Can a Child be adopted without a naturel parents consent?

jeanmd

Does anyone have any experience in this?

My DD is almost 16 and wants her SF to adopt her.
Without going into too much detail, she stopped contact with her natural father herself over 5 years ago.
She's been through self harming and counseling all to do with NF, (she's come out the other side very well.)
She has been asking if her stepfather could adopt her for quite a few years now, but is becoming more insitant.
Basically is it worth going to a solicitor and can the adoption go ahead without any contact with NF?
My DD has good reason not to want any contact with NF.

I know this is going to ruffle a few feathers and I totally agree that children need fathers in their lives and absent fathers get a raw deal.

shelley_crow

i think that your daughter could change her name by deed poll when she is 16 to her assume her stepfather's name, no involvement with her nf needed. As she is 16, i doubt there would be much point in your husband adopting her, she is a young adult. Assuming that she wants to change her name to get rid of the connotations of her nf then deed poll might be the better answer. If she doesn't want contact with her nf then the courts can't force her, at her age her wishes should be paramount x

In_Search_Of_Me

Hi there
Her birth father would usually have to give consent to the adoption if it were to go ahead. I would get in touch with your local social services children & families duty team to get some advice. She has to be quick though as of the top of my head think she has to do this by 18 and can check on Mon but would need to know which part of UK you live i (different legislation Eng, Wales & scot!).
It is an intrusive process though (assessment of new partner, police checks & medicals plus various visits, legal implications and a certain amount of stress being under the microscope!) and you all need to weigh up the legal process with her desire to be adopted but its not something to enter into lightly as it is legally severing her birth fathers rights. If he witholds his consent the court could override this and grant an adoption order in view of her wishes & feelings, age, depending on circumstances...I am happy to advise privately (my area of work) if you would like to PM...Also if DD has any questions she would like to ask? Good luck with it meanwhile!

jeanmd

shelley_crow wrote: »

i think that your daughter could change her name by deed poll when she is 16 to her assume her stepfather's name, no involvement with her nf needed. As she is 16, i doubt there would be much point in your husband adopting her, she is a young adult. Assuming that she wants to change her name to get rid of the connotations of her nf then deed poll might be the better answer. If she doesn't want contact with her nf then the courts can't force her, at her age her wishes should be paramount x

thanks for that.

I have talked to her about just changing her name.
she wants the adoption and has for a long time, but I know NF won't agree.

Here reasons for wanting the adoption is in her words:- that her SD is her dad in her eyes (and his) she never wants contact with her nf again and she doesn't want to ever have to put his name on any forms etc or ever acknowledge that he is her nf in future.
He did go into school and get her report once, the consiquence was she tried to comit suicide.
I think she needs to put a line under this, that everything is finished and her relationship with him is over.

shelley_crow

jeanmd wrote: »

thanks for that.

I have talked to her about just changing her name.
she wants the adoption and has for a long time, but I know NF won't agree.

Here reasons for wanting the adoption is in her words:- that her SD is her dad in her eyes (and his) she never wants contact with her nf again and she doesn't want to ever have to put his name on any forms etc or ever acknowledge that he is her nf in future.
He did go into school and get her report once, the consiquence was she tried to comit suicide.
I think she needs to put a line under this, that everything is finished and her relationship with him is over.

That's awful! Your poor daughter. Is there any way you could keep him away from her legally in the meantime, such as a restraining order? Is there anything else you could use to strengthen your case for the adoption, such as police reports, psychiatrist report (the effect he has on her health). Also, if she changes her name by deed poll first then maybe that would show the apotion social worker how your daughter wants to distance herself from nf. Just a few thoughts, i don't know if they'd be any use. My thoughts are with your daughter, i hope nf doesn't make things any more difficult for her. At least she has a supportive mom and stepdad x

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Adoptionfosteringandchildrenincare/AdoptionAndFostering/DG_10021340

according to this link, the courts take the child's wishes into account more than the contesting parent, especially at your daughters age this might be a deciding factor.

Carmina_Piranha_3

i was wondering if parental responsibility might be an alternative, then she might still feel connected to her stepfather?

i don't know much about adoption - do you get a new birth certificate? how are things like applying for a passport affected? my son is going away with school and they apply for a group passport. i had to give school the details of his parentage on his birth certificate. in his case there's no father listed, which is pretty horrible for him i think.

jeanmd

Carmina_Piranha wrote: »

i was wondering if parental responsibility might be an alternative, then she might still feel connected to her stepfather?

i don't know much about adoption - do you get a new birth certificate? how are things like applying for a passport affected? my son is going away with school and they apply for a group passport. i had to give school the details of his parentage on his birth certificate. in his case there's no father listed, which is pretty horrible for him i think.

It quite hard for kids either way, there are so many instances where both natural parents details are required. I hope he has a good time anyway and I'm sure the other pupils wouldn't have seen the details.

My dd wrote a letter to school saying she didn't want any of her details giving out to him. the headmaster rung and said by law he has to give him any information he wants about DDs education.

She would get an adoption certificate which would replce her birth certificate.

Carmina_Piranha_3

ah, i can see why she would prefer adoption to parental responsibility then.

i think my son forgets on purpose that my husband isn't his biological father. he's one of those kids who ignores unpleasant things and simply chooses not to think about them. just a month after this conversation he said something about DNA and he just carries on as if my husband is his birth father - but he knows that he isn't. these things are hard for kids, bless him.

maybe it's similar for your daughter - she wants to forget about her birth father but doesn't think she can unless it's official.

i don't know anything about adoption - we were going to adopt my son but he refused to change his surname at age 5 and that was 7 years ago. it's different for us though because the birth father isn't around so it's easier for my son not to think about him. he can't remember him at all.

i hope this works out for your daughter, and if adoption's not possible that she starts to feel okay with the situation as it is, and secure in her stepfather's love for her *HUGS*

clairec79

I think the natural father must be contacted and asked, if he refuses to give permission it goes to court and the judge tends to listen to the child if they are of a certain age - I think my husband was 9 or 10 when they did it

sarahlouise210

The process to adopt a child is so complex (even when it is your OWN child!) you will be assessed in all aspects of your life, medical issues will be taken into account, in fact everything in your life will be scrutinised - its ridiculous! If you are granted adoption YOU will be shown on her birth certificate as her adopted mother !! How can this be right? My DD is also approaching 16 and I was wondering if we could adopt her without NF consent ...but the process is so long and complex that it was easier to change her name - it will be sad though when she gets married etc and has to put her NF on her marriage certificate(like I had to!)

Smashing

http://www.adoption.org.uk/information/step_adoption.html

If you are granted adoption YOU will be shown on her birth certificate as her adopted mother !!

This is no longer true.