Should I ask my student son to pay housekeeping?

Marvel1 · 12 October 2016 at 11:13PM

Yes,it will teach them about budgeting in the future when they pay their own bills.

lika_86 · 13 October 2016 at 12:06AM

Definitely ask him to contribute.

However, I would also be encouraging him to only spend what he has to from his loan. I graduated in 2007 with £14,000 in student loans (mostly living costs, maybe £1000 in tuition fees) and it was only at the start of last year that I finally paid it off and only then because I work in the city and so was paying about £300 a month back, most of my friends have barely made any impression on theirs. It's a lot of money to have to pay back and if you don't end up in a high-paying job it's like an additional tax for being a graduate. Another deduction from your salary.

Peter333 · 13 October 2016 at 5:10AM

Yes he should be paying something IMO. He is an adult, and no matter how many different ways you look at it, he is costing you extra money; electric, heating, washing, food, cooking etc. And if he has all that money spare, what he he doing with it?

I would have £100 a month personally, but if £50 is all you want, then just ask for £50. If he takes exception to it, he is free to leave, and see if he can get anywhere else to live for £12 a week, with rent, lighting, heating, electric, food, washing, meals cooked, internet, council tax, and water rates included.

I find it incomprehensible that some people let their adult working children live at home for free when they are adults, earning a wage! It sends out a terrible message IMO.

Camster · 13 October 2016 at 7:28AM

Peter333 wrote: »

Yes he should be paying something IMO. He is an adult, and no matter how many different ways you look at it, he is costing you extra money; electric, heating, washing, food, cooking etc. And if he has all that money spare, what he he doing with it?

I would have £100 a month personally, but if £50 is all you want, then just ask for £50. If he takes exception to it, he is free to leave, and see if he can get anywhere else to live for £12 a week, with rent, lighting, heating, electric, food, washing, meals cooked, internet, council tax, and water rates included.

I find it incomprehensible that some people let their adult working children live at home for free when they are adults, earning a wage! It sends out a terrible message IMO.

That just about sums up my view of the situation. Although I don't need the money and could let him live with us free, I think it's more a matter of principle that he is now an adult and should make some contribution to the household expenses that he is benefiting from.

Thanks everyone for your comments. I will be speaking to him soon about this. He's very sensible and level headed, so I don't foresee any issues from him about this.

bugslet · 13 October 2016 at 7:57AM

I think that he should pay something towards the household given his income, more for the principle than anything else.

You could always stick the £50.00 in an interest account ( if you can find one paying anything!) and give it back to him when he leaves to set up home on his own or gets his first car, if that appeals to you.

jackieblack · 13 October 2016 at 8:19AM

After living away for the last two years, my daughter moved back home at the start of the summer as the final year of her degree is on placement five minutes away. I am recently divorced and had been living alone for the previous 15 months. I am on a water meter and only put the heating on for an hour a day last winter as I am on a strict budget.
My daughter brought home a fish tank with a heater and light which has to stay on all day, persistently leaves her multiple electronic devices on standby, will put on the washing machine with only two or three in, etc etc. In addition, her fianc! has been here most of the summer (four months) taking long showers, increasing the laundry and spending all day and half the night on his games console and/or gaming on his computer. One night they forgot to turn off the electric oven after cooking their dinner and didn't realise until the next morning:eek:

So, while having her at home is lovely, it has increased my bills significantly. I have asked her for £80 a month to cover her share of the bills. I put in the same and if there is anything left over when she moves out we will share it 50/50

System · 13 October 2016 at 9:17AM

So, while having her at home is lovely, it has increased my bills significantly. I have asked her for £80 a month to cover her share of the bills. I put in the same and if there is anything left over when she moves out we will share it 50/50

I dont blame you. I'd do the same.

Ilona · 13 October 2016 at 9:19AM

Yes, ask your son for housekeeping, even if you don't need it. The best lesson you can teach him is money in and money out, and nothing is free. My first wage was £3.50, my mother took half of that. She was a good teacher. I have never been in debt except a mortgage. Good luck.
Ilona

Rain_Shadow · 13 October 2016 at 9:25AM

Judi wrote: »

Whilst we were supporting our kids in full time education we supported them financially also.

I'm with this. My sons work(ed) in the long vacs when at university but I didn't take any contribution from them. I don't think the amount of university work that they had to do would have allowed them to take a job in term time and, indeed, DS2's university tells students not to work in term time because they will have too much studying to do to allow time for work.

They both lived away from home and that gave them an introduction to budgeting for themselves.

Lucyxx · 13 October 2016 at 11:26AM

Me and my OH are already disagreeing over this and it is a long way off us having to make a decision. My parents never made us pay for anything, and that is how I would be. His parents made him pay his way as soon as he had a part time job, but then his dad had thousands of pounds of secret debts, took out secret loans jointly in his mums name, ran off with someone else and left OH as the man of the house.

I would just be happy if my children cooked dinner, chipped in with chores etc but my stance on it might change if they had that disposable income and were frittering it away on rubbish/going out, then I might think that making them pay their way would be a much needed lesson.

I have heard of parents taking money but secretly saving it all in an account ready to hand back years down the line towards a house deposit etc. that is quite a nice idea.

Should I ask my student son to pay housekeeping?

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