra money after that is paid for.

He had been having a good spell and I thought everything was going too well and I forgot how bad he can be but the last week has been horrendous and last week he ran out of school in hs socks - luckily my friend caught him before he could get out of the grounds - but I do not want him to suffer. I have to get up to bed (I have to run the morning with military presicion else I do not get out of the door in time!!) but DS has started waking at night again but I will drop you a note tomorrow. Thank you xx

Savvy_Sue

No way would any child of mine go to School C ...

But I would go and look at School D.

And bone up on your grounds for appeal for school B. There is a long thread about school appeals here. If you can find a reason why they are wrong NOT to give your son a place, you are in a better position than if you just trying to appeal to their better nature, IYSWIM.

Poppy9

If you let the LEA place your children at a school, i.e. not preferred placement because the choice was taken away from you, if it's over 2 miles away the LEA have to pay transport costs to get them to school till they are 7. After the age of 7 it's 3 miles away but many LEA keep the 2 mile rule throughout juniors.

I would speak to Head of school C about what the Senco co-ord. said and get his/her view on your son's needs, funding etc.

shazrobo

hi blue monkey, i have had trouble with schools too and tbh there no way i would send son to school c, as another poster suggested i would use the dla money to pay for his transport costs if his present school copes well with his needs and he is happy there.
incedentally i have twins with asd/adhd, one goes to a school 8 miles away and the other goes to one 15 miles away, at the end of the day its what suits the child best. good luck

poe.tuesday

I personally would go back to school c and ask to speak to the head regarding the comments of the senco teacher as I think you may find that he/she has nor rights let alone knowledge to say what he/she said, once you have got the info from the horses mouth then you can either keep them on the list of cross them off

blue_monkey_2

Good morning, thanks for the answers. I think I have what am looking for, I guess I have to consider buying a cheap dielse car if the kids are going to stay where they are. I am worried about reporting it because if the children do end up going there I might be seen as a troublemaker and I don't want to get anyone in trouble. I have called the school and without giving up the spaces totally I have to let them go to the transition day on Wednesday. What a nightmare.

So, the question is, if you was me would you just give the space up in school C then leaving me with school A or B if DS wins the appeal? They have more or less told me I have to do this if they do not attend on the Transition day, but the appeals team have told me I must take the place because it might leave me with nothing in September. The other side is that if they are not on the list for another local school it might be better as far as the appeal goes too.

I am off to bang my head against the brick wall some more......

Well, another school run so will be back later on tonight with some more when I have decided what I have to do for the best.

Thanks again.

Savvy_Sue

What poppy says about distance to school is true, but note that you're unlikely to get the LEA to pay for YOUR costs in transporting your son, they are more likely to arrange transport for him, which may or may not suit his needs, especially if he's not yet statemented.

poet123

The SENCO was out of order,and tbh her comments do not inspire me with confidence that his needs will be met. If there are issues,do you want to deal with someone like her? do you want your child to deal with her?. I would discount that school as long term if there were issues you could find yourself moving them again she may actually have done you a favour.

fallen_angel_69

i went to a school that i was thinking of sending dd1 to and the senco there had a attitude similar to that as the senco you mentioned i came out of the school saying that if that was her attitude than my dd1 was not going to go there
look into the option of the transport because i know a family who the local school was not suitable for her needs and the local lea (i think) provide a mini bus that comes and picks the child up in the morn and drops her back at night
i hope everything else is going ok for you as i have not seen you posting for a while and was wondering where you had got to