Renovations and Repayments.

AlexLK · 28 April 2016 at 11:55PM

Ali-OK wrote: »

Oh no about the car

And Mrs LK's comments

Fire up Excel and get your budget/bills in there. Can have a running total and minus the bills and add any income, it's easy to keep track of, just needs updating and checking against internet banking (a daily habit of mine ).

I've never had anything like that happen before and it was certainly deliberate. Really don't understand why it happened, to be honest.

Can't ever seem to do the right thing so far as my wife is concerned. Sometimes I wonder if she wants me to give up.

Do you write everything you spend into your Excel sheet? I have finally set a day to day one up. Probably sounds awful but I'm keeping a track on what my wife spends / takes in cash.

newgirly wrote: »

Would a regular meeting with your dw help at all, so it's more of a joint descision making process? She would then be undermining her own plans of she overspent?

I've suggested something similar before but apparently it's my job as I've the time, even though it's her money.

One day she'll tell me she really wants to make the house a nice place to live and pay more off the mortgage, the next she's taking cash out of our joint account and spending money. Don't think she has too much of a problem with undermining her own plans, to be honest.

AlexLK · 29 April 2016 at 2:53PM

Spent a little time moving some money around to put a little more into my savings. Up to a total of £2,300 for the year. Shockingly bad compared to last year, I just can't find the motivation to make any money.

My parents are going to Spain for a week after the bank holiday. If my son didn't have to go to school, I'd be quite tempted to join them though it's not long before we're going on holiday.

I'm having a NSD but wife goes out for dinner / drinks with a couple of her work colleagues every Friday night.

At the moment I want to face our responsibilities and get the house finished and paid for. Don't suppose it's my house anymore than it's my money, though. :rotfl:

Ali-OK · 29 April 2016 at 4:16PM

Car envy or a lout at a guess. Frustrating and costly in equal measure.

Every transaction (in or out) is on my spreadsheet so I always know what the balance is or will be come end of month etc. I log all my CC spends in a separate sheet so I know the bill and constantly update that in next months budget. All helps me project mortgage OPs, savings, etc.

Old fashioned compared to using YNAB but works for me!

Glad you've set something up and just tweak to find what's best for you.

Have you got a joint financial goal with Mrs LK? A 5 min update showing her the sheet regularly might help her to see for herself where the money goes without you saying it....

AlexLK · 29 April 2016 at 9:54PM

Ali-OK wrote: »

Car envy or a lout at a guess. Frustrating and costly in equal measure.

Every transaction (in or out) is on my spreadsheet so I always know what the balance is or will be come end of month etc. I log all my CC spends in a separate sheet so I know the bill and constantly update that in next months budget. All helps me project mortgage OPs, savings, etc.

Old fashioned compared to using YNAB but works for me!

Glad you've set something up and just tweak to find what's best for you.

Have you got a joint financial goal with Mrs LK? A 5 min update showing her the sheet regularly might help her to see for herself where the money goes without you saying it....

I reported it to the police but I doubt they'll catch the culprit.

Thanks, that sounds good. Do you write what the transaction was for or just what comes up on your online banking? Sorry for the all the questions.

I want to be able to know when bills arrive, what goes out and to be able to project OPs / savings / even what we can spend on a holiday or something else. To be honest, I've had enough with feeling out of control so far as money is concerned. I've become better at dealing with business finances (admittedly because my father won't let me not be) and think now that the personal ones could benefit from a similar overhaul.

IIRC the YNAB is quite expensive after the free trial period?

As for joint financial goals with my wife, she'll tell me she wants to finish the house / get it paid for fairly regularly but then will tell me there's no point as we'll end up at my parents' anyway. Then it becomes her telling me she wishes she never got married and she wants to move away and be by herself. So, not really worth trying to discuss with her.

Ali-OK · 29 April 2016 at 10:36PM

My spreadsheet is set out with columns for:

Date - Who - For What - Amount In - Amount Out - Running Total

(example)

29/4 - Self - Salary - 2500.00 - - 2500.00
1/5 - Tesco - Mobi Phones - 0 - £15.00 - 2,485.00

and so on.

I've used simple calc formula to automate (so running total cell + amount in - amount out = current balance) and so on.

You can create sheets in advance easily with alot of the outgoings that are DDs and once the payment has gone I put an 'x' in the next column and then add in extra rows etc as ad-hoc bills, cash etc as you go along.

I didn't get along with YNAB at all and stuck with my spreadsheet system since joining here in 2006, so it's got quite elaborate now - a table on the same page with savings/in/out/total, plus the CC spends table. Start with the basics for now and see how you go

The idea is to be ahead of online banking, ie. if I write/send a cheque, that goes into my spreadsheet and is accounted for before it shows up. Granted that's rare, these days transactions show up quickly, but I also put forecasted spends in too - annual car insurance, house insurance, etc in the relevant months and it gives me a view across the year where I need to hold money back or can put more into a savings account.

You'll definitely feel in control once you're up and running with this (from a self confessed control freak

)

AlexLK · 29 April 2016 at 10:57PM

Thanks Ali.

That's all a big help and makes a lot of sense. I'll set up a different sheet for each month and add income as well as expenditure. All the "regular" direct debits feel completely random at the moment and I forget about insurances until I get a letter through the post saying it's due for renewal. The personal finances are chaotic and my control freak side (which I ought keep in check) doesn't like the unknown.

Seems I've procrastinated enough, saying I'll set one up next month or wait until the new year or until my wife is "on board". No time like the present, really.

My online banking is often a few days behind and I forget what was bought with £x. As I am now checking my online banking, it's very frustrating when I can't work out what the outgoing £x was for. The problem is I'll need to start asking my wife what she's spent per day and I know she won't like that. :mad:

There's not a chance she'll pay all the bills jointly then split what's left to spend as each of us wishes. She'd rather we struggle to pay the bills at the end of the month. Had to admit to my father I couldn't go out to dinner with my cousin and her family as we had to borrow from our savings to pay for some day to day expenses towards the end of this month. All paid back now but father once again thinks I'm being irresponsible which only leads to arguments about him believing I cannot be trusted with any amount of money.

Ali-OK · 29 April 2016 at 11:15PM

You're hooked already

and spot on with a sheet per month (double click the sheet tab at the bottom and put your MMM-YY in for each one as well). Little things like that make it so quick and easy to see/move between months

You can copy the whole sheet and it's layout and paste into all your months as well. Shout if you need any 'how to' info.

Hmm with Mrs LK - my suggestion would be she has a separate bank account into which personal spends money can go for her from the joint and she uses that. It'll ensure your bills are covered and she'd have to monitor her own spending so as not to go overdrawn.

Either that or there has to be a grown up conversation and agreement on a personal spending limit - otherwise you'll end up with ongoing conflict of you trying to manage money that you're not aware is being spent until afterwards. My DB had this issue with his wife and ended up going the separate account route, but as he was/is the main earner a little easier to call the shots. It's harder in your position but hope you can sort it amicably

AlexLK · 29 April 2016 at 11:29PM

Ali-OK wrote: »

You're hooked already and spot on with a sheet per month (double click the sheet tab at the bottom and put your MMM-YY in for each one as well). Little things like that make it so quick and easy to see/move between months

You can copy the whole sheet and it's layout and paste into all your months as well. Shout if you need any 'how to' info.

Hmm with Mrs LK - my suggestion would be she has a separate bank account into which personal spends money can go for her from the joint and she uses that. It'll ensure your bills are covered and she'd have to monitor her own spending so as not to go overdrawn.

Either that or there has to be a grown up conversation and agreement on a personal spending limit - otherwise you'll end up with ongoing conflict of you trying to manage money that you're not aware is being spent until afterwards. My DB had this issue with his wife and ended up going the separate account route, but as he was/is the main earner a little easier to call the shots. It's harder in your position but hope you can sort it amicably

I was thinking I'd start a new spreadsheet entirely for a new year.

Thanks re. copy / paste. No doubt I'll have some questions.

Starting to try to use computers to my advantage. One of the reasons I'm considering going down the Apple route is apparently if you've an iPhone, iPad and MacBook they all "talk" to each other and you've a diary / schedule which displays on each one despite only one being updated. Expensive to get set up, though.

My wife is only willing to have separate bank accounts if she gets all her income, I have what I've earnt and we split the bills equally. I cannot afford to do this, don't want to ask my parents for more money as I appreciate their reasons and she doesn't want me to try for a new career. Nor would she support me whilst training. Perhaps says more about me than it does about her, though.

ETA: It's got so bad recently that I half wish my wife would find a job somewhere else, we'd sell the house, my son and I would live with my parents and she'd buy somewhere else. I still hope she'd come back after a few years of growing up and we could spend weekends and holidays together but do wonder if a break would help. Never thought I'd be saying this.

Yet again I'm going to be waiting up for her wondering when she'll be back and what she's doing.

Ali-OK · 29 April 2016 at 11:51PM

As this seems a 'no win' situation, can you ask her how she'd manage it if the roles were reversed? It'll either force a re-think on her part and hopefully a workable solution or an answer you probably don't want to hear...but are alluding to in that last post

I like my iPad but haven't gone down all @pple products route - I use a proper diary still! Emails still show on all my gadgets and that's enough for me..but then I'm not even into apps yet

hiddenshadow · 30 April 2016 at 8:18AM

AlexLK wrote: »

IIRC the YNAB is quite expensive after the free trial period?

You can still buy the "Classic" version here for £30: http://store.steampowered.com/app/227320/

The new version (which is all online, so you can't use it if your internet goes out) is $50/year recurring.

The one thing I love about YNAB (that I struggle to replicate with a spreadsheet) is the combination of zero-based budgeting (giving every pound a job, regardless of whether that's paying the mortgage, sitting in savings waiting to repair the roof, dinners out, etc) and the ability to access it on the go. If I'm at work and feel like I'd like to go out to eat for lunch rather than eat leftovers, I can check my personal spends money and see if I can afford it (as it's the end of the month,the answer is "no"

). If DH goes grocery shopping on his own at the weekend, I know how much is left in the grocery budget to spend on our T3sc0 delivery this week.

If you can get your wife on board with the finances in general, I personally have found that YNAB is really helpful for keeping you proactively aware of your finances as they happen, rather than reacting to things that have happened. It does require discipline in checking against what you planned to spend on something (groceries/lunches out/what-have-you) verses what you have already spent, and either not spending if you don't have anything left in that pot or consciously deciding that you want X more than you want [new roof/OP/whatever]. DH is so much more aware of our finances now, just because they're always there on his phone (I still manage the budget).

</soapbox>

All that said, a spreadsheet sounds like a brilliant start.

You can get a lot of insight in how/why you're [as the LK household] spending your money. Plus there are all the pretty ways to represent things via graphs. :rotfl:

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