Let's start with the basic's....Cleaning & Cooking.

Kayalana99 · 27 December 2014 at 2:48AM

Well guys, I don't tend to post in this part of the forum very often but quite frankly...I need motivation, support and guidance if you are willing to give it.

To explain, my Dad is a workaholic and what I can remember of my childhood of him was mostly him at an office desk. My Mum basically raised us but whilst she's fun, caring and wouldn't hurt a fly..she is an extremely messy person & she can't(or won't?) cook.

I feel like I am 50% my Mum and 50% my Dad, I have my Dad's work ethic and my Mums laziness I've been trying to change my ways but it's been such a slow progress and I think I just need a good jolt.

My house is a mess, I can cook basics (cottage pie with carrots and peas is probs my limit?) and my situation is I have two kids under 3 & the OH(also don't forget the business) so I don't have much time on my hands but I need to sort myself out as I am turning into everything I don't want to me...a messy workaholic -.-

What would perhaps help is hearing people's routines on a daily/weekly basis cleaning wise? I think the cooking side is going to rely on me sitting down and getting a meal plan together but I want to be able to post my progress.

Today with all the new toys we got for Xmas I decided that I needed to do something to keep things organised as every thing has so many bits to it and they were all going to get lost so I got some boxes down from my office and put sets into different ones which all went in the travel cot in the front room that before is basically only used for storing the toys in that they had already.

The lounge is basically tidy, but the floors need cleaning and I will need to wash the curtains and my OH did most of the kitchen today but it's a joint dining room one and that is full of stuff ATM so that will be next priority..but then their is our room, the office and my eldest sons room to do (he is sleeping in our room ATM so it's started to fill with stuff) ...general de cluttering..my mum is a bit of a hoarder so I have that in me to but will have to start binning or selling!

So steps for tomorrow will be curtains and floor of the lounge at very least :-) I'll see how I get on as we are having to take a trip up to my Mums as she has just moved house and needs some doors fixing and then we have Asda and town to do as well...whilst most likey not being able to use the car because of the snow. :eek:

Sorry for rambling.

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lessonlearned · 27 December 2014 at 7:23AM

And breathe........I can almost hear the panic coming over the ether.

You sound overwhelmed, which is very common at this time of.year. sounds like a case of Christmasitis - just too much of everything.

For the time being forget about cleaning as such, especially whilst you still have the Christmas decorations up. Just try and keep the lounge reasonably tidy.and the kitchen workable. Get outside a bit with the kids and have some fun in the snow and de stress. The house will still be there next week.

Do you have any storage boxes. Each Christmas I used to givemy kids a large plastic storage crate just for the new toys so they could keep them all together. A quick tidy up at the end of the day kept the worst of the mess down.

Soft lighting Also helps. When the kids have gone to bed, just pile stuff into the new boxes and turn down the lights.

Try and just relax for a few days and enjoy some quality family time.

When are you planning to Fire up the business again.

Before you do it might be worth taking a couple of days to do some Decluttering and organising so that you can work from a place of relative peace and calm.

Did you get the childcare issues sorted out, are you still trying to cope with toddlers and running your business without help. It really does sound like you could do with an extra pair of hands, even if it's just for a few weeks to help you get back on top.

Maybe it's time fo A bit of a new year review.

Re the food, keep it simple.

If you can manage to cook a shepherds pie, then there is nothing wrong with your cooking skills and you are doing well because that is quite a time consuming dish. Do you have a slow cooker. Try a few simple casseroles, they are easy and healthy.

I bought my son a cookery book with dvd for Christmas, it was only £3 from Sainsburys and is aimed at novice cooks. . The book has lots of pictures so you can see how things are meant to turn out, and the dvd takes you through all the steps.

A good way is to try and learn one new recipe each week to build up a repertoire.

When making a casserole or something like a chilli or Spag bol then if you make double quantities you can freeze some portions for home made ready meals for those crazy busy days.

Try a few simple snack type meals, you don't need to cook full dinner every day.Have something on toast once a week, then make one day a soup and crusty bread meal followed by an easy pudding to fill you up such as a sponge pudding you can pop in the microwave. Good old egg, chips and beans now and again.

It's all about stepping back and forward planning, and of course getting some help when you need it. Try and learn to delegate.

above all try and relax and enjoy your time with your little ones. Toddlers are a hAndfull and rather messy but it's just a phase. Before you know it they will be at school and you wil have a bit more time. Enjoy them now whilst you can, they grow up so fast so dont miss out on all the fun fretting I over a messy house.

YORKSHIRELASS · 27 December 2014 at 9:17AM

Hi, you will find motivation, support and guidance in abundance here! Have you had a read of the flylady thread? The flylady principles are that you do a little every day, breaking the housework into chunks rather than seeing it as a massive task that takes you all of Saturday to sort out.

I have a weekly cleaning rota, which is usually:
Monday living room, hall and stairs
Tuesday kitchen, utility and ds loo
Wednesday, our bedroom and landing
Thursday, bathroom and study
Friday, kids bedrooms

So even if I have had a tough day and I am tired I will spend some time on the allocated room for that day. Even if you only manage half an hour you will be amazed at how you start to catch up.

Decluttering makes this so much easier though. Try to see tidying and cleaning as separate tasks. In an ideal world tidying should be something that you do all the time as you go along and if you dont have anywhere to put things that makes it impossible. Not easy with little ones I know!

Keeping on top of things and finishing one task before starting another is also a good idea. For example, every morning when I get out of the shower I take a cleaning wipe and swish the whole bathroom. It takes me minutes and means that the bathroom always looks OK. When I bring a load of washing in off the line it is ironed, folded and put away there and then. I binned my ironing basket ages ago.

As for cooking, there are loads of ideas on here for easy family meals. Mealplanning really helps and stops you getting home from work shattered and realising you dont have a clue what everyone is having for tea.

I hope this doesnt sounds like I am preaching. My house was a disaster zone when my kids were little and it used to really stress me out. Its hard when you are juggling work and family but when I discovered this forum I realised that it was possible to sort it all out and it made me a lot happier.

skintmum2012 · 27 December 2014 at 11:10AM

Hey I have a 6 year old a 4 year old and a 1 year old O and the Furbaby a Cavalier king Charles. And our house is a MESS I have the 1 year old with me all the time of course but the 4 year old is only part time at school :S The problem with my house is that there is clutter everywhere and to make things look nice I need to get rid of the clutter a hell of a job when I have got all the children making a mess as I go along say I tidy the Kitchen while I do that they have destroyed the living room. They have also drawn all over the walls which I need to sort as we want to sell this place this year. What I am going to do is come the new year I am going to pick a room a day and get it to the point where it's clutter free and a little more tidy. As soon as it's up to scratch I am going to start fly ladying again. We shall have to give each other support in our quest to get a tidy home in the new year

msgnomey · 27 December 2014 at 11:28AM

Not got any words of wisdom except to say don't beat yourself up about it and try to do a little each day. I follow a blog called "365 less things" and the lady on there (Colleen) threw away/got rid of one thing everyday. It's a small amount to do but added up over a year it added up!

Good luck
xxx

iammumtoone · 27 December 2014 at 12:31PM

Can I join you? I also think that like you posting once a day on what I have done will help me. I am in a desperate situation, I was going to start a thread of my own but didn't as I don't want people to criticise me (that certainly wont help me) some on here can be cruel. I know my situation is all my fault, I could go on about how I didn't have the best of childhood but so don't a lot of people they don't end up like me.

My house is a compete mess, think off a cross between how clean is your house and the hoarder next door. My sons dad is taking him away because of this I am so sad I don't blame him for doing so I know its for the best I just can't cope at the moment with work life or anything but I cry all the time because it is me that has done this it is my fault I might lose my son.

I will be reading with interest all the helpful advise I know you will get. I have heard all the ideas before about doing a little a day but that is too late for me, that stage has passed I need to just get on with it and work so hard to get it clean/de-clutter to get my son back, believe me there is no greater motivation than that. He is still with me until the end of the year so I am not sure how much I can get done whilst he is here (he wants constant attention whilst he is awake and by the time he goes to sleep I am so tired I go to bed as well.) I am also not at home at the moment my dad has gone away so we have moved in there where it is clean better for my son but it doesn't enable me to start to clean up.

I will go home tomorrow night and must do some whilst ds is upstairs in his room. I will do the hall as that way I can hear him when he wants me I will report back on how I get on.

Someone mentioned fly ladying that is my ultimate goal to get to the stage were I can start to follow that plan.

Good luck OP I will be reading how you are getting on.

Could I please ask that no one quotes my post as I might delete it

iammumtoone · 27 December 2014 at 2:28PM

OP regarding the cooking. I suggest you look to purchase a cook book for students as these tend to be easy to follow nothing complicated and use simple ingredients. Some of them also have detailed instructions on basic procedures that most 'adult' cook books assume you know.

Broomstick · 27 December 2014 at 3:53PM

Iammumtoone, I think you are brave posting.

This sounds a bit silly but one thing I started doing when I began to tackle seemingly out of control cluttered spaces in our old house was to make a load of business card - sized labels saying 'Decluttered' in bright red. Every time a space (table, desk, shelf, chair, corner of room got cleared it got a label attached to it (using blutack, sello, safety pin etc whatever worked on the surface). Once the label was there that space was not allowed to acquire any clutter at all. The labels stayed put for ages until the job was done.

It worked in a range of ways. It told my sons what was happening so they could avoid messing those areas up again and it reminded me of the same thing. Most importantly though, it was a constant affirmation of the fact that decluttering was happening and that every little that I did helped because 'every little' was marked by a new label. It turned something that felt too hard into something to celebrate.

B x

PS when the cards weren't needed they got put into the recycling.:D

katkin · 27 December 2014 at 4:14PM

Kayalana99 you have taken the first step posting her and wanting to make a change - you should pat yourself on the back for that and be kind to yourself

Small bay steps are the way forward and trying not to set yourself up to fail by expecting to much too quickly.

Getting rid of clutter and unnecessary things really helps. For the things left look at reorganising them differently. Anything that can be put into baskets and shelves behind closed doors / drawers works for me.

I look at housework as 3 themes - necessary cleaning for hygiene, nice to have tidiness / dust free and then the "Martha Stewart" phase of staging and setting up cushions to look nice, books displayed prettily etc etc. There's many weeks I don't achieve the 3rd theme

Hence I prioritise the first, which usually helps the second.

It's important not to get overwhelmed and congratulate yourself for achieving the small stuff. Life's to short to worry about perfection in the home. Enjoying your family and simple comforts is much more important.

Kayalana99 · 27 December 2014 at 6:31PM

Thank you for all your advice I really do appreciate it, I've literally been out the house all day and only just came back tired and wanting to put my feet up but after reading through this I am raring to go so first things first I'm going to start tidying the bedroom or at least bringing all the clothes down. >.>

I was quite proud of myself as I don't really buy anything for the house but I got a pop up laundry basket, a bath mat and a little storage thing for the bathroom...turns out the LB only comes up to my knee so I'm not sure whether to take it back or use it temporary in the spirit of things as who knows when I will get another one...I will wait till the bathroom has been cleaned top to bottom before placing them in though so a bit more motivation to get that one sorted.

LL - Thank you for popping over, I don't have any storage boxes just card board ones I would normally send things to post in...but temporarily they will do and as I have the travel cot to put them in it stops the little one from emptying every box as soon as I fill it.

The business won't start again until 1st Jan, but as for childcare I *should* be ok now as you know I have been ridiculously busy but now Xmas is over sales should drop to normal 3-4 hours a day work (at a guess) will see how I get on :-). I don't think I will ever go over board with the cleaning as it's just not me but I need the basics to be drilled in to me stuff like making the bed unless the sheets have just been washed does not even cross my mind on a day to day basis for a start.

YL - I know a lot of people swear by flylady, and perhaps I did myself in as I cheated as when I started it I did the first two shining sink days but had a peep at a day in the future and (to me) the list seemed extreme and on a schedule of someone who was at home all day? (Which I realise I am but with two kids and a business I don't really know what time I'll have free day to day) Bearing in mind it was just a passing thought and I can't remember what was actually on the list now.

More then happy for anyone to join in and post their progress

IAMT - You do seem really stressed, is their anyone that could look after LO for you to have a good clear out? I find it quite easy to keep the lounge clean because that's the main room I spend with kids. I find it hard not to blame the parents for how I am I hate to admit....I mean OK my house is a mess because of me...but no one taught me how to be any different and whilst the simplest things come naturally to people I feel like what should of been drilled to be at a young age hasn't and now at 23, I feel like I am only just finding my feet... my house was a lot worse when I first moved out at 19 but I didn't have kids then and it was just us and it was all I had ever known but it's not right for kids to live like that...just think that if you start sorting yourself out now you are not only doing it for you..but so your son can learn from example and not repeat the same mistakes but I DO believe that I can change. It must really be hard being a single parent though at least at the end of the day I get OH to help with kids and tea...

please stay with us and hopefully you'll find your feet to.

I like the idea of the 3 stages...I can't see myself really getting to the third until the kids are older though an even then it's not really me. I'm just not one of those people who will put 4 extra cushions on the bed to make it look nice in the day. (Not saying that's a bad thing)

Right...
To do..Tidy Bedroom & get a wash on, as I've been out all day I will leave washing the lounge floor etc till tomorrow I don't think we have any plans perhaps I can convince OH to have a day in cleaning

I know it's the hoildays but I should get as much done as poss while he is at home (till 2nd Jan) and I have help with kids then it's just keeping on top of things....

Oh and LL I think again, no I don't have a slow cooker and I wouldn't know where to start with a casserole! I think it's just a pot with meat and veg?? We will be shopping tonight so I will google recipes lol :-)

Kayalana99 · 31 December 2014 at 7:17PM

Hi guys,

I wanted to get everything sorted for the new years but I didn't realise just how much their was to do...I need to keep on top of things more.

The house has turned into more of a tip the last few days as I've been sorting through everything and it just looked like it was getting worse...stuff was everywhere but my OH did some tip runs today and finally things are looking better :-) I've got through lots of washing, the kitchen is near on spotless, the bathroom floors been mopped and our bedroom just needs a hoover...still have my office to tackle and my sons room although that won't take long just needs a tidy and the whole of downstairs floor need mopping.

I'm actually quite proud of my kitchen ATM :-) ...you really don't realise how long it takes to do things. I have a pile of baby clothes up to my window sil of baby clothes I no longer need....I can't believe how many we have I never used to buy any as family was always buying them for me and I just can't get over how big this pile is...it's only up to 12months and I already got rid of some 0-6 ones (although some are in that age bracket to.)

Also managed to pick up a laundry basket from Asda for £5...and it's a decent size one to..if your in need I would suggest having a look...I've decided we have to many clothes so actually do need to get another wardrobe and need OH to have a clear out of some of his.

I've not really done much on looking for new meals, but we did have a more varied meal list this week ;

Eggs, chips and beans. (We ate out once this week so have crossed this off and yes was someones idea from above aha

)
Toad in the hole (Done)
Chicken Roast dinner (Done)
Spag Bol + cheese
Curry
Fish Fingers pasta beans
Pizza Night. (Using stuff brought in not a takeaway)

I desperately need to get on top of my work load now so I am done for the night with cleaning but hopefully I will find time tomorrow to mop all downstairs at the very least.

If anyone else is joining in I'd be interested to know how you're getting on.

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Let's start with the basic's....Cleaning & Cooking.

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