my debt free diary.....time to make a change for myself and my boys!!!!

samboss0306 · 1 March 2009 at 6:41PM

hi Forris and thanks for your reply.
my oh enjoys snowboarding so i have said to him that i dont want him going again until our debt is cleared so that is a bit of an incentive for him!! he doesnt realise that he cant just go off snowboarding with his mates evey year (they dont have little ones yet) as he obviously does not get paid whilst he is away (being self employed) so we suffer and the credit cards come out again.

we are moving house in a few weeks so i dont know if it is worth changing suppliers for gas and elec etc until we move then i can defo shop around and find the cheapest price for everything. i dont know why are car insurance is so high i have 4 years no claims and i did go on a comparison site and this was the cheapest we found fully comp. i think it is because of the type of car it is and maybe because im only 23.

samboss0306 · 1 March 2009 at 6:43PM

no we have not got contents insurance a bit naughty i know but i just didnt want to add to the money already going out. what are these cashback sites called? thanks
xxx

trina2010 · 1 March 2009 at 7:22PM

even based on that your car insurance shouldnt be so high.

Im only 22 and paying less than half of what you are and I have a Megane doing 400 miles a week for work all factored into it.
Ive just done a search for your car to see why its so expensive......its insurance group 16?!!!!!!!Get rid, get a group 1-5 car that will be a huge chunk off your insurance (mines only a 3)

sorry but thats just really shocked me.

Forris · 1 March 2009 at 9:11PM

samboss0306 wrote: »

no we have not got contents insurance a bit naughty i know but i just didnt want to add to the money already going out. what are these cashback sites called? thanks
xxx

The 2 sites I use are Quidco and Topcashback. You register on the sites (TCB is free, Quidco is £5 per year), then when you buy anything online form one of the affiliated companies, and there are many, you click through from the cashback website to the seller's website and order as normal.

The cashback can take around 3 months to be paid but, hey, it's free money. We made £350 last year, just doing stuff we would normally do anyway, but via a cashback site. I'm actually getting to be a bit of a cashback evangelist!!

Oh, and I agree with Trina2010 - change your car!

samboss0306 · 1 March 2009 at 9:34PM

im really woried about talking to oh about selling the car and getting a cheaper one as it is his pride and joy!!! :mad:

he is not even speaking to me at the mo as i have said to him that he really needs to stop spending so much and maybe leave his debit card at home in the day so he wont get the urge to spend on it. i make him lunch so he has no need for anything in the day but still seems to "need" something from the shop everyday!!!

im getting really fed up as i am trying my best to sort this debt out and have managed to save £400 in my savings account without him knowing so i can pay something off and all he does is spend or moan that he has no money when he is mainly responsible for us being in this mess. im not making excuses as i know i could of said no when he wanted a new car, motorbike or snowboarding holiday with his MATES!!!! but when you have to put up with the constant tantrums an not speaking to me for days its easier to say yes and bury my head in the sand. Rant over now. sorry.

thanks for giving me the details for the casback sites very much appreciated. xxx

Forris · 1 March 2009 at 10:34PM

If he is having 'tantrums' like a child then the best thing to do is to treat him as one, and don't give in! I'm sure it isn't easy for you and maybe you need more than just financial advice, but if you don't start this as a couple then you may not finish it as one either.

We started sorting our finances out in October after I made a complete mess of things. My big confession was the day before my 40th birthday! My wife marked it on the calender as 'Disaster Day!' I now allow myself £10 per week pocket money. We deal with all finances together but my wife has full control over the accounts, and we are slowly making headway.

I apologise if I sound harsh at times, I am useless at 'personal' stuff and empathy, but I hope you manage to get him to see sense.

TismE_3 · 1 March 2009 at 10:53PM

samboss0306 wrote: »

im really woried about talking to oh about selling the car and getting a cheaper one as it is his pride and joy!!! :mad:

he is not even speaking to me at the mo as i have said to him that he really needs to stop spending so much and maybe leave his debit card at home in the day so he wont get the urge to spend on it. i make him lunch so he has no need for anything in the day but still seems to "need" something from the shop everyday!!!

im getting really fed up as i am trying my best to sort this debt out and have managed to save £400 in my savings account without him knowing so i can pay something off and all he does is spend or moan that he has no money when he is mainly responsible for us being in this mess. im not making excuses as i know i could of said no when he wanted a new car, motorbike or snowboarding holiday with his MATES!!!! but when you have to put up with the constant tantrums an not speaking to me for days its easier to say yes and bury my head in the sand. Rant over now. sorry.

thanks for giving me the details for the casback sites very much appreciated. xxx

Hiya samboss, welcome to msn,:T
I think alot of peeps here have this problem, i certainly do, or should i say did! Oh is finely coming round to the idea!! woooo hoooo!!
It is hard to start with and if you can show your OH what you are willing to 'give up' he might become less hostile towards your money saving, than if he thinks its all him having to give things up! Hope that makes sense.....
A example of this is i was saving for a wii and wii fit, but now im more determind to pay off my debts than spend on this 'want' and have told my OH that the money i have saved is now going to used to pay off some of my overdraft, and share with him what im learning on here , he's now more responsive to making changes and making savings!!

Stick to you guns, tell how much you want to get rid of your debts and talk about how great it will be once you are both debt free! it can work wonders just to talk.

Take it one step at a time and just keep going !!
Best wishes, and keep posting!!
Tisme x

P.S We have payment meters for gas and lekky :eek: and we pay an extortionate amount per week!! standing charge and charges for emergancy credit are really bad, we really need to get some advice on this ourselves, as im not sure as to what we can do about it!?......i'm a newbie myself x
best advice for now for when you move would be make sure your not using the emergancy credit.

TurnaroundSue · 1 March 2009 at 11:59PM

Start a spending diary. Write everything down and it will soon become apparent where all your monies are going each month. You really do need your OH on board though as all the good you are doing is being undone by him. Explain how you want to get out of debt and when you do he can then have his treats; until then he has to rein his horns in as well as you are together as a couple and then means financially as well.

Maybe you should put on your SOA that there is 1 adult in your household and 3 children, coz that appears to be the way he is acting. Sorry if this seems harsh, but it really does need him completely on board to make this journey easier.

Francesanne · 2 March 2009 at 12:28AM

If your youngest child is at nursery, couldn't you look for a part time job? I know times are hard job wise but you might be fortunate and it would be a great help. Your mobile phone bill seems incredibly high.

samboss0306 · 2 March 2009 at 1:21AM

hi TismE thanks for replying to my post. do you know if it is possible to have a key meter changed so i can pay monthly if you get wot i mean?! i would prefer key meter as it saves a direct coming out each month at £50 but with 2 little ones (i mean 3 like you said turnaroundSue!!) its just not practical to be running out of gas or elec at unexpected times!!!

oh is now speaking to me, well he is downstairs playing mario kart on the wii!! he really does act like a child at times. :mad:

anyway thanks again to everyone and please keep the advise coming!!:j

xxx

my debt free diary.....time to make a change for myself and my boys!!!!

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