PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING
Hello Forumites! However well-intentioned, for the safety of other users we ask that you refrain from seeking or offering medical advice. This includes recommendations for medicines, procedures or over-the-counter remedies. Posts or threads found to be in breach of this rule will be removed.THE Prepping thread - a new beginning :)
Options
Comments
-
I'll make a wild leap & presume the son is sort of mobile - bus pass or whatever - I'd be asking who is he doing homework with each night, and inviting him & a pal or pals over for a cauldron of stew &/or a stack of home made pizzas at weekends. Yes one to one is dodgy, but one to several is much safer.
I suspect he'll end up with auntie anyway but I do hope he stays out of care & with family.0 -
Thanks DFV.
Ah, well that's the thing...
If any schoolmates got to hear the lad was home alone, the house would no doubt be 'party central' for two weeks.
I tried to warn my friend about this. I said you'll be getting texts over in Africa:
1.) We see smoke coming from your house.
2.) Your house is on fire.
3.) Your house is ashes.
Didn't cut any ice, I'm afraid.0 -
Then your pal is an idiot. He needs to man up and act like the parent he went to court to be; stay home with the lad or take the lad with him.
Let's assume the best; the lad keeps his lip zipped in front of teachers, ancillary staff and other people's parents that he's home alone. He doesn't tell his pals (improbable) and they don't somehow find out , he comes straight home from school every day and locks the doors behind him amd stays quietly home all evening and at weekends.
Is he going to be responsible for keeping himself and the family home secure? What's going to happen if he loses a key, or goes off to bed or off to school and leave the door unlocked? Or puts something metallic in the microwave or leaves the gas on? Or spends the princely £20 in the first five days and lives on nothing for the rest of the fortnight? What if Papa's return journey is delayed?
What if some unsavoury type spots what's going on and tricks his way into the home? The child could end up raped and/ or murdered.
Even council contractors conducting repairs do NOT go into homes if the only person present is under 18, not even for five minutes to change a tap washer, it's that tough.
If your friend cannot be made to see sense and does this thing, I would strongly suggest that you do not have this youngster to your home, or visit him in his home. You might even have to have a talk with your own conscience about contacting the auntie.Every increased possession loads us with a new weariness.
John Ruskin
Veni, vidi, eradici
(I came, I saw, I kondo'd)
0 -
Just a shot in the dark as an idea but does your friend and his son attend a church? there might be a great deal of support available from the congregation if they needed it.0
-
jk0 - your friend has put you in a very difficult position, and you need to make that clear to him. You have to consider your own moral and ethical stance on this, and think about what YOU think is the right thing to do for his son, not for him.
I know what I think... and started to type what I thought you should do - but it's not down to me, so you need to decide for yourself.0 -
Thanks Mrs L.
My friend is rather confused about his religion. He told me he was a Muslim for 15 years, until one day he let slip he was baptised as a Mormon.
I think he goes to Mosque now rather than Temple.
I think maybe GQ's idea about having a word with auntie is probably the best one.0 -
jk0 - your friend has put you in a very difficult position, and you need to make that clear to him. You have to consider your own moral and ethical stance on this, and think about what YOU think is the right thing to do for his son, not for him.
I know what I think... and started to type what I thought you should do - but it's not down to me, so you need to decide for yourself. My thoughts exactly. I know what I feel I would have to do if I was aware of such a situation. Every increased possession loads us with a new weariness.
John Ruskin
Veni, vidi, eradici
(I came, I saw, I kondo'd)
0 -
jko
You mentioned about a girlfriend of yours a while back. Is she still on the scene?/steady?/gets on okay with children?
As in - maybe if the pair of you were keeping an eye on him/ensuring he's fed/etc? Then it wouldnt be a man on his own...bearing in mind the 2010s are a very politically correct decade to live in 'tis true.0 -
That makes a great deal of sense JKO, you wouldn't forgive yourself if anything happened to the lad, the house or to the father while they were your responsibility, and health care in Africa is not as easily accessed as it is here so Dad becoming poorly and having to delay his return to the UK is not beyond credibility is it? then you would be faced with the task of not only keeping all safe and secure but providing sustenance etc. for the boy until his relatives (if they would) could take responsibility for him. £20 isn't going to do a great deal in 2 weeks, what if that turned into 2 months?0
-
jk0: I can only repeat what everyone else has said. It is highly unlikely that this situation will not be spotted and the consequences could be dire for both the boy and his father.
As GQ said, even if the boy lives like an agrophobic monk while his father is away there is no guarantee that an emergency won't arise that the boy is unable to cope with.
There are few 15 year old boys who have the life experience to organise themselves for even a couple of weeks on their own.....and on £20???
I have brought up 2 of my own boys and several of other people's and possibly know what I am talking about. The first time I went on holiday leaving my eldest, aged 18, on his own I spent weeks before hand issuing the rules and regulations, making lists of dos and don'ts, filling the freezer with meals, warning the neighbours, dotting the "i"s and crossing the "t"s and organising the local branch of MI5 to keep their eyes peeled.
Content that I had covered all the bases I set of for a holiday in France. I had only driven for about 15 minutes when I realised that I had left a vital document behind. Turning around I drove back home. I had been gone for about half an hour. The party was in full swing as I turned into the drive. The music was blaring, the girls were hanging out of the windows - they must have been hiding in the bushes as I left, and more revellers were arriving. I grabbed my documents, uttered blood curdling threats and left, calling in at my friendly local police station as I passed on my way to the ferry port, to alert them to the situation.
If your friend thinks that leaving a 15 year old on his own is appropriate parenting he really shouldn't have custody.
I understand how you feel that you should help the boy but just be aware that you may be implicated if something goes badly wrong.
What a wretched situation. Sorry I can't help much more.
xI believe that friends are quiet angels
Who lift us to our feet when our wings
Have trouble remembering how to fly.0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 343.3K Banking & Borrowing
- 250.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 449.7K Spending & Discounts
- 235.3K Work, Benefits & Business
- 608.1K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 173.1K Life & Family
- 248K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 15.9K Discuss & Feedback
- 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards