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Money Moral Dilemma: Should we pay our sister's share of our parents' gift?
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Former_MSE_Nick
Posts: 463 Forumite
This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...
Two years before our parents' 40th wedding anniversary my three sisters and I agreed to each contribute £250 towards a holiday for them. However, a few weeks before, one said that because she was on benefits (she had been for years) she could only save up £100. Should the rest of us make up the shortfall?
Two years before our parents' 40th wedding anniversary my three sisters and I agreed to each contribute £250 towards a holiday for them. However, a few weeks before, one said that because she was on benefits (she had been for years) she could only save up £100. Should the rest of us make up the shortfall?
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Comments
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Ooh this is a tricky one.
I know everyone should put in a equal share towards the holiday.
But £250 is a lot of money to someone on benefits with no other source of income.
However your sister has offered £100 so she is willing to contribute which is nice of her.
Could a slightly cheaper holiday not be found?.
That might be helpful if its possible you could find one.Britain is great but Manchester is greater0 -
Depends. If she's genuine about her situation and struggling, I'd help.
On the other hand, if she's always got money for alcohol and cigarettes, I wouldn't0 -
Yes, as Burlington has said. If she is genuinely hard up, pay up and save her pride. If she's a waster, leave it at her £100.
However, you don't want a family argument to spoil your parents' holiday.Member #14 of SKI-ers club
Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.
(Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)0 -
Did you really all agree on £250 each? Or did the two of you who are better off present the idea as a done deal?
Oh, hang on, we don't get responses or further details on these threads, do we? Shame, this is the first one that might actually be a dilemma!0 -
This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...
Two years before our parents' 40th wedding anniversary my three sisters and I agreed we would each contribute £250 towards a holiday for them. However a few weeks before, one of them told us that because she was on benefits (she has been for years) she could only save up £100. Should the rest of us make up the shortfall?
She had 2 years to save £250. Which equates to £2.40 per week. Benefits or not, that is not going to break the bank. She clearly doesn't think much of your parents if she couldn't even sacrifice such a small amount, especially given the huge advance notice!
If there are 4 of you in total (sisters) then the missing £150 should be split 3 ways so the 3 sisters not on benefits pay £50 each so as the gift of the holiday is not ruined and then ask the 1 sister who only contributed £100 to pay you all back the full sum of £150 at a mutually convenient date.I'm a Board Guide on the Credit Cards, Loans, Credit Files & Ratings boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge threads there. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com0 -
Yes, an extra £50 each from the three reasonably well off siblings would be an acceptable solution.This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com0
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Indeed, being on benefits alone means nothing. Some people on benefits have more disposable income than some just over the threshold to claim any.Depends. If she's genuine about her situation and struggling, I'd help.0 -
"on benefits" shouldn't be used as a carte blanche "I've no money" get out card.
Question is ... is she a single with a £70/week income to run a whole household.... or is she one of those octo-types with a gazillion kids, designer handbags, holidays and £30-50k income per year.
Even on benefits, she could contribute. Even on £70/week, it'd be possible for her to, say, pay you back at £1/week over the next five years.0 -
Candyapple wrote: »She had 2 years to save £250. Which equates to £2.40 per week. Benefits or not, that is not going to break the bank. She clearly doesn't think much of your parents if she couldn't even sacrifice such a small amount, especially given the huge advance notice!
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If she's been living solely on benefits for 2 years she must be ill or disabled so won't be living on much at all, these benefits are not generous whatever the daily mail tells you. She may have saved the money diligently or tried to but had to spend it on essentials like fixing the boiler or washing machine or replacing broken things.
If she's only gone on benefits recently then it's most likely basic JSA her outgoings won't match her income and she'll be really struggling. Same applies. Don't be so quick to judge.0 -
Candyapple wrote: »She had 2 years to save £250. Which equates to £2.40 per week. Benefits or not, that is not going to break the bank. She clearly doesn't think much of your parents if she couldn't even sacrifice such a small amount, especially given the huge advance notice!
If there are 4 of you in total (sisters) then the missing £150 should be split 3 ways so the 3 sisters not on benefits pay £50 each so as the gift of the holiday is not ruined and then ask the 1 sister who only contributed £100 to pay you all back the full sum of £150 at a mutually convenient date.
So you're on benefits, money is relentless tight. You religiously put away 2.40 every week but after a year of this your boiler /cooker goes bust and you need to replace and the only savings you got are your parents holiday fund... meanwhile, your better off siblings (and maybe the parents) are off on their 2nd hols/ 2nd car etc.
We also don't know the parents circs - it maybe they have far more than the person on benefits in the first place.
Was the 'agree equal shares of £250' really agreed or was the 'poorer' one put in a position where they were too humiliated to say I can't afford this? Families who are kind do not put each other in this position and are hyper sensitive to other people not necessarily having the same finances (and that includes family members working full time who still don't have any spare at the end of the month.)I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once0
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