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  • FIRST POST
    Coco114
    overwhelmed new member
    • #1
    • 16th Feb 12, 8:09 PM
    overwhelmed new member 16th Feb 12 at 8:09 PM
    This is my first visit and somehow it feels like a big step !
    I am a, relatively new, single parent. Massively in debt .... I reckon I should have it all paid off by 2099 .... 
    Your stories , helpful members & tips look like they may help me to begin the long process of sorting this mess out. Emotionally , finally in a good place , financially - it's dire !
    But , I just wanted to say , your stories are all encouraging & it's given me the push I needed to start sorting this out !
    Thanks x
Page 1
  • Aiming High
    • #2
    • 16th Feb 12, 8:12 PM
    • #2
    • 16th Feb 12, 8:12 PM
    Hello and welcome

    It is daunting at first, I did nothing but read, read, plan, read and read a bit more with not a lot of doing to start with, but soon things fell into place. We're getting there and you will to.
    You have to start to finish.

    LBM - September 2011 ~ DEBT FREE July 2012
    Debt Sept 2011: 11,276.05, July 2012: 0
    VSP Challenge #69: 18.12
  • JRsrule
    • #3
    • 16th Feb 12, 8:21 PM
    • #3
    • 16th Feb 12, 8:21 PM
    Hello and welcome from me, too !

    Money is rarely easy, and debt is always difficult. You have made a big decision to deal with your debt and you will find so many good ideas on MSE. One of the first things I learned is that no matter how bad it seems, there's someone out there who has been there too (and maybe even worse) and the next thing I learned is that there's alot of really great folk here who are helpful, kind and generous with their ideas and inspiration. Welcome aboard

    Good luck to you
    x
  • Hovel lady
    • #4
    • 16th Feb 12, 8:22 PM
    • #4
    • 16th Feb 12, 8:22 PM
    Hello and welcome to MSE

    If you want any help with sorting out the debts etc post up a SOA (statement of affairs - link below) and we'll try to help.

    http://makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html
  • Coco114
    • #5
    • 17th Feb 12, 6:48 AM
    • #5
    • 17th Feb 12, 6:48 AM
    Thank you all so much - it's nice to know i am not on my own !
    2 big steps already for me - for 3rd day in a row I have checked my bank balanc coming from someone who couldn't open a bank statement for 6 yrs that's a good feeling ! Also went out for milk but didn't have a penny on me - normal process ? Withdraw 20 and I would have just spent the rest & that thought made me cross ! So back to car & checked all nooks & crannies to find coins so I wouldn't have to take money out ..... I am now 3.00 up  2 weeks ago I would have been 20 down !!!
    Babysteps ! Thanks again all if you - will look at PS at wknd x
    • abundant1972
    • By abundant1972 17th Feb 12, 7:29 AM
    • 943 Posts
    • 6,351 Thanks
    abundant1972
    • #6
    • 17th Feb 12, 7:29 AM
    • #6
    • 17th Feb 12, 7:29 AM
    Hi and welcome to the Forum... is great to have you here!!! Like you, I joined fairly recently and have got so much out of it!... Check in each day and try new challenges - it really helps... I get inspired by reading your posts also... I think if you can get (and stay) in an emotionally good place... the rest sort of follows on!... so well done for getting to that point... The foundations for a new life are in place... and every penny you save is like adding a brick to those foundations... building something new and solid just for you! Hugs x
    *** DEBT FREE ***
    Mindfulness 11/31. Workouts 12/14
    NST August (Spent): Food - 200.00/200.00. Spends 198.99/200.00. SFD - 17
    /20
    Emergency Fund: 500.00/1000.00 Saved
    Follow your heart & be true to yourself always

    • mavvymoo
    • By mavvymoo 17th Feb 12, 7:55 AM
    • 1,474 Posts
    • 16,628 Thanks
    mavvymoo
    • #7
    • 17th Feb 12, 7:55 AM
    • #7
    • 17th Feb 12, 7:55 AM
    Hi Coco and firstly welcome and well done for your first post.

    I am a newbie too and have had so much help and inspiration on these boards.

    I found 21 unopened bank statements and dreaded going to the cash machine in case I was over the overdraft and couldn't get any money.

    Those days have gone and I am on my way with major hiccups along the way but still trying and will get there.

    So I wish you all the luck in the world and keep posting

    Debt free and Mortgage free thank you to all for your encouragement and advice

    Crazy Clothes challenge 465/500 just under
    Biggest loser 11/15lbs
    Today I will be happier than a seagull with a stolen chip
  • deeleybopper
    • #8
    • 17th Feb 12, 8:51 AM
    • #8
    • 17th Feb 12, 8:51 AM
    Hi coco, mavymoo
    Also a newbie. Sounds silly but the other forum I was most often on was about holidays abroad that I joined a while back to plan a holiday. But they were always buying something...not good for a fresh mindset.

    I'd been a member on here but not used forum for just reading and inspiration till a month ago...so I totally agree with reading people's back stories and seeing their successes.

    I love your tale of hunting round the car...mine needs a good clean out (kids mobile) so I might be inspired to do that today to find some loose change for my jar!!

    Anyway new year new start new mindset with a few newbies to keep you company too! Good to have you on
    Board!
    2012 - DFW! taking positive steps forward, and it's only January! February

    Feb nsd: 6/6
    2 pot challenge: 5/50 where are they all?
    VSP member#163 VSP 18.30/wk3
  • sickasachip13
    • #9
    • 17th Feb 12, 9:55 AM
    • #9
    • 17th Feb 12, 9:55 AM
    Hi newbies,

    Great to have you here. I'd say take some time, make a cuppa and sit down and start reading and learning. That's what I did at the start. As I read more I realised I wasn't alone as I had been feeling and not as useless as I'd feared. There is a an awful lot of knowledge and support to be had here and you will all contribute to that to - which is ACE!

    Best of luck
    SAAC
  • Coco114
    Hi All - good to know I am not the only one who is new to all this. I have noticed little changes already, like being 10 mins late for work today - I got in my car with my precious 3.00 ....... thinking its Friday and I would treat myself - then I got back out - went back and made porridge (I never normally eat breakfast) and made myself sandwiches to take with me. I am bound and determined to hang on to that 3.00 as long as I can
    Am going to do my budget this weekend and also work out what I owe - not going to pretty, I am guessing at about 25,000 but will see.
    One thing - what should I be realisticly allowing for a family of three and 3 cats, for groceries for a month ? i was thinking 300.00 but is that too much ?
    Many thanks all xx
  • deeleybopper
    hey you inspired me too!
    cleaned out the car and found 2.09! woohoo.
    Gave 1 of it to DS as he helped with the hoovering - trying to encourage my two kids to be savers, they're doing really well with their own money boxes at the mo!
    2012 - DFW! taking positive steps forward, and it's only January! February

    Feb nsd: 6/6
    2 pot challenge: 5/50 where are they all?
    VSP member#163 VSP 18.30/wk3
  • Coco114
    Heres another one - went through old handbags , purses , coat pockets & under sofa cushions as well last night - it added 16.34 to my savings pot !! Bonus 
    Happy hunting xx
  • purpleruby
    Hi coco and welcome to the board. I am a single parent too so know how hard that can be. I am looking to be debt free by the end of 2012 but struggle to make ends meet each month. It's a hard and long journey but stick around and we can do it
    Debt free in 2012 - #117 1454.73/10813.21

  • Hovel lady
    Hi All - good to know I am not the only one who is new to all this. I have noticed little changes already, like being 10 mins late for work today - I got in my car with my precious 3.00 ....... thinking its Friday and I would treat myself - then I got back out - went back and made porridge (I never normally eat breakfast) and made myself sandwiches to take with me. I am bound and determined to hang on to that 3.00 as long as I can
    Am going to do my budget this weekend and also work out what I owe - not going to pretty, I am guessing at about 25,000 but will see.
    One thing - what should I be realisticly allowing for a family of three and 3 cats, for groceries for a month ? i was thinking 300.00 but is that too much ?
    Many thanks all xx
    Originally posted by Coco114
    Hi Coco
    Well done on making changes. The little ones really do add up.

    Do you keep a spending diary? Best way of finding out where the money has gone.

    Have you had a look at the OS (old style) board?
    Lots of ideas there about making the pennies stretch particulary with regards to groceries.

    Good luck with doing the budget x
  • Coco114
    Morning All
    So following NS sat night , I supplied snacks from cupboard & friend brought the wine , this morning I have opened the dreaded "chuck post in here & don't look at it cupboard" ...wow don't know where to start to be honest !
    Anyway , firstly this SOA will take a while as I have to work out what relates to what original debt but, one thing is beginning to worry me - whilst some of debt is mine - approx half is jt debt with my ex husband . I want to deal with it , but he has no intention (separation was not due to finances but I won't bore you all with that story!).
    I am currently dealing with shelter ref : MRS. My ex has no intention of dealing with anything. What happens if I try to deal with jt debt & he refuses to get involved ? I am already paying (god knows how) 3/4 of mortgage & secured on my own - don't see why I should be entirely responsible for paying jt debts ! Not sure what to do here ?
    Help ?!xx
  • Coco114
    As a rough guide - I earn 30k ish - mortgage & secured is at approx 198k , current value approx 165k. Ex earns 38k & gives me 500.00 per month. His rent/bills is less than 1/2 my mortgage/loan - my bills are 600 per month & I feed clothe etc the 2 kids. I would love nothing better than to not have to take a penny from ex but sadly don't have luxury of that. My take home is 1800 ish and outgoings are 1600 approx - his are 2300 and 1000 Inc what he gives me. Somethings not quite right here !
    Can I just deal with my half of a jt commitment ?
    Xx
  • cpjackso
    Congrats on sitting down and going through everything - it will take a while but you will be much happier when you know that its being sorted.

    A few initial questions/suggestions:

    • Split the debts into your name, joint names and his name.
    • Is the mortgage in joint names?
    • And if so - what is the mortgage share, eg. is it a 50/50 split?
    • Do you still have joint credit cards with the ex?
    Try to be accurate with your SOA and its also best if you can get the exact APRs for each card/loan etc.
  • Hovel lady
    Hello
    You say some of the debt is with your ex husband.
    Was this not sorted out when you got divorced?

    If the debts are in joint names and he won't pay you will be liable for the whole amount, this includes the mortgage if it is in joint names.
  • cpjackso
    (You probably want to look at this once you've determined what your debts are)

    I'm presuming the money from the ex ISNT organised through the CSA? If not - would suggest the mortgage, the bills and the money for the kids are all separate issues which each need certain amounts of money in/out.

    Mortgage

    If 50/50 mortgage split of mortgage at 165k @ 3% - monthly will be 789.63. His share = 394.82.

    Mortgage calculator here.

    Bills

    Depends on if ex lives with you or not?

    Money for kids

    Use the salary calculator here to determine his NET weekly pay (column = take home / weekly).

    Then use the CSA calculator here to determine how much the CSA would award you. Times the number by 52 (weeks) then divide by 12 to get months. (dont just times by 4!!).

    Then add Mortgage payment + if any for bills + money for kids.
    Last edited by cpjackso; 19-02-2012 at 10:21 AM.
  • paulsad
    Welcome to the club Coco! Some great people on here (as well as some that'll probably wind you up!) I've had some good help from parking fines to barbecue tips!
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