What would you do

K789 · 11 November 2017 at 12:51AM

So I have been through the most difficult few years of my life and had one of the closest people to me backstab me and do their best to manipulate and turn as many people who used to be around me against me in the process.

During my difficult few years none of my family even attempted to reach out, despite everyone seeing that I was at rock bottom. Just for the record, I've poured a crazy amount of LOVE, TIME & MONEY into all of my so called close family members.

Anyway I recently had my first baby daughter& and reached out to all of my family and invited everyone over for a special occasion to meet my newborn and my fianc! & and everyone (15 people) all ignored the invite and to this day no1 has even met my daughter and she's 6months old. I haven't personally fallen out with anyone, and I thought I had good tight relationships with everyone.

However the person I mentioned in the beginning who stabbed me in the back and threw dirt on my name had a gathering and invited all of the same family members and they all showed up there.

I am obviously feeling let down and annoyed at everyone. There has never been a family member to have their child ignored in this way before. I am really confused, I have always been a stand up person with a good heart and always shown nothing but love.

Anyway I have decided to get married and am wondering if I should invite all of my family who have all been acting distant towards me.

Quite frankly I am p#ssed off with everyone for standing me up when I invited them to meet my daughter.

Do you think I should still invite them to my wedding?

After all it's a lot of extra expense for a bunch of people who do not seem to respect me and showed no compassion when I went through my difficult times. I never would have treated any of them like this!

Anyway should I invite them or not?

elsien · 11 November 2017 at 1:04AM

Are we talking parents/siblings or more distant family?
Have you tried talking to them to find out what's going on and why they didn't come?

K789 · 11 November 2017 at 1:23AM

All family besides my parents. So uncles aunts, siblings, cousins, nieces and nephews (all grown up)

K789 · 11 November 2017 at 1:25AM

I haven't because I don't feel like I'd get any true honesty

*max* · 11 November 2017 at 1:29AM

It's a little hard to believe your entire family would shun you without you even knowing why. I'm not saying they're right - but what did you do?? There has to be a reason, even if it's a stupid/shortsighted one.

K789 · 11 November 2017 at 1:56AM

I fell out with a snake in the family who is a master manipulator at turning people against each other

K789 · 11 November 2017 at 1:59AM

I haven't done anything bad towards none of them

ukwmo · 11 November 2017 at 2:16AM

Many families have members who manipulate others to their way of thinking. But your manipulator must've said something pretty damning to get the whole family to swerve such an important event, ignoring you and your child for a whole six months, without any one of them mentioning their reasons for their behaviour.

You must surely have an inkling why this happened.

K789 · 11 November 2017 at 2:23AM

Regardless of what's been said they should either talk to me if they've heard something off, and go by the good person they've known me to be.

For these reasons should I just cut them all out of my wedding? And could I be paranoid about their shade based on what I've told you so far?

ukwmo · 11 November 2017 at 2:45AM

Without knowing all your ins and outs.

If those family members are important to you, find out whats been said and by whom. And if it isn't true, challenge the person on it, present your case the way you see it and speak to your relatives about it, set the record straight. But bear in mind they may not wish to speak to you, so respect their boundaries. Phone them, drop them a letter.

Having done that, bottomline, if they've made it clear they still don't want to be part of your life then there's little point in inviting them to your wedding. And instead surround yourself with people you love and who love you on your special day.

K789 · 11 November 2017 at 2:58AM

I don't feel that I should have to though, if I've always gone above and beyond for people and always kept a good heart. Me being the one to reach out to people who have snubbed me and my child kinda makes my skin crawl.

I haven't done anything to anyone and feel disrespected that anyone even has the nerve to act differently towards me.

I am a good high moral person, I'm not perfect but who is.

I was on the verge of cutting them all off, but just wanted your perspectives on this before I do.

But honestly I feel that they all owe me more, than that and regardless of what lies may have been said I don't feel like I should be expaining myself. People should know who I am PERIOD

What would you do

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