Advice needed - House or Wedding?

pollypenny · 3 March 2017 at 12:25PM

Primrose wrote: »

House first for me without a doubt. I,m shocked today when a I see the huge amounts people spend on weddings, going into debt, and then the couple moves into a rented property and spent a couple of years paying off wedding debts before they can even start saving for a house.
Is your fianc!e just mesmerised with the glamour of the wedding and keeping up with her friends? You sound as if you!ve got your head screwed on properly. You need to try and find a reasonable compromise but if you can,t son,t be pressured into going into debt for a few hours of glamour just to impress friends and family. Also be sure that that on other financial issues your ideas are in synch about saving and the use of credit or your marriage will be full of disruptive arguments.

I'm absolutely in agreement with this.

Go mad on a wedding, plus exotic honeymoon, not forgetting stag/hen nights in Prague or Tallin, then complain about baby boomers having it all.

[Deleted User] · 3 March 2017 at 12:44PM

onlyroz wrote: »

Can't say I've ever noticed anything particularly memorable about the seats, or the tables, about any wedding I've been to. Seems like a total waste of money to fork out for seat covers or fancy table arrangements. People want somewhere to sit, and a nice meal that they don't have to wait ages to get (and my biggest gripe about weddings is the time you spend standing around, starving hungry, often in the cold, while apparently nothing happens).

Look at this: http://chaircoversforcelebrations.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/blush-pink-at-the-Elvetham-P1.jpg

You can see the coordination between the flowers and the chair covers. The vases on the tables are high, so that no ones view is blocked.

Here, you can see a match between the bows on the back of the seats with the tablecloth - http://www.simplybowsandchaircovers.co.uk/simplybows/images/banner1.jpg

This stuff ends up important to creating a nice room. Sure, people will generally not notice it once the disco/band fires up. This stuff ends up important to brides

Can I remember my wedding colour scheme from 9 years ago? Nope, can't at all. I remember we had similar high vases. The best money we spent was on a good live band.

Pollycat · 3 March 2017 at 12:46PM

pollypenny wrote: »

Go mad on a wedding, plus exotic honeymoon, not forgetting stag/hen nights in Prague or Tallin, then complain about baby boomers having it all.

Love it! Love it! Love it! :T

Rain_Shadow · 3 March 2017 at 1:00PM

ringo_24601 wrote: »

Look at this: http://chaircoversforcelebrations.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/blush-pink-at-the-Elvetham-P1.jpg

You can see the coordination between the flowers and the chair covers. The vases on the tables are high, so that no ones view is blocked.

.

Oh my! That is seriously unpleasant.:rotfl:

mai_taylor · 3 March 2017 at 1:03PM

Pop_Up_Pirate wrote: »

Nobody is ever going to tell the bride what they really thought of the wedding. Everyone you ask will tell you what a lovely day it was, and it was all worth the time, money and effort blah blah.

Why wouldn't they enjoy a day of free food and booze?

catkins · 3 March 2017 at 1:05PM

davidwood123 wrote: »

If you've never lived together don't get married OR buy a house!

Me and OH got married without living together first and had only known each other 6 months and we celebrate our 36th anniversary this year.

selement wrote: »

OPs girlfriend is probably thinking she'll only get married once (I know this doesn't necessarily pan out but it's what most people believe) and wants it to feel like a genuinely special day with all the important friends and family there. I don't think wanting this is a bad thing and is less important than wanting a house. Although weddings can be done 'on the cheap' it is genuinely difficult to hire a venue and feed a large group of people for a small amount of money.

Why does there have to be a sit down 3 course meal though? It seems to cost a ridiculous amount - more than a really good restaurant in London would charge.

Me and OH wanted to be married before buying a house. We got married after 6 months of meeting so had very little money. All we wanted was to be together so a big show off wedding was never going to be our thing.

It's perfectly possible to have a wedding, whether register office or church, that doesn't cost a fortune. We had friends make our cake, provide the buttonholes and other flowers. We used OH's car to get us both to the register office. We and parents provided all the food for the buffet, a friend did the disco.

We both loved our wedding as did our family and friends.

Some of the best weddings we have been to have been the cheapest. Also most friends that spent fortunes on their weddings say they regret it as almost all of them went into debt for it (most are now divorced but that's a different story!).

Where I live property prices are going up almost by the day so I would never spend a lot on a wedding if it meant I had to delay buying

mai_taylor · 3 March 2017 at 1:06PM

Bean83 wrote: »

I will never understand why people on this forum are so judgemental about other people's weddings! What does it matter if a bride wants to spend hundreds of pounds on chair covers?! Just because YOU think it's a waste of money doesn't mean everyone else feels the same. Yes, a wedding can be done for a few hundred pounds, but it doesn't have to be. By that logic, nobody would ever buy anything expensive when the cheap version would do the same job - everyone would be driving old bangers, holidaying in Skegness and wearing clothes from Primark.

We spent £15000 on our wedding, and I don't regret a single penny. We had an amazing day and I'm pretty sure our friends and family enjoyed themselves too (and no, they're not just being polite!!!). This ridiculous reverse snobbery really gets on my nerves, implying that if you want a big wedding you're a bridezilla, or you 'only want a wedding and not a marriage'!

As for the OP, ignore all the judgemental rubbish about your poor girlfriend. peesumably she only wants to get married once (!), and wants to spend some money on it, what the heck is wrong with that?!

Couldn't agree more with this. We're not particularly well off but I don't regret for a second the amount we spent on our wedding, some people spend £20000 on a brand new car which looses it's value the second you drive it away and does the same job as one that's £5000 but I'm wouldn't dream of telling people that they're wasting their money.

Ames · 3 March 2017 at 1:09PM

Rain_Shadow wrote: »

Oh my! That is seriously unpleasant.:rotfl:

Oh good, not just me then!

davidwood123 wrote: »

Call her bluff.

Tell her she can have the wedding she wants but you'll have to move to a house in rough area to pay for it.

Someone who'd play such primary school playground mindgames shouldn't be in a relationship let alone getting married!

Save

mai_taylor · 3 March 2017 at 1:11PM

pollypenny wrote: »

I'm absolutely in agreement with this.

Go mad on a wedding, plus exotic honeymoon, not forgetting stag/hen nights in Prague or Tallin, then complain about baby boomers having it all.

Why the hell not if you want to, maybe we should all just sit at home and knit while paying off our £1000 a month mortgage, I'm sure on my death bed I'll be so happy with my expensive house and not be remembering all the times I went on holiday with friends and enjoyed my life.

pollypenny · 3 March 2017 at 1:51PM

mai_taylor wrote: »

Why the hell not if you want to, maybe we should all just sit at home and knit while paying off our £1000 a month mortgage, I'm sure on my death bed I'll be so happy with my expensive house and not be remembering all the times I went on holiday with friends and enjoyed my life.

Don't blame we baby boomers, then.

We've paid off our mortgage on our modest home and haven't got time to stay home knitting. We're too busy gallivanting.

Advice needed - House or Wedding?

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