Climbing the Mountain

Thanks EssexH, I haven't yet put it in the budget for next year, I'm still in the panicky what-the-h-am-I-going-to-do mode. Thanks for the reminder!:o

We are well stocked for food, energy is on a metre so no returns there. All surveys that pay out have already been cashed in. My rounding-down savings have been put into the current account and the little I had in payfriend transferred over, too. I've listed a couple things on evilbay but they are all sub £10, I have more to do today and tomorrow but really don't think I have enough to sell to cover even half of it, and who knows if it will even sell. I'm struggling a bit getting the listings up, my head is still a bit foggy and I keep making mistakes.

Hub not impressed, says he told me about said bill a few months back (I don't remember any conversation about it) and as he is on limited hours there is nothing he can do to help. He's really not happy and his patience for me not being up to par is running very thin. He has health problems and I know part of the impatience is feeling powerless because he cannot do more but I already feel like a failure, him piling it on isn't helping.

I feel such a fool. I ordered some promotional material for my newish business a couple weeks ago thinking all was well, had I not done that then I wouldn't be quite so panicky now. It has been printed and will soon be here, so I can't undo it now. I am hoping I will be 100% and able to take on more work very soon but I'm also afraid if I push myself I may wind up back in bed. I don't know what to do for the best.

The only thing I can think of doing at the moment is to continue to plug away at trying to sell things and not spend any money at all. I'll have another look in my wardrobe tomorrow to see if there is anything else that can go - I know there are two pairs of boots in good condition that I don't wear as much as I'd like, I could prob get £50 total so that's something. I also have a nice handbag that can go, but we're not talking big money. I hate selling things I would really like to keep but needs must, etc. I doubt I'll ever forget this bill again, it's certainly highlighted just how close to the wind we are sailing. The budget has been keeping us ticking over but actual saving hasn't been happening as it should, and the emergency fund was used last month for an emergency and not replaced.

Thank you all! I think a big part of feeling so down yesterday was the lack of sleep - I probably managed about 3 hours the night before. I went to bed fairly early last night and managed to have a bit of a lie in this morning, and feel much better for it.

I'm definitely brighter and thinking more logically today. I realised can raise the money if I sell a "tool of the trade" but I really want to avoid this if possible. It's something that I need and use in the side business, it would need to be replaced to take on more work and would likely cost twice what I sold this one for to replace. So that is a last resort and one I'd like to avoid if possible, but at least it is an option. I'm still listing things on evilbay and finding more that I can sell. I'm still doubting that it will come close to the total needed but at least I am taking some action, which has also made me feel a bit more in control.

Your comment made me laugh JVR - my hub does seem to think that I purposely get sick just to make his life harder. He's a good man really but there are times when I wonder what's going through his mind. I think he doesn't realise how much I do until I stop doing it.

Thanks again everyone, your support is really appreciated!