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Xmas dilemma
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downnotout
Posts: 606 Forumite
Hi all, both mrsDNO and myself are finding it very difficult to manage this year, I'm a student nurse and I am still awaiting my bursary to be awarded 
they say it will be January 2nd before its due to be processed. Added to this my mrsDNO is on maternity leave, and although she works for the NHS and we is lucky to get occupational maternity leave, we are basically looking at funding Xmas and living costs on half our usual income. We have lines of credit with a High APR credit card and a Littlewoods account with nearly 1k to spend, but ideally we do not want to use these. We have 3 children (8,6 and 10 weeks) the two older kids want everything that was ever made in china for Christmas. But we have set a budget and we are basically up to it. Most of their toys have been from home bargains save for a ps3 game, and although it doesn't look like a mountain of presents, will it really matter? Come boxing day will they sit there and think Santa is tight? Or will they be more fascinated with the boxes as per usual. We genuinely do not know what to get them, it seems that they have most things children of their age have or want. Would it be buying for the sake of buying?
Adult relatives all have gifts too, although they are all very small compared to other years. Are we being tight and not in the spirit of Christmas, or are we just getting to a stage in our lives where consumerism is just wasted on us? We went in to m&s today with £100 gift vouchers and came out with 3 items and just under £50 left on the card, maybe we will feel different next year, but this year it just feels like I wish it could be new year already, I'm not even looking forward to the turkey. I guess barhumbug was a keen MSE
anyone else feeling fed up of it all? Sorry for the rant.
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they say it will be January 2nd before its due to be processed. Added to this my mrsDNO is on maternity leave, and although she works for the NHS and we is lucky to get occupational maternity leave, we are basically looking at funding Xmas and living costs on half our usual income. We have lines of credit with a High APR credit card and a Littlewoods account with nearly 1k to spend, but ideally we do not want to use these. We have 3 children (8,6 and 10 weeks) the two older kids want everything that was ever made in china for Christmas. But we have set a budget and we are basically up to it. Most of their toys have been from home bargains save for a ps3 game, and although it doesn't look like a mountain of presents, will it really matter? Come boxing day will they sit there and think Santa is tight? Or will they be more fascinated with the boxes as per usual. We genuinely do not know what to get them, it seems that they have most things children of their age have or want. Would it be buying for the sake of buying?Adult relatives all have gifts too, although they are all very small compared to other years. Are we being tight and not in the spirit of Christmas, or are we just getting to a stage in our lives where consumerism is just wasted on us? We went in to m&s today with £100 gift vouchers and came out with 3 items and just under £50 left on the card, maybe we will feel different next year, but this year it just feels like I wish it could be new year already, I'm not even looking forward to the turkey. I guess barhumbug was a keen MSE
anyone else feeling fed up of it all? Sorry for the rant.[FONT="][threadbanner]box[/threadbanner][/FONT]
TOTAL AT START £13606.90 27/03/2018
TOTAL CURRENT £13445.90 29/03/2018
TOTAL CURRENT £13445.90 29/03/2018
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Comments
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Actually, I think you're looking at it the wrong way around. Its been years since I spent a fortune on the family, but this year is going to be our biggest Christmas yet simply because we've made almost all of the presents and decorations. The children have santa stockings filled with little presents (not a PS3 game to be seen, not that we have one to play on anyway) and the front room will be decorated with paper chains and tinsel. All food is being cooked from scratch (no shop bought mince pies or triffles) and therefore as much as you want to eat because it was a quarter of the normal price we used to pay at Christmas.
I gave up on consumerism years ago and never looked back. It makes no sense to spend money you dont have on gifts that arnt particularly wanted or appreciated. All adult gifts are made, wine, beer, cosmetics etc. Nothing cost more than a few pounds to buy and I suspect will be much better appreciated when they are given.
The only concession to consumerism was a booze run which happens once a year using saved money. I've been putting aside a DD into a savings account for the last year and that's what is buying anything we cant be bothered to make this year.Debt Free! Long road, but we did it
Meet my best friend : YNAB (you need a budget)
My other best friend is a filofax.
Do or do not, there is no try....Yoda.
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Just want to give you and MrsDNO a wee (((hugs)))
This is one of the reasons I really don't like Christmas - it's the consumerism - people feel under so much pressure to get the latest gadgets / get loads of presents etc.
Honestly, think back to your childhood - what did you get? Can you even remember? (there is really only 1 present I can remember and that was my bike when I was 7!).
I blame advertising and the fact that kids are exposed to toys / games / gadgets everywhere now ... there literally is no escaping it - and they have no comprehension of how much things cost (and how can they?) but it just piles on more pressure on the parents.
Please don't get into debt for Christmas .... it's just not worth it. Go with what you've got, enjoy your day ....Grocery Challenge £211/£455 (01/01-31/03)
2016 Sell: £125/£250
£1,000 Emergency Fund Challenge #78 £3.96 / £1,000Vet Fund: £410.93 / £1,000
Debt free & determined to stay that way!0 -
If you've bought them a ps3 (assume to share between themselves?), then aren't they getting a nice Christmas? Or do you think it isn't enough? They are coming at an age where it is important they start to understand that getting toys and present is directly related with the money that comes in and you can explain that with their mum on maternity leave and their dad going back to school, you can only get them one big present.
I'm not in debt or struggling financially but my 10 yo is only getting a ps2 not 3 and that his main present (which he is happy about because he already has games for ps2).
Your kids will not love you less because you are not spoiling them with the latest gadget. They will however thank you one day for you teaching them the value of money.0 -
Fire - I caught the make your own bug recently. Next Xmas I want to be more self sufficient, one of my top purchases next year will be one of those kenwood chef thingies, I love food prep and my pies are to die for. I also want to master the art of home brew.
Rising - I hate shopping with a passion. Especially at this time of the year, everyone just looks so miserable, if they weren't digging themselves in to bigger financial holes for what is essentially one day then maybe they would be all a little happier.
We have enough money to pay the bills, and if we can stay at the I laws for a few nights over Xmas we should come out of Christmas with a little money left in the accounts now the would be an achievement, doing Christmas with half income and still having money over TOTAL AT START £13606.90 27/03/2018
TOTAL CURRENT £13445.90 29/03/20180 -
I didn't get then a ps3 just a game, since my mum and dad split up my dad is constantly turning up with gifts, ps3, lap top, iPad type tablet for them. He spoils them the whole year round, and it does annoy me but he says if if cant spoil his grandchildren then it's time to pack up, because he has little else in his life. I have had various arguments with him over this time and again.TOTAL AT START £13606.90 27/03/2018
TOTAL CURRENT £13445.90 29/03/20180 -
how do i tell my other half that i am in debt
I try to down play it in my head ... today i totaled the amount
and im ashamed , the debt has occurred on 9 different store card credit cards and home shopping .
it wasnt done in a greedy way just that my partner ha occured debts and was paying his off with a lot of grumble from me and in the mean time i had tried to keep the children clothed ect
i may on time however the min amount so nothing is clearing0 -
The kids won't even notice.
I've never spent alot on mine at Christmas and they never noticed and now they're teenagers they don't expect it. If they want something bigger they either have to club together with all the family or save (an art I've not quite mastered even if they have :rotfl:).
DM0 -
whataplum301 wrote: »how do i tell my other half that i am in debt
Welcome to MSE - you'd be best to start your own thread on the board for advice .....Grocery Challenge £211/£455 (01/01-31/03)
2016 Sell: £125/£250
£1,000 Emergency Fund Challenge #78 £3.96 / £1,000Vet Fund: £410.93 / £1,000
Debt free & determined to stay that way!0 -
downnotout wrote: »I didn't get then a ps3 just a game, since my mum and dad split up my dad is constantly turning up with gifts, ps3, lap top, iPad type tablet for them. He spoils them the whole year round, and it does annoy me but he says if if cant spoil his grandchildren then it's time to pack up, because he has little else in his life. I have had various arguments with him over this time and again.
Ahhhhh - I think this is also quite common now and unfortunately doesn't help! (as they come to think expensive things are the norm - again, they can't know that one thing costs £5 and something else £100 or more!).
Is there anyway you could steer him towards getting smaller gifts and maybe starting a savings fund for them if he wants to spend more - I'm sure that when the kids reach 18, they would really appreciate a bit of a lump sum to help out - driving lessons, a car, uni costs etcGrocery Challenge £211/£455 (01/01-31/03)
2016 Sell: £125/£250
£1,000 Emergency Fund Challenge #78 £3.96 / £1,000Vet Fund: £410.93 / £1,000
Debt free & determined to stay that way!0 -
wood toys are better and less expensif than a ps3...0
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