Xmas dilemma

downnotout

Rising, I haddnt thought about that maybe I will suggest that to him.

YORKSHIRELASS

I sympathise, I really do, my kids know we dont have much money but it doesnt mean that when they go back to school after Christmas all anyone will be talking about is what they got, not what they did over the holidays.

It seems like my 12 yo is the only kid in his class that doesnt have a Superdry coat - I mean £65 for a coat - there is no way we can afford that. He says he isnt bothered and he would only be worried about losing it if he had one, bless him.

Anyway, back to Christmas. You need to be strong. You cant afford loads of presents and if you borrow money to pay for them you will just feel worse after Christmas. Come mid January the kids wont even remember what they got and you will be worrying about the statements coming in.

My kids have struggled to think of things they wanted this year too. Its bonkers isnt it? They have so much stuff already. They will be getting some practical stuff, undies, pjs, socks and the like. I would be buying this anyway but it adds to the pile under the tree and I have always done this so they are happy with it.

There is so much pressure to feel like its all jolly and happy at this time of year and for a lot of us thats just not the case. My son has serious health problems and Christmas is always hard - you feel like everyone else has a perfect life which is ridiculous of course.

Anyway, Happy MSE Christmas to you and your family. Just stick to that budget!

downnotout

That's the thing, you have to hand it to marketing departments of stores and brands, they sure know what to say to make you feel inadequate. The Littlewoods advert for example, in fact thats it I'm paying my account up and closing it. Next year my children will have their Christmas money in a bank account, and they can join me in making gifts for others. If I can teach them now whilst they are young, that spending beyond your means to fit the "social norm" is not the road to a happy life then I am being a responcible parent, and maybe they will learn the lessons that I have, a good 20 years earlier

FireWyrm

You know, I've never shyed from the concept of money with my kids. It's as much a vital piece of education as how our impending new arrival managed to get inside my belly. My 8 year old was much intrigued, but was given an abreviated overview of the process suitable for her age using the correct terms. I dont believe in being coy with children on any subject, merely age appropriate. The same goes for money. When she notices something that someone has, I tell her exactly how much it cost. I discuss how that person might have afforded it, I discuss the concept of saving, of debt, of general finance and she helps me do the monthly 'sums' when I do my household finances. She knows how much I earn, how much we spend on food etc and how much is left over and she knows that life isnt free. I've never had a problem (or been in the least embarrassed) by telling a child that we simply cannot afford whatever it is she wanted, and why. In my experience, children completely understand that there is a finite pot of money and that bills take most of it - if you explain it and show them.

I think half of this pressure from children at Christmas comes from the idea that the parents are too embarrassed to tell their children that they dont have enough money for whatever. As for PDLs, my eldest didnt need any help from me. She pointed out (on her own) that if you didnt have the money this month, why would you have the same money plus the interest next month....out of the mouths of babes.

Of course, she also announced that she would of course be marrying a rich man so she wouldnt have to work.....but we'll get to that conversation later.

Janie4Now

OP - When my daughter was younger I used to buy loads of silly little things - crayons, a hair slide, ....whatever - but wrap every single little thing up individually. She loved it and she's never forgotten it!

You really don't need to spend a fortune - forget the consumerism - make the decorations together, get the two older ones to help with making festive food. Tell your adult relatives/friends that you're just not doing presents this year (you'll be surprised how many of them will be relieved!). Christmas is about families being together, it's not about "things".

And if you're worried about your older two going to school in the New Year and not having some big, expensive present to show off, then make a virtue of not wasting money, of remembering that many people in the world have nothing. Get them to buy in. And remember.....they will not be only one's anyway!

They have parents who love them and that is the most important thing. And that is what they will remember.

lilian1977

My DS is only 2 so I don't know whether I will actually be able to pull this off as he gets older, but my plan is to tell him that Santa just delivers the presents that mummy and daddy buy (maybe tell him that the stocking is a present from santa?). This way I hope to get him to understand from the start that the finances are not unlimited and that he can't ask for stupid things.

I hope you have a wonderful Christmas - your kids will love whatever you do for them as you're clearly trying hard and love them to bits xx

bess1234_2

They have ipad laptop and ps3 ! Stop worrying they have enough!

So £50 to get m and s special offers food for Xmas day then, and have a fab one, its what they'll remember. Is your dad coming for Xmas dinner, sounds like he would enjoy bringing you all something nice to contribute to the meal.

One year I got my dd a loads of shampoo and soap. But in a basket with a hairbrush and sponge. Probably wouldn't work for boys lol. But it was after despairing at the price of gift sets for a few small things .

newleafmum

If there's one thing I learnt last christmas it's that christmas is absolutley not about the presents.

Last year we were so so broke, I managed to get a few toys for the kids with clubcard vouchers and years worth of nectar points. I made hampers for the parents with jellys jams and biscuits and got books on offer for all our brothers and sisters.

I cooked a christmas dinner with food from iceland by selling old games and dvds. I spent days and days crying that all these people were bragging how much they had bought and mine had a couple of gifts each.

They put the pie out for santa by the tree and watched a christmas movie before bed, they were so excited.

We woke up christmas morning and had bucks fizz and eggs. The kids were so pleased santa had visited. They opened there presents and me and OH opened stockings which we'd put a £5 limit on each. We laughed as he played with the little lego figure I got him and the kids were just as excited by there few small gifts.

We had all our family over who oood and ahhhd at our hampers and then they left and we cooked up our frozen feasts. It was delicious.

After dinner we sat down to watch all the christmas telly and had a snooze. On the night we had some cheese and biscuits and agreed that it was the best christmas ever!!

I will never ever go back to the days off mass buying and getting into debt for a christmas that is half as meaning full.

downnotout

I'm feeling much better about it today, they have what they have and our cloth is cut to measure. My DS asked "can I have this for Xmas........" I said not this year you don't need it. His reply was "ok" - I'm shocked.

FireWyrm

downnotout wrote: »

I'm feeling much better about it today, they have what they have and our cloth is cut to measure. My DS asked "can I have this for Xmas........" I said not this year you don't need it. His reply was "ok" - I'm shocked.

We as a society rarely give children the credit that they are due. They're not idiots, just young. If you explain it, they will generally understand after a bunch of questions...but a small price to pay.