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Boyfriend wants to move in with me
missstropy
Posts: 7,763 Forumite
Hi everyone
Ive been worried about posting on this thread for being labeled a scrounger, but I really do need some advice.
I am a single parent with 3 children ages 16, 11 and 5. My eldest is severley disabled and gets the higher rate of DLA for mobility and care. I simply cannot work due to the time I would need to care for my daughter.
In benefits I receive
£50.55 Carers Allowance week
£43.90 Child Benefit week
£236.64 Income support week
I also get Mortgage interest relief of something like £200 month
Free school meals
Council Tax Benefit
High rate DLA mobility andCare for daughter
Would all my money stop altogether if BF moved in. Im panicking about paying off my credit cards and bills. Is he expected to pay everything when he moves in even though the children are not his. At the moment Im keeping my head above water by myself, but I think I would be a lot worse off if he moved in.
He hasnnt told me what his wages are at the moment as he started a new job but I think he is on 19,000 a year.
Ive been worried about posting on this thread for being labeled a scrounger, but I really do need some advice.
I am a single parent with 3 children ages 16, 11 and 5. My eldest is severley disabled and gets the higher rate of DLA for mobility and care. I simply cannot work due to the time I would need to care for my daughter.
In benefits I receive
£50.55 Carers Allowance week
£43.90 Child Benefit week
£236.64 Income support week
I also get Mortgage interest relief of something like £200 month
Free school meals
Council Tax Benefit
High rate DLA mobility andCare for daughter
Would all my money stop altogether if BF moved in. Im panicking about paying off my credit cards and bills. Is he expected to pay everything when he moves in even though the children are not his. At the moment Im keeping my head above water by myself, but I think I would be a lot worse off if he moved in.
He hasnnt told me what his wages are at the moment as he started a new job but I think he is on 19,000 a year.
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I did but I dont understand it. Eldest daughter is entitled to benefits in her right but they are mixed in with mine as she cant do it for herself. Im a bit dim when it comes to things like entitledto. He hasnt actually moved in yet.
Thank you for reply though.0 -
It should affect your entitlements and rightly so, if he wants to move in then Im assuming hes accepted the fact you have 3 kids etc and by getting in a relationship with you he is taking on the responibility of your kids.
Im not labelling you as a scrounger but think for a minute. You get all your council tax paid, half your mortgage paid and the highest rate of benefits for all because you are a SINGLE mum then on top of all that 19,000 from the boyfriend. If you didnt declare him he would bascially be living for free at your house.
Your one working family household will have more to spend than my two working family household and my OH earns more than your OH!99.9% of my posts include sarcasm!Touch my bum :money:Tesco - £1000 , Carpet - £20, Barclaycard - £50, HSBC - £50 + Car - £1700SAVED =£0Debts - £28500 -
If you really dont understand may i suggest you go/telephone to you local c.a.b office. They will let you know what you would and wouldnt be entitled to.0
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Hi misstropy,
You will lose your Income Support, and due to this you will also lose mortgage interest payments, free school meals, and possibly CTB also.
However, as he is in employment you will be able to claim Working Tax Credits (I am assuming that you are receiving Child Tax Credits at the moment?), and depending on his income, you may still receive free school meals and get some CTB.
Have another go at entitledto. It can look confusing, but ignore what you get now, and think about what you would be getting if he moved in:
£19K income from employment
Carers Allowance
DLA
That will give you a decent estimation xGone ... or have I?0 -
It should affect your entitlements and rightly so, if he wants to move in then Im assuming hes accepted the fact you have 3 kids etc and by getting in a relationship with you he is taking on the responibility of your kids.
Im not labelling you as a scrounger but think for a minute. You get all your council tax paid, half your mortgage paid and the highest rate of benefits for all because you are a SINGLE mum then on top of all that 19,000 from the boyfriend. If you didnt declare him he would bascially be living for free at your house.
Your one working family household will have more to spend than my two working family household and my OH earns more than your OH!
Your comments are not welcome Marker.
The OP did not ask for such opinions on her situation, she asked for facts about what she would be entitled to.
You would be well advised to read this before posting further on the Benefits board, in particular:This board is here for help and support for those on or looking to claim benefits, not for judgement.Gone ... or have I?0 -
OK will do.Thanks
I do expect to lose some money. And I would not let him live here without declaring it. Im so used to having my own money to pay for my own bills. Ive just been on my own too long.
My friend had a blunt way of putting it when we discussed BF having to pay everything, She said if your riding the horse you pay for the stable.
I can see hes going to have to get an extra bank card for me or I will be stressing.
Thanks everyone0 -
missstropy wrote: »OK will do.Thanks
I do expect to lose some money. And I would not let him live here without declaring it. Im so used to having my own money to pay for my own bills. Ive just been on my own too long.
My friend had a blunt way of putting it when we discussed BF having to pay everything, She said if your riding the horse you pay for the stable.
I can see hes going to have to get an extra bank card for me or I will be stressing.
Thanks everyone
Love the analogy! I might try that one ...
Gone ... or have I?0 -
Thank you dmg24 for setting marker straight ....your advice is excellent0
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It should affect your entitlements and rightly so, if he wants to move in then Im assuming hes accepted the fact you have 3 kids etc and by getting in a relationship with you he is taking on the responibility of your kids.
Im not labelling you as a scrounger but think for a minute. You get all your council tax paid, half your mortgage paid and the highest rate of benefits for all because you are a SINGLE mum then on top of all that 19,000 from the boyfriend. If you didnt declare him he would bascially be living for free at your house.
Your one working family household will have more to spend than my two working family household and my OH earns more than your OH!
I would much rather be a normal person and go out to work and have a nice holiday once a year, and be able to buy nice clothes etc. But as I said my daughter is severly mentally and physically disabled, and I have given up my work life to care for her rather than put her in a home. And Im a SINGLE mum because I used to get a smack for breathing never mind speaking.
But thanks for your advice and opinion all the same.0
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