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  • FIRST POST
    maryland89
    Relationship falling apart :(
    • #1
    • 12th Nov 11, 10:23 PM
    Relationship falling apart :( 12th Nov 11 at 10:23 PM
    Hello everyone
    I'm looking for some advice from different angles and perhaps somewhere just to write everything down as I'm really struggling at the moment

    I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years now, we bought a house 2 years ago together with a big help (about 30,000) from my mum and dad. About a week after we had bought the house I caught my boyfriend kissing another girl in a nightclub on my birthday, he apologised profusely and offered to move out. I was distraught and confused because we had just bought a house together, and I guess embarassed so we agreed to stay together.

    Anyway we have been getting along ok, but often argue about housework. He puts more money into the joint account and therefore expects me to do all the housework even though we both work the same amount of hours. At first I was happy to do this but began to feel a bit 'taken for granted' after a while. I have mentioned this to him and it always ends up in a big argument about him putting more money in than me.
    He also complains about the housework a lot if I get behind e.g. if i've not done a wash for a week or his shirts aren't ironed for work

    We work in the same office

    He doesn't drive so I end up being his taxi driver too

    Recently I have decided to re-train and have started an evening college course, as well as helping out at Rainbows (girl guides) and I have reduced my hours at work, taking a pay cut so I can volunteer once a week to get experience in the job I want to do

    I also am a member of a dance group and go to yoga once a week

    This means I work Mon, Tue, Thu, Fri, volunteer on a Weds. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday evening I am also out doing these activities, and then I have to fit 12 hours of study in on top of all that. To be honest I am really struggling with the workload, and it is impossible for me to keep on top of the house work. I am finding it very tiring and stressful, but I'm just glad I'm doing something I want to do and know that its my own fault.

    Anyway my boyfriend goes out on a Saturday morning and I normally don't see him til Sunday morning. He can never tell me what time he will be back home and he doesn't ring or text to tell me where he is, I have to call him to find out if he will be back for tea and he normally gets angry at calling him. He says because I'm busy all week this is his time to be with his friends and I'm being selfish not allowing him to have this time on his own.

    We do get to spend sunday together but are normally in a bad mood with each other by this point

    I just don't know what to do anymore, it feels like when I'm in a good mood he is in a bad mood, which then makes me in a bad mood, and by that point he is in a good mood, but I'm in a bad mood and its a vicious circle

    I feel like I can't trust him, I'm worried he's spending time with other girls even though its me who is now out of the house more often.

    A couple of weeks ago I woke up to find my boyfriend asleep (drunk) in the spare room and came downstairs to find the front door wide open and my laptop fully on show. He hasn't even apologised for this.

    I feel he has no respect for me or the house but wonder if I'm just over emotional because I'm so tired at the moment? He is probably feeling like I dont spend time with him anymore because I'm busy studying.

    And because i've cut my hours I can't go out with my friends as I just can't afford it.

    Financially I couldn't live without him and I'm also worried as my parents put such a large amount of money into the house. We were supposed to sign something at the time to say that it was their money, but we never got round to it. Now I really wish we had done and I wish I had split up with him when I found him kissing that girl 2 years ago.

    I just don't know what to do, I feel like crying all the time and he just gets angry all the time. He says I'm boring and depressing to be around at the moment which isn't very fun for him, and I would agree I am but I feel its him making me feel like that.

    Anyway rant over with. I realise this is a really long post, but I'm just glad I've got it out of my system now.

    I'm dreading him coming home tonight as he will see i've been crying which will just cause another argument.

    Thank you for reading xxx
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