Engagement Ring

hutless

My flatmate has just got engaged and she moaned (to me, not her fiance) that because her fiance bought the ring from the high street, he paid more than if he had gone to a wholesailer (sp?) or if he had bought off the net. She felt that considering how much he paid, she didnt get the ring she wanted (but that is a seperate story). She had suggested a website to him, www.bluenile.com, and i think she was annoyed he hadnt used it.

I will be proposing to my g/friend in the next 6 months i think and i'm looking for a bit of advice on how much to spend - none of my friends have got engaged so no one to really guide me hugely on how much to pay or where to go and just looking for some thoughts or general advice.

Some info you probably need, I earn about £1500 per month after tax, I'm looking to buy by the end of the year, i have about £300 in savings i can access and i wont be able to save that much until Novembers pay cheque. I have nothing on CC's which have 0% interest till next March so if I wanted to, i could put it on that and pay it back until March. I will be in America from August till November and could buy it over there if people thought that I would get more for my money. My g/friend does not have fancy taste and certainly wont be expecting something massive, but i still want to get her something nice.

Finally, i like the idea of buying just the diamond for her and then having the two of us design the ring band together. Does anyone know anyone who has done this, does anyone have thoughts on this, know how i would do it, etc?

Thanks in advance for any help.

BillScarab

Well to be honest your flatmate sounds like a right miserable, ungrateful mare.

Anway, do you live anywhere near Birmingham? If so go to the Jewellery Quarter and vist one of the manufacturing Jewellers there. I'm sure they could do something to your design. I got my wife's ring from a jeweller there a few years ago and it was much better value than the High Street prices. I also got a good discount for paying cash.

As to how much to spend I was always told one month's salary. The one I got cost £1100 9 years ago which was a little under one month's salary but the insurance valuation from the shop was £2100 so thought that was alright.

Mips

My friend just got married and she chose a ring and had it made - it was an unusual shape and the weddin band is a kind of zig zag that fits in. She loves it and chose a Garnet I think as it changes colour?

Anyways.. why not propose with an empty box, save the money beforehand.. and go together to choose the engagement ring or have one designed

That way if you so wished, you could both get similar Wedding bands designed later on.

onlyroz

Don't know how much you should spend because I don't have an engagement or wedding ring (loathe and detest all forms of jewellry - hubby bought me a bike as an engagement pressie) - but definitely let her choose it herself, after telling her the budget. If she's ungrateful or thinks you're being stingy then perhaps you're marrying the wrong person...

LilMissEmmylou

yes another let her choose herself - i honestly would cry if somebody picked my ring for me. I am too fussy and I would only end up having to pretend to like it and resenting it.

RoxieW

One months salary is the rule of thumb. It is worth putting thought into as she will hopefully be wearing it for the rest of her life.
My OH got my ring from https://www.cooldiamonds.com and its gorgeous and was quite good value. He told them what he wanted and they made it so its individual to me and I've never seen anyone else with it.
I personally think its more romantic to chose the ring yourself and propose with it, so that its a surprise. I probably wouldnt have thought up my ring but I absolutely love it - all the more because OH chose it and put thought into what I'd love. However, you need to be confident of her tastes to do that. If in doubt, you cant go wrong with a diamond solitaire - just make sure its in the gold that she likes ie yellow or white.

BillScarab

Forgot to say my wife chose her engagement ring. I originally proposed with one made of buffalo horn in Tanzania and we got the proper one when we were back in the UK. Mind you she's still got the Buffalo horn one as well.

zzzLazyDaisy

I always thought I would hate it if someone picked my ring for me. But when my ex nipped out to Tesco one day and came home with a ring I was over the moon (it was totally unexpected - and no, he didn't buy it in Tesco!). I was slightly disappointed initially because the ring was not in a style that I would have chosen for myself, but I really loved it when I put it on and I always loved wearing it. I gave him it back when we split up and, sadly, he accepted it. Shame coz I really loved that ring!

RoxieW

PS If you fancy throwing in a trip to new york to propose you could get the trip and ring for the same price as buying the ring over here, thatnks to better value, less tax and a great exchange rate. We bought our wedding rings in tiffanys new york for half the price they would cost in the UK.

Smashing

I would take no notice of 'guidelines' as to what to spend - I think one months salary is a ludricous amount to spend on a ring and I would be terrified to wear something that cost that much.
It may be more of a suprise to buy something and suprise her, but you run the risk of her not liking it. I would want a say in it (if I had a ring - not overly fussed) as I certainly wouldn't want anything like a diamond due to the industry behind it. Sod it, I'd rather have the money.

Idiophreak

I always thought it was supposed to be three months wages?

Anyway, you know her well enough to know what she likes...there's no point spending more than you have to...