Graduation - Did you go?

studentuk1 · 11 May 2014 at 8:40PM

Did you go to your graduation ceremony if you went to university?

I'll have mine in a few months (grades permitting), and I really do not want to go. I didn't particularly enjoy university, or the people on the course, and am so happy it's now over and I can move on.

I couldn't think of anything worse than going back for a day, and bringing together my divorced parents, however both my parents really want to get that photo and have their 'proud' moment, and I feel like I shouldn't be selfish and should give that to them.

Did you go to yours?
Am I being selfish towards my parents if I do not go?

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daisiegg · 11 May 2014 at 8:44PM

I went but there is no rule saying you must go if you really don't want to.

marywooyeah · 11 May 2014 at 8:48PM

I went even though I was upset at my grade ( I narrowly missed out on a first, by 4 flaming marks!!!!)

I was glad to mark four years of hard work, but it was hard watching all my friends collecting firsts while I got a s**tty 2:1 and I left the ceremony upset.

If you haven't enjoyed the course or the people, consider how you may feel sitting at the ceremony in the gown and hat (which costs about £50 to hire), collecting your certificate and posing for photos.

If it's going to make you upset, save yourself the time, money and upset and don't go. You're not being selfish, your parents are being selfish by placing their wishes above your own feelings.

Do what you feel is right for you, and good luck with the rest of your degree! x

pinkduvetdiva · 11 May 2014 at 8:57PM

I went to mine last July, and I wouldn't have missed it for the world! You might be able to just hire your gown, get the pics done with your parents and then go home without actually going to the ceremony. xxx

Nicki · 11 May 2014 at 9:01PM

Don't mean to be picky Mary but in most UK universities each class of degree is a 10 mark spread. So unless yours was very odd you didn't "narrowly miss" a first, you got a solid 2:1. I was 2 marks off a first when I did my degree but that just made it a good 2:1 not "nearly a first".

OP I went to my graduation and really enjoyed it but I loved my student days and it was a real celebration. My brother didn't graduate in person and my parents were really upset for a longer time about missing it. If your parents supported you through university either financially or emotionally maybe take their feelings into account before you make a final decision.

liney · 11 May 2014 at 9:02PM

I wasn't fussed about going, but was told by everyone i'd regret it if I didn't. Cost me a small fortune, but I do have a picture...

[Deleted User] · 11 May 2014 at 9:03PM

I went. I wasn't bothered either way about going or not going. My parents wanted to attend, so we went. If they'd not been bothered, I'd not have attended.

If I'd really not wanted to go though I wouldn't have, especially if I was going to feel upset or miserable - I had a great day in the end.

bride2be2012 · 11 May 2014 at 9:03PM

I felt the same way about uni as you do. I went to my graduation ceremony, but only the ceremony and not the reception afterwards, I went for a meal with family afterwards (then went out partying with my friends in the evening lol!). It didn't upset me going, but I did feel a bit upset seeing other peoples pics, posing with all their uni friends, where as I didn't have that. If you really don't want to go, then don't, I know a few people who never went to theirs for various reasons.

With regards to feeling selfish towards your parents, I think if a lot would depend on how much your parents supported you through university (financially or otherwise). My dad never went to a single parents evening or school prize giving, dance recital, etc (usually working), but he went to my graduation as he and my mum had supported me throughout the course and was very proud of what his (not so) little girl had achieved.

studentuk1 · 11 May 2014 at 9:04PM

marywooyeah wrote: »

I went even though I was upset at my grade ( I narrowly missed out on a first, by 4 flaming marks!!!!)

I was glad to mark four years of hard work, but it was hard watching all my friends collecting firsts while I got a s**tty 2:1 and I left the ceremony upset.

If you haven't enjoyed the course or the people, consider how you may feel sitting at the ceremony in the gown and hat (which costs about £50 to hire), collecting your certificate and posing for photos.

If it's going to make you upset, save yourself the time, money and upset and don't go. You're not being selfish, your parents are being selfish by placing their wishes above your own feelings.

Do what you feel is right for you, and good luck with the rest of your degree! x

I'm just waiting on my dissertation result which I handed in last week. I'd be more than happy with a 2:1, heck I'd even be happy with a 2:2. Thankfully I can't get a third anymore as I got quite good grades in my exams in January.

Thanks for the replies.

shop-to-drop · 11 May 2014 at 9:04PM

You should go for your parents. I didn't go as I had enough of the stress and was disappointed with the whole experience but I felt terrible when my mum told me years later and after my dad's death how much he would have liked to go to the ceremony. I was the only one in my family to attend Uni. They were proud however well I did.:(

WolfSong2000 · 11 May 2014 at 9:05PM

I didn't go to my undergrad graduation and don't regret it at all. I then went on to do a masters and agreed with my parents that I would attend that graduation so they could have their "moment". I do't regret not attending my undergrad...attending the post-grad was okay, but I didn't like the expense of it all (renting gown, etc). At the end of the day it's up to you. If you don't think you'll enjoy it, don't go.

Graduation - Did you go?

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