Dan's desperate dash towards solvency

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  • worriedDan
    worriedDan Posts: 262 Forumite
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    You're totally right, it is the shame and guilt that is getting to me the most. Speaking To my dad has helped enormously though
  • Money_Rollercoaster
    Money_Rollercoaster Posts: 247 Forumite
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    Well, if you aren't managing to get on top of those feelings of shame and guilt, don't you think that you could benefit from some proper support to help you do that? After all, if you're earning so darn much, you need to make the most of the health service you are supporting so well ... ;):D


    Seriously, don't let life pass you by. Grasp the nettle and get an appointment.
    174 BPM >> CC Balance (0%) -£3,565.99 - Target DFD Dec 2017 >> Loan (Car) (3.1%) -£19,803.74 - Target DFD Nov 2020
  • worriedDan
    worriedDan Posts: 262 Forumite
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    I just read a really interesting article about how acute financial stress can create symptoms similar to PTSD. I can definitely relate to some of the points in the article. I am acutely aware that many many people suffer terrible experiences that pale my debt problem into significance, however is what I am dealing with at the moment.

    The article talks about denial - I have definitely been guilty of this. Even now, 3 weeks in, I still find it unbearable to add up the grand total. My dads advice -"don't add it up! Concentrate on paying the 2k a month off it and it doesn't matter what the exact balance is. Think about it less and stop obsessing over ever small detail"

    I expected my dad to be shocked at the level of debt we are in but he really wasn't. In his opinion, we could be 100K in debt and still fix it with 2k a month payments. This makes sense and I really needed to hear this reaction. Again, this is me seeking validation from others.

    Being able to post all of this on here helps a great deal
  • lessonlearned
    lessonlearned Posts: 13,337 Forumite
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    Dan. Your dad sounds fab. A very sensible man too. He's right - if the total debt scares the living daylights out of you then just focus on that £2k a month.

    i will say this.......it's still early days for you.....just three weeks in and you are doing marvellously well. You sound like a different man, a lot more relaxed and positive.

    Just stay positive and focussed but don't forget to enjoy life along the way.

    Summer Is on its way, bringing lots of opportunities to get out and about in the great outdoors without breaking the bank. Get out there and have some free or low cost fun with your family.
  • enthusiasticsaver
    enthusiasticsaver Posts: 15,594 Ambassador
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    Your dad sounds very supportive. I would focus on paying off that £2k per month and not add the balance up constantly. Maybe once every 3 months just to make sure that interest is not scuppering your repayment plans.
    I’m a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on the Debt free Wannabe, Budgeting and Banking and Savings and Investment boards. If you need any help on these boards, do let me know. Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any posts you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button, or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.
  • EssexHebridean
    EssexHebridean Posts: 21,372 Forumite
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    Suggestion - as said above, and from your Dad, ignore that scary big figure, and instead, look at the first single debt that you're hammering. For now - right now - THAT is your goal and your focus, nothing more. That might make the situation feel less overwhelming.
    🎉 MORTGAGE FREE (First time!) 30/09/2016 🎉 And now we go again…New mortgage taken 01/09/23 🏡
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  • worriedDan
    worriedDan Posts: 262 Forumite
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    Tonight I have eaten and and actually enjoyed my food! I haven;t eaten properly for the best part of 2 weeks and I am the best part of a stone lighter! (every cloud....)

    I can really feel the fog lifting now. I am thinking more rationally and seem to be obsessing less.

    I am definitely taking the advice to ignore the overall debt figure for now. I am actually going to ignore it for a year I have decided. I have my debt snowball set up so this wil be my monthly focus.
  • worriedDan
    worriedDan Posts: 262 Forumite
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    So, the plan for today is.... no calculations, no adding up, no overthinking about money. I want a normal day today!!!!
  • worriedDan
    worriedDan Posts: 262 Forumite
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    After a decent day I am starting to feel a little low about things. Had a great chat with a colleague about my situation and she gave me some perspective on things. I do desperately want to have a decent weekend this week
  • motivated
    motivated Posts: 3,044 Forumite
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    Hi Dan

    your mood will be up and down at times and I hope you have a stress free weekend. It will do you good to not think about finances for a while.

    The sun is shining here today. If you are lucky enough to have the sun maybe a nice walk will help take your mind off things.
    M
    Emptying my lake with a teaspoon
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