Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • Dezza G
    • By Dezza G 7th Jun 17, 5:39 PM
    • 1Posts
    • 0Thanks
    Dezza G
    First steps after relationship breakdown
    • #1
    • 7th Jun 17, 5:39 PM
    First steps after relationship breakdown 7th Jun 17 at 5:39 PM
    hi guys,
    Iím going through a separation and dealing with the inevitable complexities arising from it.
    I intend to seek professional guidance from an appropriate person to support myself through the process. To begin with, I need a realistic understanding of where I stand from a legal perspective, what is involved and an idea of timescales, costs etc.
    Iíve been advised there are some very knowledgeable people here and would really appreciate any assistance or guidance you can give me in taking my first steps.
    Iím trying to work out what to do with regards to the money I put down as the deposit for the family home, sharing responsibility/access rights to the kids, future liabilities and what comes next. All detailed here as briefly as I could be:

    - We have been married for almost 5 years, and within the first year of marriage we bought our own place. I put down the entire £100,000 deposit which I received as an inheritance from my uncle (after our wedding). The house has now also appreciated by £100,000 since purchase.
    For me to move on with my life, I need to get this £100,000 deposit back somehow. Am I entitled to it all? Or will it be subject to an asset split? And are those splits generally 50:50? (All assets have been accrued since the wedding.)
    Releasing the equity would undoubtedly require the selling of the house, and perhaps cause much upheaval for everyone involved.

    - We have a child together, and she also has a child from before we met. She is currently happy for me to have equal access to our child. Whilst she is still agreeable, should I get an agreement formalised? Iím mindful that she may later attempt to use this as a bartering tool especially if the house sale/split of funds turns sour. I understand courts decide based on the childís needs - am I being realistic in hoping for near 50:50 access? This would be possible with my job/location etc and I would prefer this to occasional weekend visits. I have always been very hands-on raising the kids outside of my work schedule.

    - Throughout the marriage, I was the sole/key earner in the household. My partner had occasional part-time jobs but the significant proportion of household income was earned by me.
    Should the separation become more permanent, what would my liabilities be with regards to child support and bills for their household? Currently all bills are covered by me, plus an agreed amount sent each week to meet the childís needs. This is a temporary arrangement we came to immediately after the split. Perhaps this needs to be reviewed at some point too.
    Should we sell the house to release my deposit, how would this affect my contributions to my partner? Would my liability now include rent for them?

    We are currently at informal discussion stages, however with the potential for animosity over the property sale etc, I would like to get some aspects such as access to the child agreed whilst we can agree on something favourable.
    Who should I be looking to to prepare this? Would I need a solicitor? Or is there another suitable organisation/profession who can support me?

    thank you for taking the time to read through and answer my queries
Page 1
    • Guest101
    • By Guest101 8th Jun 17, 2:22 PM
    • 15,147 Posts
    • 14,746 Thanks
    Guest101
    • #2
    • 8th Jun 17, 2:22 PM
    • #2
    • 8th Jun 17, 2:22 PM
    hi guys,
    Iím going through a separation and dealing with the inevitable complexities arising from it.
    I intend to seek professional guidance from an appropriate person to support myself through the process. To begin with, I need a realistic understanding of where I stand from a legal perspective, what is involved and an idea of timescales, costs etc.
    Iíve been advised there are some very knowledgeable people here and would really appreciate any assistance or guidance you can give me in taking my first steps.
    Iím trying to work out what to do with regards to the money I put down as the deposit for the family home, sharing responsibility/access rights to the kids, future liabilities and what comes next. All detailed here as briefly as I could be:

    - We have been married for almost 5 years, and within the first year of marriage we bought our own place. I put down the entire £100,000 deposit which I received as an inheritance from my uncle (after our wedding). The house has now also appreciated by £100,000 since purchase.
    For me to move on with my life, I need to get this £100,000 deposit back somehow. Am I entitled to it all? Or will it be subject to an asset split? And are those splits generally 50:50? (All assets have been accrued since the wedding.)
    Releasing the equity would undoubtedly require the selling of the house, and perhaps cause much upheaval for everyone involved.

    - We have a child together, and she also has a child from before we met. She is currently happy for me to have equal access to our child. Whilst she is still agreeable, should I get an agreement formalised? Iím mindful that she may later attempt to use this as a bartering tool especially if the house sale/split of funds turns sour. I understand courts decide based on the childís needs - am I being realistic in hoping for near 50:50 access? This would be possible with my job/location etc and I would prefer this to occasional weekend visits. I have always been very hands-on raising the kids outside of my work schedule.

    - Throughout the marriage, I was the sole/key earner in the household. My partner had occasional part-time jobs but the significant proportion of household income was earned by me.
    Should the separation become more permanent, what would my liabilities be with regards to child support and bills for their household? Currently all bills are covered by me, plus an agreed amount sent each week to meet the childís needs. This is a temporary arrangement we came to immediately after the split. Perhaps this needs to be reviewed at some point too.
    Should we sell the house to release my deposit, how would this affect my contributions to my partner? Would my liability now include rent for them?

    We are currently at informal discussion stages, however with the potential for animosity over the property sale etc, I would like to get some aspects such as access to the child agreed whilst we can agree on something favourable.
    Who should I be looking to to prepare this? Would I need a solicitor? Or is there another suitable organisation/profession who can support me?

    thank you for taking the time to read through and answer my queries
    Originally posted by Dezza G

    Since you're married the assets will be split in the divorce, so informal arrangements are only temporary.
    • The Maestro
    • By The Maestro 10th Jun 17, 7:41 PM
    • 48 Posts
    • 4 Thanks
    The Maestro
    • #3
    • 10th Jun 17, 7:41 PM
    • #3
    • 10th Jun 17, 7:41 PM
    As far as I understand it, since you have been married for over 3 years, if it went to court, all money and assets would be split. I would not make any difference even if you had received the £100,000 inheritance before the marriage. It also makes very little difference who earned the majority of the money.

    If your wife's child from a previous relationship was supported by you, and not receiving child support from the Dad, you would be liable to pay support for that child as well as your own.

    It depends on how old the children are, but unless they are nearing 16, you will be unlikely to get 50% of the house or any other assets. You stand to lose 60-70% of everything and probably also have to pay spousal maintenance on top especially if your wife is a low earner. This may be time-limited or less likely - forever.

    If the children are nearing 16 you might get a 50/50 split and a 'clean break', i.e. only child support and no spousal maintenance.

    I am not a legal expert tho!
    • Guest101
    • By Guest101 12th Jun 17, 2:14 PM
    • 15,147 Posts
    • 14,746 Thanks
    Guest101
    • #4
    • 12th Jun 17, 2:14 PM
    • #4
    • 12th Jun 17, 2:14 PM
    As far as I understand it, since you have been married for over 3 years, if it went to court, all money and assets would be split. I would not make any difference even if you had received the £100,000 inheritance before the marriage. It also makes very little difference who earned the majority of the money.

    If your wife's child from a previous relationship was supported by you, and not receiving child support from the Dad, you would be liable to pay support for that child as well as your own. - Incorrect

    It depends on how old the children are, but unless they are nearing 16, you will be unlikely to get 50% of the house or any other assets. - rubbish You stand to lose 60-70% of everything and probably also have to pay spousal maintenance - almost never ordered on top especially if your wife is a low earner. This may be time-limited or less likely - forever.

    If the children are nearing 16 you might get a 50/50 split and a 'clean break', i.e. only child support and no spousal maintenance.

    I am not a legal expert tho!
    Originally posted by The Maestro


    Definitely not a legal expert - So why are you posting scaremongering?
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

4,309Posts Today

8,673Users online

Martin's Twitter
  • Shana tova umetuka - a sweet Jewish New Year to all celebrating. I won't be online the rest of t'week, as I take the time to be with family

  • Dear Steve. Please note doing a poll to ask people's opinion does not in itself imply an opinion! https://t.co/UGvWlMURxy

  • Luciana is on the advisory board of @mmhpi (we have MPs from most parties) https://t.co/n99NAxGAAQ

  • Follow Martin