Changing will of a person with dementia
Options
Comments
-
Thanks for replies. Needed a couple of days off to rest my mind iyswim.
Brother and I have joint LPA for finances. Nothing regarding health. Which is what I'm concerned about.
Over weekend brother has called the care agency concerned that he can't get through to mum on the phone. They have not contacted me. It was lunchtime carer today who told me! I've rang care agency today and demanded to know when he called. If he was so concerned why not get in touch with another family member who could tell me?
Also the times care has been cancelled and when her medication hasn't been given. Despite me talking to one of their staff last week and he assured me it was flagged that nobody but me could cancel care, I've learnt that brother cancelled today's care as he 'was visiting'. Funnily enough it would have coincided with mums assessment day that was cancelled. And he never turned up!0 -
Mum doesn't have a solicitor....yet. And our surgery has been run by locums who don't know Mum.
It's 100% my brother who wants the will changed. Mum never talks about money ever. In fact you can't have a real in depth conversation with her. She still can't remember signing anything. If she has done she's been coerced by my brother.
He knows mum and dad had mirror wills. They leave the house and contents to me and any residue i.e. Cash, between us. Dad was sharp as a tack till the day he died 17 months ago. He made me read the will and was adamant it was what he and mum wanted. As I said previously, brother has only visited once or twice a year for many many years. Dad passes away and suddenly he's up here regularly knowing mums got dementia.
I told dad that I would take care of the kids, mine and brothers. Dad had specific requests ...not written but his brothers knew about them....he told me but brother hasn't let me carry them out.
Without a doubt brother is only interested in money. The last time we spoke was after brother had ignored me for almost six months. I told him I don't expect him up here all the time, but a bit of support by phone would be nice. That was when I was verbally abused. I didn't take it lying down!
. He'd had a drink and was in my face with his fists clenched.
All of this has been making me so ill.
Any advice would be so helpful.0 -
When you say your mum doesn't have a solicitor yet, who has written to the doctors asking for an opinion about her capacity?No reliance should be placed on the above! Absolutely none, do you hear?0
-
My brother has got solicitor to write to my mums psychiatrist. With a letter attached from my mum giving her permission to be assesed to sign 'her will'.
When I say my brother. The psychiatrists secretary said there was no name on the solicitors letter about who instructed them. After informing them mum already had a will she spoke to the psychiatrist.
She then called me back and said psychiatrist wouldn't do the assessment as planned as he was unaware of all the facts and he was writing back to the solicitor.
Then she says she would call my brother as a after of courtesy. Brother has never been in contact with psychiatrist before.0 -
DesperateScousewife wrote: »My brother has got solicitor to write to my mums psychiatrist. With a letter attached from my mum giving her permission to be assesed to sign 'her will'.
When I say my brother. The psychiatrists secretary said there was no name on the solicitors letter about who instructed them. After informing them mum already had a will she spoke to the psychiatrist.
She then called me back and said psychiatrist wouldn't do the assessment as planned as he was unaware of all the facts and he was writing back to the solicitor.
Then she says she would call my brother as a after of courtesy. Brother has never been in contact with psychiatrist before.
That's certainly put a really big spoke in his wheel!
I cannot see why the solicitor wrote to the psychiatrist unless he was instructed by your mother. I think you should work on the basis that he is your mother's solicitor.
What happens next depends on how determined your mother's new solicitor is to plough on. From the solicitor's point of view, it's difficult. He doesn't yet know whether your mother is competent to instruct him and pay his fees. I do not think he can get paid by your brother if she isn't, so he's doing any work now on the off-chance that she is shown to be competent.
If your mother's doctors refuse to answer questions, the solicitor can commission an entirely independent report, but that could be very expensive, and the solicitor would initially have to fund the cost out of his own pocket. If the report comes back saying she is competent, she can pay all the costs (the psych's fee and the solicitor's fee), but if it comes back saying she isn't, the solicitor would end up out of pocket.No reliance should be placed on the above! Absolutely none, do you hear?0 -
What do you think of Sevenofnines suggestion about getting mum to write a letter saying she doesn't want an assessment or to change her will. Could maybe include her not remembering to sign any letter previously?
I think this would prove she is not capable of signing any legal documents. My daughter would chat to mum and ask her to do this. Last thing
I want to do is put mum under any stress.
Another thought.... mum hasn't left the house since 9th November last year. She couldn't actually go to a solicitors. Mums will is in my safe. When I last seen brother before he stopped communicating with me. He said mum wanted to see her will. I took it round there (copy) and she didn't look at it, just handed it to him.0 -
If you get her to sign a document, doesn't that just prove that in your view she has capacity?No reliance should be placed on the above! Absolutely none, do you hear?0
-
-
I don't think you should get her to sign anything unlessthere is clear proof that she has capacity. What has your brother done with the will? Is he likely to destroy it?DesperateScousewife wrote: »What do you think of Sevenofnines suggestion about getting mum to write a letter saying she doesn't want an assessment or to change her will. Could maybe include her not remembering to sign any letter previously?
I think this would prove she is not capable of signing any legal documents. My daughter would chat to mum and ask her to do this. Last thing
I want to do is put mum under any stress.
Another thought.... mum hasn't left the house since 9th November last year. She couldn't actually go to a solicitors. Mums will is in my safe. When I last seen brother before he stopped communicating with me. He said mum wanted to see her will. I took it round there (copy) and she didn't look at it, just handed it to him.0 -
Yorkshireman99 wrote: »Of course not! The person needs to understand what she is signing and the consquences of doing so. That is what "Capacity" means.
Can you explain that some more?No reliance should be placed on the above! Absolutely none, do you hear?0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 343.2K Banking & Borrowing
- 250.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 449.7K Spending & Discounts
- 235.3K Work, Benefits & Business
- 608.1K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 173.1K Life & Family
- 248K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 15.9K Discuss & Feedback
- 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards