Dan's desperate dash towards solvency

Bobarella

Wow that's good going. How did you manage that?

worriedDan

I think it was week 1 determination! It'll not always be so low. We also had loads of food in the house, which has helped.

worriedDan

Had a quick progress check earlier - £1271 paid off so far. There are some more debt payments to be made later in the month and I really want to clear £1500 from our balance before next payday. Next month will be far more organised. We had our LBM very close to this payday so we had to 'recover' from the financial hangover of last month.

worriedDan

It's always this time of night when it starts to feel insurmountable. I need to get out of this cycle. I sit going through the figures, agonising that I have made a mistake and that It's all going to come tumbling down.

BettyBones

I think going through the figures over and over will do you more harm than good. Maybe just set aside half an hour, or an hour, once a day where you allow yourself to check and obsess over the figures but then that's it. Set a timer and when it pings you have to leave it alone and go and do something else. Sounds weird but I find that a puzzle book really helps. I only log onto my online banking and open my spreadsheets once a day now to check that all is as it should be and on track and make any necessary transfers and payments etc. I allow myself a quick half hour after work to look at my financials, reconcile any receipts etc and then that's it. If I have nothing else to do late at night and my financial situation starts to creep back into my thoughts then I simply pick up my puzzle book and my mind soon gets lost in a wordsearch or one of those pesky sudoku puzzles. If you're not keen on puzzle books then maybe try a jigsaw puzzle. You can pick them up from a charity shop for a couple of pounds. Or find yourself a good book. Anything that will distract your mind and enable you to relax

worriedDan

I tossed and turned for most of last night with money stuff going through my head. I am having to be really careful not to drive my wife mad. She has been great, but her attitude is very much 'it's being sorted, lets just get on with it' etc. She doesn't want to dwell on it or talk about it everyday which I guess is fair enough.

I seem to be going through highs and lows at the moment. One moment I am buzzing and enthusiastic about what we are going to achieve. the next minute I am edgy, panicking and feeling like an absolute failure. Last night I must have used the snowball calculator 10 times over. I don't know what I was expecting? 29 months till the credit cards are gone, if I follow the snowball method ( which I intend to. 29 months is not long....but it feels like an eternity today.

motivated

worriedDan wrote: »

I tossed and turned for most of last night with money stuff going through my head. I am having to be really careful not to drive my wife mad. She has been great, but her attitude is very much 'it's being sorted, lets just get on with it' etc. She doesn't want to dwell on it or talk about it everyday which I guess is fair enough.

Hi Dan

I can relate to your sleeping pattern waking up throughout the night and the first thing that pops into your head is money, the last thing you think of before going to bed etc

BUT since having our true LBM I can honestly say I've been sleeping like a baby. I have accepted that the debt will not go down overnight. It wasn't built up overnight and so won't disappear overnight.

As long as you have your plan in place try to set small goals that you can aim for, once reached you can celebrate your achievement with your wife. Then onto the next goal etc.

It is very tempting to try and clear as much as you can in a short space of time but you will drive yourself insane with it all going round in your head.
I find it easier to post thoughts and feelings on a diary so this saves my poor DH having to listen to me constantly on about money
Good luck on your journey
M

January2015

Hi Dan

It is almost 26 months since I had my LBM. I still mess around with spreadsheet forecasts of debt free dates EVERY DAY It makes me happier to see 'what if' we did this or that.

In the beginning I was always banging on about 'our' debt free plans. He would listen (at least I think he listened) and then get on with whatever he was doing. Eventually I realised he is happy to go along with my plans to get us out of debt and just be 'along for the ride'. Of course he wants to be debt free, but he doesn't want to be thinking about it all the time - unlike me, who eats, sleeps, and breathes every debt payment, every full and final settlement offer, etc. etc. Yes - 'our' debt free plans are, in reality, my debt free plans.

I think the wish to be out of debt can consume you. However, I no longer have sleepless nights thinking about it. It didn't happen immediately though. I did stop worrying about our debts once I realised the DMP would mean frozen interest and every penny paid to debts would reduce the balance. After several weeks, I did manage to start sleeping in a fairly normal sleep pattern.

If you are not sleeping and stressing over your debt you might want to seriously consider visiting your GP.

moneyfacts

I think you're up and down and overthinking it because you have just made a major life change. You will very soon settle into the 'program'.

I genuinely believe that whilst there will be ups and downs, overall you will be happier and more contempt in life as the months go on. You have already seen that spending so much less had nill impact on your family's happiness.

Stop waiting for your debt free date, instead wait for the next 'debt reduced date'

Each month you're improving your finances! That's brilliant!

worriedDan

Thanks for the posts folks. I really do appreciate it.

feeling a little better today. My wife spoke to me last night. I think that she is finding my low mood intolerable. She has a more matter of fact approach towards the situation. In her opinion, yes, it's a large sum of money BUT we can pay 2k a month so it will soon be going down. She isn't stressing about it like me and has urged me to get on with the repayment, but to also get on with life and stop talking about it. Everything she says makes sense to me. She is right.

There is absolutely nothing that I can do about the total debt figure right now. It is what it is. It will never be this high again, and that does give me some reassurance. I think that my angst is more to do with a general feeling that I have let my family down, let my son down etc. I know that this is irrational.

I am also struggling with this idea of 'what would people think if they knew'. I sometimes think should I tell my father the total figure of debt, but then I know that it would worry him no end. He is 70 and that wouldn't be fair, so why do I even consider it??