Dan's desperate dash towards solvency

EssexHebridean

Yes I definitely think tackling the anxiety is vital now. You've done so well on the financial stuff, now you have to turn your attention to yourself and looking after you, as well.

Hope it goes well at the Docs.

Also totally agree with what DS says about the "spare" £900 too - I reckon if you plan it carefully and don't go too far from home you could definitely do a family camping trip for £300 for easter. Think about planning ahead for easy meals to cook on your own cooking facilities to remove the temptation for eating out, and research free things to do so you still have a bit of a budget left for ice creams!

worriedDan

So I went to the doctors. I now have some medication which will apparently help to reduce my anxiety and panic.I have also been offered a referral for counselling.

It's a bit of a chicken and egg situation really. I don't know if my financial issues have led to my mental health issues, or if my Mental health issues have made me react badly to my debt situation. Who knows. I suspect that I am probably more prone to these issues than I care to admit.

Today has been a more positive day. not perfect but better.

I have still done the snowball calculator again, putting in my 'worst case scenario' figures if I am not able to get any more 0% at the end of year, and whilst it will obviously cost me some interest, the debt will still be serviceable in a reasonable time frame. I really hope that I as start paying chunks off, better rates become available to me.

enthusiasticsaver

I think as the debt reduces Dan you will feel less anxious. Try not to worry about what will happen 9 months from now. If you are able to stick to your plan of £2k per month the debt will have gone down by £18k. Won't that be great? A third will be gone and you will be starting 2018 with your debt in the 30s!!

armchairexpert

worriedDan wrote: »

So I went to the doctors. I now have some medication which will apparently help to reduce my anxiety and panic.I have also been offered a referral for counselling.

It's a bit of a chicken and egg situation really. I don't know if my financial issues have led to my mental health issues, or if my Mental health issues have made me react badly to my debt situation. Who knows. I suspect that I am probably more prone to these issues than I care to admit.

It's almost certainly both. Anxiety and self sabotage tend to go hand in hand: when I'm anxious, I procrastinate, and then I get more anxious and more self loathing, and the cycle continues. I used to drink the anxiety away, you can guess how well that went. I couldn't begin to address the anxiety until I was sober, but getting sober didn't fix the anxiety. I had to do both.

I wouldn't be at all surprised if spending money is a self soothing habit for you, because your high income and ability to spend reassure you that you're a worthy person and assuage your anxiety. Then the debts have brought that illusion crashing down, and had more of an effect on you than most people because the money was already tied to your emotional well being.

You can't treat the anxiety and ignore the money problems, but getting rid of the debts alone won't fix the underlying issues around money and identity. Do both, and you'll look back on this period as the best thing that happened to you.

worriedDan

First med taken this morning. Lets hope that things start to improve now. Desperately want to start feeling better about things now. This black cloud needs to go!

EssexHebridean

Anxiety is a devil of a thing. Something I found really helped was actually taking it by the scruff of the neck (as it were) and telling myself that enough was enough, I was going to sort it. I used that Scottish NHS site I mentioned before which was absolutely excellent - worked through the steps they suggest, and in fact still use them now when things get a bit much - but generally speaking within a week of starting working through their programme I felt like a different person. It gave me the tools to rationalise things (not easy when your head is busy going "aaarghhhhh!" about everything) and to challenge my thought processes too.

As for which caused the situation - it honestly doesn't matter now beyond needing to be aware that you have a tendancy towards anxiety and mental health issues. Over time you will learn what your triggers are, but for now be wary of creating something else to be anxious about. The knowledge will come - don't focus on "needing to know" right now.

worriedDan

Thanks EH. You talk a lof of sense.

I have also been referred for counselling. I am going to take whatever is offered!

Money_Rollercoaster

Whilst it's not great that you're still feeling anxious and stressed I think it is immensely positive that you've been to the doctor and sought some advice and support (that's more than I've ever managed!). I hope over the next days and weeks, you find you're coping better.

EssexHebridean

Yes - whatever helps is the key thing. Baby steps. Learn your strengths and also your weaknesses, and then learn to deal with the weaknesses - but do it all one step at a time.

Oh, and the first thing that website taught me by the way was that no, I wasn't going mad, and no I wasn't going to make myself ill. That was two less things to be anxious about for a start then!

worriedDan

Had a really good evening yesterday and felt like I had really turned a corner. This morning I woke up early feeling rubbish. I couldn't get the ". I can't believe I owe fifty grand oncredit cards" out of my head. Feeling so very nervous about it and worried that I might not be able to fix it.