Funeral help

zombie1387 · 14 October 2016 at 8:46PM

my mother died last week and my brother took it upon himself to arrange the funeral. which is next week, he has already advised me that i need to pay half of the 5K towards the funeral which is being dealt with on a repayment plan basis by the funeral director.

but i was told today that my brother need £500 from me tomorrow to pay for half of the deposit. i wont sugar coat things i was on benefits technically i still am, but i sign a work contract today and start next week, after mums funeral. but now i'm kinda stuck on what to do i dont have £500 nor can i get it, my wife is pregnant due in 4 weeks, i have a 2 year old, and i just dont know what to do, i tried to get various loans today but i knew that wouldn't work, i also set up a gofundme page but so far i have had one donation of £5. the DWP wont help as my brother works.

does anyone have any advice please, i'm extremely stressed right now and worried.

thank you

Neil

[Deleted User] · 14 October 2016 at 8:56PM

Speak to your brother. Can he pay the deposit and you reimburse him later?

Robin9 · 14 October 2016 at 8:57PM

My condolences.

Is there likely to be enough money in your Mum's estate ? If so the Bank will pay the funeral costs direct from the account.

Is there a will ?

Yorkshireman99 · 14 October 2016 at 9:01PM

zombie1387 wrote: »

my mother died last week and my brother took it upon himself to arrange the funeral. which is next week, he has already advised me that i need to pay half of the 5K towards the funeral which is being dealt with on a repayment plan basis by the funeral director.

but i was told today that my brother need £500 from me tomorrow to pay for half of the deposit. i wont sugar coat things i was on benefits technically i still am, but i sign a work contract today and start next week, after mums funeral. but now i'm kinda stuck on what to do i dont have £500 nor can i get it, my wife is pregnant due in 4 weeks, i have a 2 year old, and i just dont know what to do, i tried to get various loans today but i knew that wouldn't work, i also set up a gofundme page but so far i have had one donation of £5. the DWP wont help as my brother works.

does anyone have any advice please, i'm extremely stressed right now and worried.

thank you

Neil

Your brother has contracted to pay for the funeral and is liable for the cost. He could have got is done for less than half the figure quoted, You have no legal obligation to pay. The local council or the hospital would have paid if your brother had said there was no money.

elsien · 14 October 2016 at 9:01PM

I'm sorry for your loss.

Technically, as your brother has arranged the funeral, he is responsible for paying for it. If you don't have the money, then you don't have the money - that's his problem not yours. If you didn't agree or sign anything then you have no liability in law - whether you want to pay towards it or not is a separate matter.
Don't put yourself in debt for something you didn't agree to - you have enough on your plate. And if necessary, your brother can tell the funeral director he can't afford it and look for a less expensive package. He's not paid the deposit so I'm sure it can still be changed.
However, the costs should come out of your mum's estate if there is one. Do you know if there is enough money/assets to cover it in due course?

zombie1387 · 14 October 2016 at 9:11PM

thank you for the replies, she had no will, she was on benifits living in a council house, as far as i'm aware there is not much money in her account maybe £700 or so, the only reason the funeral was 5K is because she wanted to be buried in a family plot which she owned.

elsien · 14 October 2016 at 9:14PM

If she already owned it, I'm struggling to see why the bill is so high as the plot should already be paid for. Have you seen a breakdown of the costs? Has your brother added things you can manage without, such as a more expensive coffin, or funeral cars?
Without wanting to sound insensitive, could your mum be cremated and have her ashes out in the plot? Would she have wanted to see you both in debt to cover the costs?

Yorkshireman99 · 14 October 2016 at 9:17PM

zombie1387 wrote: »

thank you for the replies, she had no will, she was on benifits living in a council house, as far as i'm aware there is not much money in her account maybe £700 or so, the only reason the funeral was 5K is because she wanted to be buried in a family plot which she owned.

The £700 should go towards the funeral costs.

zombie1387 · 14 October 2016 at 9:29PM

elsien wrote: »

If she already owned it, I'm struggling to see why the bill is so high as the plot should already be paid for. Have you seen a breakdown of the costs? Has your brother added things you can manage without, such as a more expensive coffin, or funeral cars?
Without wanting to sound insensitive, could your mum be cremated and have her ashes out in the plot? Would she have wanted to see you both in debt to cover the costs?

apparently the funeral director said there was a £1000 charge for the grave to be dug, also there is 2 cars booked, some flowers and the burial, we did speak about burial or cremation and burial was decided, but now i think cremation would be a better financially.

McKneff · 14 October 2016 at 9:50PM

Apart from the hearse, you dont need any cars at all, just go in your own vehicles or on public transport.

I think your brother could still ask DWP for help with the costs, dont ask, dont get x

zombie1387 · 14 October 2016 at 10:03PM

McKneff wrote: »

Apart from the hearse, you dont need any cars at all, just go in your own vehicles or on public transport.

I think your brother could still ask DWP for help with the costs, dont ask, dont get x

I asked the DWP as i was claiming JSA they told me they can't help because my brother needs to be claiming aswell, the only way i could do it is if i say i dont have a brother which for obvious reason wont work, as they have to pay the funeral directors directly.

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