Flo's Debt Free Diary

chevalier · 10 July 2016 at 6:04AM

Well done on keeping on keeping on. i have read through your diary and I sympathise with how hard your anxiety must be to deal with. Good luck with doing your selling and your surveying.
chev

Florence_J · 10 July 2016 at 10:39PM

Hi everybody,

I hope you all had a lovely weekend. After a terrible saturday lunchtime rain session we have had mainly good weather here in South Wales.

I have clocked up 2 NSDs this week, and I really had to fight today because my OH wanted me to buy shower gel and i was like 'Noooooooo, I want a NSD' and he was like 'I'll give you the money' and I said 'But i haven't done an analysis about which is the best deal'. Eventually managed to convince him to use the bubble bath, it's all the same stuff.

Had a great weekend but didn't spend a penny, so that is good.

Been reading about weight lose and my new knowledge, plus my app 'my fitness pal' should see me right.

Tomorrow will be a spend day, as my OH has insisted on the shower gel. I'm hoping to get up early and do the shop. We do need a few things, mango chutney, sponges, milk, bananas, i will absolutely try to stick to the list and not go over board.

The OH and I are going to have another BBQ in a few fridays time so will need to stock up again on food. One thing i know I won't be buying/eating is Crisps, not till the 3rd of August anyway.

Still watching the football.

Made some origami boats today as part of an art project about the refugee crisis. picked up a free listings magazine which I try to get every month and I have found out that fortnightly there is a mindfulness session not far from my house on mondays, with tomorrow being one of the weeks.

So I will be going to that.

Florence_J · 11 July 2016 at 9:07PM

Seen an accountant apprenticeship job and I'm tempted to apply for it, even though if i was successful it would mean i would be earning 3.30 per hour. I am at a point in my life where I can still begin again. I have no commitments over than my devotion to my OH. I don't have a mortgage, or kids. But I have debt, which is a commitment that will not go away until it is over.

I will apply for it. The worse that can happen is I turn it down if it is not right for me.

Florence_J · 12 July 2016 at 12:41PM

Things to do today

Iron clothes
Put away dried clothes
Apply for jobs
Take back Library book
Opinion Outpost Surveys

Florence_J · 13 July 2016 at 10:00AM

I've decided to make the most of my 'holiday' (translation-technically unemployed) and have been watching Right on the Money. On today's show there is a couple with over £101000 of debt, a couple who are having a 'no spend year' and a serious clothes shopper.

This has inspired three bonus challenges.

1. Also pay more than the minimum on all my cards, even if it is by a nominal amount.
2. Have at least 15 NSDs a month.
3. Go 'shopping' from my own wardrobe.

I was a big fan of the website 'what i wore today' (there is also a book available). It is a beautiful website of people taking pictures of what they are wearing and talking about their outfits. I love clothes and fashion, which is why I always spent a lot (and also being a Plus Size woman I needed to do all i could to make myself feel good).

In January 2011, when I was in my final year of UNI, i set myself the challenge of not buying any clothes for a month and instead i had to wear all my clothes I owned, and take pictures of my outfits. I remember cracking on something like the 28th of Jan and buying a black and white polka dot dress , but reasoned it was ok as long as I didn't wear it until february.

The paying more than the minimum amount is just common sense and was something I was doing until recently (when my income decreased), but savings can be made, I just have to find a way to do so.

I am doing Payment a Day for my Vanquis card, this is the one which charges the most interest, but I have been paying the minimum on my other cards. I have another card that is 0% till March so I need to work out a payment plan for that even if i don't get employed again for a while.

Also i think at least 15 NSDs a month is very reasonable considering my outgoings should be severely reduced as I am in debt!!

Somehow I have been able to spend up to £100 a month on 'Non Essential Food' (work lunches, coffee shops, unnecessary treats) which is huge! I could easily throw this at a debt instead. I could have paid off a further £600 on a debt this year if i had been more careful.

Or i could have turned that money into a social fund. I plan my social outings ages in advance to make sure I have enough money to cover it and it is because I overspend.

I am going to go through my finances and previous months spending diaries to spot patterns and mistakes.

Florence_J · 13 July 2016 at 10:14AM

In the interest of 'shopping' from my wardrobe, I thought i would post everyday about what I am wearing, as it may inspire me to create new outfit combinations and stop me wearing the same clothes all the time.

Today I am wearing a long sleeve baseball t shirt with a gig poster on it with pink highlights. I am wearing my black jeans. It is a very safe and comfy outfit, suitable for hot or chilly weather. It is good for a day at home.

Florence_J · 13 July 2016 at 10:22AM

Also in good news, when I weighed myself today I am a weight that I haven't been since the 25th of May this year, 49 days ago!

I entirely thank the app myfitnesspal, it has been a life saver.

Florence_J · 13 July 2016 at 5:13PM

Signed up for the Covent Garden 1 quid off voucher and some other vouchers as mentioned on the supermarket coupons section of this website. It's been a day where I've been glued to the news all day. I may go for a walk before making dinner. Lasagne tonight. I plan on going for a jog afterwards. My boy is working late tonight so I have a bit of time to make dinner.

Anxious about what's going to happen money wise. I need to make some money soon. I think I can borrow money off my boyfriend if i need to this month, but that will just be added to the grand total I owe him.

I find selling things on ebay so stressful that I feel like I'm done with it for this month.

I've been starting to fill in an online shop basket and I'm pleased to see that It looks like it will be a cheaper month. But I expect some extras will dive in before shopping day on the 27th.

I wanted to do some baking but I didn't have some of the ingredients and today is a NO SPEND DAY, so will have to do that another time.

I wouldn't say I feel anxious, but I have a certain distrust about what the future holds. I hope I am proven wrong.

Florence_J · 14 July 2016 at 1:13PM

Well it is the 14th of July which means it's never too early to start thinking about the C word.

As today is a spend day I decided to make the most of a sale on at Sainsbury's to get my dad and step mum some nice things I had seen.

I bought (all in the same design)

2 mugs
2 tumblers
2 dinner plates
1 serving plate
1 serving bowl
2 nibble bowls
a table runner
4 tile coasters

all for 30 quid! Well, 30.10 if you include the bags.

But I had 2 '300 nectar points when you spend over 15 quid' so i did shopping load one and shopping load 2, both 15 quid, so i made 3 pounds in points, meaning i really spent 27 pounds.

Which was great until I got home and checked my christmas 2016 budget spreadsheet and saw I had budgeted 10 pounds per person........

or that i had somehow forgotten to list my 4 NIECES AND NEPHEWS PRESENTS on the spreadsheet.

Christmas 2016 is projected to cost me 500 pounds. It will include 16 family members xmas presents, 4 december/january birthday presents which I include on the christmas budget, a christmas jumper, a christmas meal with my boyfriends family as we are spending christmas at my folks this year, travel, christmas football game, stamps/postage for presents/cards and miscellaneous costs.

At the moment Christmas seems far too near and 500 quid far too unobtainable.

And I created a budget spreadsheet for the Christmas Meal, budgetted at 60 quid (30 each my OH and me). I thought 'that's loads of money because his family will probably provide dessert and starters so all we have to do is the main' but as i was adding up the cost of everything (from veg and meat to cranberry sauce, stuffing, wine etc) it has actually come to over 60 quid. 63.75 to be exact.

So i am not sure whether to spread the cost now by buying little store cupboard things (like a jar of cranberry sauce) or wait until nearer to Christmas when the deals might be on but the option to spread the cost won't be there.

I thought I would have a calming look through Jack Monroe's 'A Year in 120 Recipes' Christmas section but that just made me realise the things I had forgotten to include.

I know I have probably greatly over estimated the cost of the vegetables, but it does show that I will need to be careful and to reign it in.

Today I received my friends wedding invitation in the post (Yey), I also received a rejection from a job I had applied for. Booooo.

I had spoken to my old job about being reassigned and they said that it was very quiet at the moment and they didn't have any new contracts yet, which is a bit sad. I think i ultimately made the right choice in leaving my old contract as it was driving me to stress and depression, but not having a secure income when you are in debt is very, very worrying.

I don't know whether to go on a selling offensive, a job hunt offensive, or both. I know both is probably the answer, but I'm so afraid of conflict I find selling on ebay really difficult even though i class myself as an honest seller and don't over charge.

Also the things i want to sell I can't really as they were given to me by my OH's family and it would upset my OH to do so. It's not the items are bad or unwanted, they just aren't needed essentially.

Things will have to be looked into.

Florence_J · 15 July 2016 at 6:38PM

I am home alone today and I feel I should explain why and tell you a little bit more about my debt.

I used to work in the canteen at my University. I started as a second year student and stayed on for about 18 months after I graduated. I was on a zero hour contract.

At first everything was great, i would recommend catering jobs to most people, particularly students as it really helps keep the food bills down.

But after I graduated things changed. I'll admit there were some aspects I could have handled better, but i started being bullied by some of my co workers, really being undermined at every turn, having my responsibilities cut, i even found notes about me! I worked really hard, I always have and I always will, but nothing I did seemed good enough. I had shifts cancelled at the last minute, and was kept out of meetings.

Eventually things got so bad that I was having panic attacks before every shift and I stopped being able to go in and I eventually handed in my notice.

I then found a job nearer to home, started and really enjoyed it.

After I had worked there 7 days I was called to a meeting with my new boss. The reference from my old job had come through, and it was so negative that they had no choice but to let me go.

They said it was no reflection on my work but it was something they had to do.

I lost my job. I was fired.

I had to pay and wait to obtain the reference that my previous employer gave me. It was filled with lies, and extreme bias, i contacted my old boss about this reference and the faults they had with me were so petty (they thought i used the 'wrong' cleaning supply to clean the table, i was in fact the only one using the correct one ironically) that the fact they wrote this reference shows their extreme hatred of me.

I hate to say it, but I think it was because I had a degree and the majority of workers there didn't. The problems started immediately after I graduated, I had to put up with one employee making fun of my weight (she wasn't exactly thin herself) and tell me on a daily basis that my job wasn't secure.

It was several months before I got another job, where i was celebrated as one of the hardest working people there, beloved by the staff, and regularly rewarded for my hard work.

I know that if you get a bad reference some people will assume that you must have been to blame. I did take significant time off work due to stress and IBS, but that was all a result of working there, and I explained as well as i could about what was happening.

I didn't handle the bullying well, but i ask you if you were being bullied and undermined every day would you have the strength to deal with it properly?

I am at home alone tonight because my old Uni is throwing a farewell party for the campus I lived on and was educated on as it has been sold to a developer. My boyfriend is going, a lot of my friends are going, and i am not. Because if i have to see anyone i used to work with again i'm not sure how i will react. I'm not sure what i would do if i saw that woman who wrote my reference.

My debt started as a result of working zero hour contracts, losing my job and finding it difficult to get a new one (if your last job gives you a bad reference how can you get a new job?), and yes, i was stupid and selfish with money.

I am getting quite emotional now. Because of some spiteful women I used to work with I am staying at home instead of seeing my old beloved campus.

I am missing the opportunity to catch up with old friends because in the weeks preceding tonight i have become so stressed and anxious about the thought of going that i knew going would be ill advised.

I have made mistakes. I have suffered as a result of mistakes I have made. But i have also suffered as a result of cruel and prejudiced former colleagues. I am still so traumatised by what happened that i am finding it difficult to move on. I live with the fear of doing something wrong at work and being fired, because i was fired for doing nearly nothing wrong.

I need to move on, but i knew going tonight wouldn't solve anything and could possibly bring up bad memories.

Flo's Debt Free Diary

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