Wanting a low key wedding

keepingitquiet · 6 February 2010 at 7:25PM

Hi all I'm after some advice. I'm a regular poster on here but using an alias as I know people in RL and don't want this to be common knowledge just yet!

I want to get married, as low key and cheaply as possible. We are getting married to be married, not for the wedding IYKWIM?

I'll not be telling anyone til its booked and paid for cos I really can't be doing with people telling me what 'I must have'

Ideally I'd like it all in the one place. I honestly don't know where to start looking!
When I google weddings all I get is fancy venues that I'm just not after!
Its not so much the money, I just want a quiet do but I'm struggling!
Perhaps I need to think outside the box as it were?

Anyone else had a low key non over the top warts and all wedding?

I have already posted this on the wedding board but I've not had much response

TIA and sorry for being a bit cloak and dagger!

pigpen · 6 February 2010 at 7:27PM

My friend had a handfasting in her mother back garden with about 10 people there, after an 'official' ceremony at the registry office with just both sets of parents..

I think most of the bigger hotels do packages now.. might be worth contacting one of those to get an idea of what you are looking for.. they often have someone you can chat to and come up with some sort of deal if you have certain things..

notsayingaword · 6 February 2010 at 7:40PM

We had a quiet low key wedding with just us and our parents - we didn't tell anyone else until after the event when we announced it on facebook! I didn't want the warts and all wedding and just wanted something simple. I wore a lovely prom dress that I bought in the Debenhams sales which cost me £50, and shoes from ebay while DH got his suit from Matalan. We had the ceremony at the local registry office (beautiful medieval manor house), took a few photos ourselves and went for a nice meal afterwards before going to pick the kids up from school! This was perfect for us and didn't cause (much) stress, and more importantly, a huge dent on our finances! We actually spent around £700 in total (marriage license, registry office, clothes, shoes, rings, and meal). We had a weekend away for a honeymoon a month later at a spa hotel during school holidays while the kids stayed with their grandparents, and that was more than sufficient for us

. I enjoyed my day but there's no reason why you have to go over the top if you don't want to.

kr15snw · 6 February 2010 at 7:43PM

How about registry office then meal in your favourite restaurant? Depends how big you family (brothers, sisters, parents and kids) is but you could have just direct family and a handful of friends.

Wouldn't cost a fortune, and it would be nice and intimate

msb5262 · 6 February 2010 at 7:44PM

If you could give some idea of what you mean by low key, that would help to get you some detailed information/advice.
Some people have 50 guests and call it "low key" - personally I would use this phrase to describe either NO advance knowledge by anyone other than the two of you, no guests and witnesses dragged in off the street or very close family only - both sets of parents where possible, children if that applies, and siblings of the couple plus partners of siblings.
If you can clarify a bit, I think you'll get some really helpful advice.
MsB

nickyhutch · 6 February 2010 at 7:44PM

We're getting married in July, and want a small do, mostly because I don't want fuss - like you I want to get married, not a party - and partly because of the money. We're getting married at the Register Office, and then going to a restaurant for a meal. There'll be about 20 of us (and that's too many for me!).

Congratulations, and good luck :j

mountainofdebt · 6 February 2010 at 7:45PM

When my SIL and BIL looked to book their wedding they initally went to the local hotel which offered the complete wedding package but decided it wasn't for them.

They ended up getting married in the local registry office, and having the reception in the local pub - didn't have a photographer and drove themselves to and from the registry office.

I can honestly say it was the best wedding I've ever been to - everyone enjoyed themselves because they could be themselves and not worry about the cost (drinks were at pub prices not fancy hotel prices).

daska · 6 February 2010 at 8:47PM

We had our ceremony at Castel Coch early one morning, it was so low key that we drove ourselves to the venue and got changed in the castle tea rooms. 29 people including the registrars. We then took over a small restaurant for lunch, we chose somewhere that was exactly the right size for the number of guests we had and got a good deal because it was a fixed number of covers - cost us a fraction of a hotel package, allowed us to marry in a very memorable venue and we got a superb meal at less than the hotel had quoted us for using part of one of their function rooms (seriously, when we booked in for a meal there to check it out we were counting the faces).

Give us an idea of budget and numbers (and possibly a vague area) and you'll probably get a wonderful array of suggestions

hollythecat · 6 February 2010 at 9:39PM

How about registry office then meal in your favourite restaurant? Depends how big you family (brothers, sisters, parents and kids) is but you could have just direct family and a handful of friends.

Wouldn't cost a fortune, and it would be nice and intimate

This is exactly what we did and it was lovely. We only invited people who lived close enough to travel in a day as we didn't want anyone put to the expense of a hotel room. Including the meal for about 20 people at the restaurant (where everyone ordered what they wanted in advance instead of eating our choice as they would in a hotel) and clothes for me, DH and 2 bridesmaids (lovely dresses from Next) we spent less than £1000.
I would advise a gift list though, we said we didn't want presents as we had already set up home but people do want to buy something and I still don't know what to do with this...

http://www.glow.co.uk/acatalog/PLASMA-360-.html !

chelle230 · 6 February 2010 at 9:40PM

we had a low key wedding, which was exactly what we both wanted.
we had 30 close family and friends to the civil ceremony, wasn't registry office, was in a small manor house, then pub for 3 course lunch, then hired a social club for evening party where we invited everyone else.
as we lived together, and needed no presents to set up home, family helped pay for the meal, evening disco, and the wedding cake.
the whole thing cost us less than £3000, including my dress (evening dress for £60), our shoes, his suit, ds suit.

tandraig · 6 February 2010 at 9:49PM

If you want low key but a church wedding - then as long as you have the witnesses there shouldnt be a problem booking not very popular dates - ie Saturdays.
I know the venue Daska said and its beautiful - fairytale setting!
so you book the church/register office, then decide whether you actually want a meal/celebration or to sneak off and have a lovely honeymoon somewhere! its not legally compulsory to have a reception/evening do you know!
If you are marrying to get the certificate - all you need is two witnesses. then if you wish you could go straight back to work! but i got this romantic image of the two of you in some country hotel, nice meal, nice suite, and a night to remember! awwww must be getting soppy in my old age!!!

Wanting a low key wedding

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