We can't afford to live together and have children

fairy_lights · 19 May 2017 at 10:36AM

Is moving to a cheaper area an option? Have you looked in to shared ownership? Or, if you buy a house with a spare room, getting a lodger?

JPB156 · 19 May 2017 at 10:39AM

If we move we will be paying more for travel, we both live and work in same town. Shared ownership properties were something we were considering a few years back but never see any available around here

Pa_Ja · 19 May 2017 at 10:40AM

What do you mean , you have savings for childcare?

Given your partners income, she maybe better off as a stay at home mum rather than paying for someone else to watch your child.
Why not look at properties around 80k-120k.
Take your mortgage out over a longer term of 30-35 yrs and reduce your payments to around £350 a month.

Fireflyaway · 19 May 2017 at 10:44AM

Firstly you have done amazing to save up such a good deposit! That takes some commitment and you are doing it the right way, not moving before you are ready or getting into debt.
I do feel for you. Housing is so expensive. Could you find a cheaper place? Somewhere in a cheaper area or something that needs as bit of doing up? Alternatively could you rent? Keep the deposit squirreled away and in the future it will be waiting for you once your income improves. I am job hunting and not getting anywhere fast so I totally understand its not as easy as just earning more money. Have you explored shared ownership or social housing? Renting from a housing association should be cheaper than private rent and more secure. You could do that for a while? One other point. Don't feel the pressure to buy. Renting doesn't mean you have failed. Not owning a house doesn't make you less successful. I'm renting and get comments like this from my patents! You are 'throwing your money away' or ' paying someone else's mortgage'. Long term buying is good but do what is right for you now. Having a mortgage that is so huge you can't then afford to have a child or never get to go out would just be another kind of stress. There is more than 1 way to sort your housing situation and it might take several steps and combinations along the way. Good luck.

JPB156 · 19 May 2017 at 10:45AM

We have some left after the deposit but if we were unable to save that would also have to cover any extra expenses for things going wrong over the course of the mortgage. The only properties around 100000 mark need renovating and the mortgage term we looked at is already at maximum 32 years as they want it to be paid before retirement

p00hsticks · 19 May 2017 at 10:46AM

JPB156 wrote: »

I am 35 and she is 30 and we have been together for 11 years, we are living with our parents

Can you clarify - are you each individually living separately with your respective parents, or are you both living together with one or other set of parents ?

To me, your posts come across as someone who seems to be looking for one reason or another not to progress the relationship .....

jackieblack · 19 May 2017 at 10:47AM

IAmWales wrote: »

If your partner is only 30 she has many child bearing years ahead of her, it's not unusual to have children into your early 40s.

Wow... sweeping generalisation much??
That's a very cavalier attitude.

It might be more common now for women to put off having children until their late 30s/40s for financial/career reasons, but it's by no reason a certainty that they will be able to (and yes, I know it's not a certainty at any age but fertility starts to decline more rapidly after 35)

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Fertility/Pages/Protectyourfertility.aspx

OP
If we all waited until the future were guaranteed, no-one would ever do anything.
The affordability test that lenders are obliged to carry out assumes a rate increase to (IIRC) 7%.
Lots of things might happen over the course of a 25 year mortgage and raising a family - somehow most people manage to find a way.

laidbackgjr · 19 May 2017 at 10:49AM

Also bear in mind that if interest rates rise to 10% - then rents will rise as well - so whether you are paying a mortgage or renting (paying someone else's mortgage) you are likely to see similar effects if interest rates rise. So whilst it's good to consider the challenges in that environment - it's very difficult to escape the impacts.

Malthusian · 19 May 2017 at 10:50AM

JPB156 wrote: »

Shared ownership properties were something we were considering a few years back but never see any available around here

Lucky you, you've dodged a bullet. Shared ownership houses are a millstone because you are at the mercy of increases in service charges and ground rent and many mortgage lenders won't touch it. Either rent or buy but don't be a politician's project.

If you love the house then buy it. You don't know what will happen in the future. You have plenty of time left to think about children and there is plenty of scope for your income to increase.

Your parents have helped you out by letting you live with them rent-free - would they not be similarly helpful with childcare?

Guest101 · 19 May 2017 at 10:51AM

JPB156 wrote: »

Hi have just joined the forum because me and my girlfriend are feeling so low in our situation.

I am 35 and she is 30 and we have been together for 11 years, we are living with our parents and have been saving for a house, we earn about 34000 between us - so basically minimum wage? and have about 2300 a month after tax. We have found a house we both love but house prices are now so stupidly high, it's 190000 and we have a 40000 deposit. - well why don't you rent? We can get a mortgage but we are worried about affording it in the future if interest rates rise, we feel we will be fine for a while but if we are paying anything above 10% we won't be able to do it and how can we put faith in it not going to that rate in the next 30 years.

We want children and feel time isn't on our side there but if we have one then any savings we have would go on childcare so how would we pay for anything such as a car when ours has given up on us. A cheaper house is an option but there is so little choice in this area and feel if we wait much longer we will be priced out even more, rental prices are just as bad and keep going up aswell and then how do we pay rent after retirement. there is not much prospect of us earning more in the future.

We just feel so trapped and that we will not only be unable to ever live together but also that means never having children. We feel so low and I've never felt worse, our relationship is so strong but I really feel scared for us and not being able to give her what she wants and deserves.

Sorry for the long post

I think you need to stop worrying and start doing.

We survive just fine with less income than that and kids

We can't afford to live together and have children

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