Money Moral Dilemma: Should I buy an engagement gift for my fiance?

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  • happyinflorida
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    You what?!!

    I cannot believe that any man would say this and I don't care if it is 2017. If that is the case and that is his argument, then things are going backwards instead of forwards.

    Where's his manners? Where's his love for you and wanting to get you something special for a special occasion, something that is meant to show his love for you and end of, it's an engagement.

    I know some men would like a wedding gift and I did buy mine a Rolex watch, as a special surprise present and I got nothing!! But I knew he was the one and I knew we'd be together in 25 years time, which we have long passed that year!

    But if he'd asked me for a watch costing the same as an engagement ring, I don't think I would have felt he was the one at all.

    Personally I think you need to ask yourself a few questions over this man and maybe postpone moving into a new place with him and think very carefully over marrying him as I don't think he's got a very nice nature or is one to spend the rest of your life with.

    He isn't generous, he wants something back and of equal value.

    Not good, not good at all. This one isn't for keeping. If you were my daughter, I'd be telling you to run like the clappers.
  • deadasadodo
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    Give the ring back and wait for the right man to come along.
  • Kazykazbar
    Kazykazbar Posts: 10 Forumite
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    don't forget that the ring no matter what remains his until you marry that is the promise made if you split before your big day would you get the watch back there is a difference no one buys and engagement watch.
    Get him something good for his birthday if he loves you all will be well.
  • hazyjo
    hazyjo Posts: 15,470 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post Photogenic
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    Most girls keep the engagement ring (or throw it back at them :p) if they split up.


    The more I think about it, it sounds like he's worried you'll keep the ring if you split and he wants some sort of back-up insurance of something that cost the same!


    Jx
    2023 wins: *must start comping again!*
  • ksarah
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    warehouse wrote: »
    If he wants something back then you're marrying the wrong man.


    There's an underlying attitude here of giving and expecting something in return. If he's displaying that attitude at this stage of your relationship then you need to think carefully about whether you're making the right decision in accepting his proposal at all!
  • Mal25
    Mal25 Posts: 10 Forumite
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    Strange request. Think twice about marrying this guy. Doesn't sound the generous type if he expects an equal value present back.
  • [Deleted User]
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    I see feminism is alive and well in this thread :)

    Why shouldn't a girl give an equal engagement gift to the man? Maybe your father could help pay for it.

    Are you less important and able to provide for this relationship? Or.. have you just bought into several decades of stereotypes and marketing?
  • f0xh0les
    f0xh0les Posts: 6,878 Forumite
    First Anniversary Mortgage-free Glee! Photogenic Name Dropper
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    He only gets one after he turns up for the wedding.

    Doesn't sound like it will get that far.
    4/10/22One Year Mortgage Free Yay!
    NSTurtle # 55 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢🐢🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 🐢 No Turtle gets left behind.[/b]
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  • onlineo
    onlineo Posts: 46 Forumite
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    Hell no.

    option 1. Dump him, you don't need a husband that makes unreasonable demands.

    option 2. Dump him, you don't need a husband who thinks an expensive watch is a good idea. They play no part in life these days except to say my banker salary is bigger than yours, and no one likes a banker.

    option 3. Talk some sense into him, he can have a wedding ring.
  • System
    System Posts: 178,094 Community Admin
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    Or.. have you just bought into several decades of stereotypes and marketing?

    Yes.:D






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