Letter from CSA

lepetit · 27 January 2010 at 10:15AM

My fiance has just received a letter from the CSA saying they have been informed his circumstances may have changed and wanting to know if he is paying enough??
I can only assume this has come from his ex as she is constantly cattling him and wanting more money.
We have nothing to hide, he had a small pay increase due to inflation but I don't think that would effect it?? Or would it?
As she seems to be playing games we wondered where we stand on declaring that their son spends more nights with us than she declares, she has claimed that their son only spends 1 night a week with his father which is true during term time but in the school holidays it is divided equally.
Would we be able to claim back these nights? Is it worth it? Part of me wants to because she is just unreal but I wonder if she will just stop us seeing him for this time, she has declared it in her solicitors letter that all residency is based on?

Confused....so fed up of this women using her son simply to money grab!!

Mips · 27 January 2010 at 10:18AM

Do what the CSA says and provide proof of income.

Don't lie and tell them anything of the sort - with all due respect, you are his fiance and have no right to interfere.

Curious_George_2 · 27 January 2010 at 10:21AM

I cant help you with the CSA thing, i have my own arrangement with the ex (and they hate that... and have penalised me for it, but for a quiet life its worth it)

however, if she wants the situation reviewed then give them all the information and let them review it... she could end up with less for being so greedy,
the benefits people ask questions about how many nights the children spend in each house and i think you are supposed to declare if they stay somewhere other than home on a regular basis,

so maybe you should look into it,
if your playing by the rules and paying a fair amount (decided by the csa) and the new arrangement doesnt work out in her favour maybe she will learn to wind her neck in!

dippychick - where did the OP say she was going to lie about anything?
and sorry but i feel it does have something to do with her, she will be this kids stepmother one day, will it still be nothing to do with her then??
as far as im aware she is allowed to ask questions and ask for advice that is concerning HER family without actually having given birth to the child!

peachyprice · 27 January 2010 at 10:24AM

Dippychick wrote: »

Do what the CSA says and provide proof of income.

Don't lie and tell them anything of the sort - with all due respect, you are his fiance and have no right to interfere.

Dippy, it isn't OP who wants to lie to the CSA, is the EX who is not telling the whole truth, she's told them the child only stays with his father 1 night a week, when in fact he stays more during school holidays.

Lepetit, perhaps you can work out who many extra days that averages over a year

lepetit · 27 January 2010 at 10:35AM

Thank you guys!! Cheers those of you who stuck up for me - I am no evil stepmother!
We have nothing to lie about or hide, my fiance has had one pay increase in the 4 years since the arrangement was made and that was only due to inflation (way over due!)
Part of me really wants declare all the extra nights but I worry that she will then just stop abiding by her solicitors letter and not let their son stay with him as much as he wants to in the school hoidays.
Their son already can't stand that he sees his father so little and the thought of her wielding her power to take away even more times makes me sick but we also feel she needs to know she can't play games with us.

Curious_George_2 · 27 January 2010 at 10:56AM

thing is though, if shes asking for a review of all the info... then your just providing ALL the info,
its not like your making stuff up to get her in trouble, your giving the authorities all the information needed to work out a fair payment,
if and when she kicks up a stink about the possible change of money coming her way then she only has herself to blame

and while im not a legal bod, if the visitation has been drawn up by a solictor wont she get herself into a lot of trouble if she starts messing around?

no need to thank for sticking up for you, i hate that whole "its nothing to do with you" attitude, ive been with my OH for years and years, he is soon to be step father to my 9 year old and if anyone dared to say decisions in her life had nothing to do with him i would be quite angry... he may not be her biological dad but has more to do with her day to day life than him,

peachyprice · 27 January 2010 at 11:57AM

Averaging it out over the year, if your OH has his son 3.5 days a week during school holidays, plus 1 day a week the rest of the time it works out at 84 days a year or 1.6 days a week (not much is it, poor little lad).
assuming he NEVER has him more than one a week out of school holidays and not 4 days a week in school holidays.

Only you and your OH can decide whether it's worth rocking the boat over that, and it would obvioulsy be in your best interest if you keep a record of any more time he spends with you to see if it does actually ever get up to an average of 2 days a week.

floss2 · 27 January 2010 at 12:05PM

I would be totally honest, and even offer the information about extra nights during holidays as part of the response.

lepetit · 27 January 2010 at 12:34PM

Its so hard!
At the moment we are leaning towards not saying about the nights yet - we are currently going forward to mediation as their son has told his Dad he wants joint residency - as I think all his mothers dramas and constant fluctuating mood towards the time they are allowed to spend together have now finally snapped something inside of him because he is gunning for what he wants now.
So I think we may wait until mediation is under way and she has to be accountable to someone who is watching her actions because at the moment we are just at her mercy and whist it makes TOTAL sense to send the nights - sense doesn't come into her thinking - its money and making my fiance miserable - no matter what the cost to their son

PurpleJay · 27 January 2010 at 12:39PM

While the average is still under 2 days per week, I wouldn't bother mentioning it. As you say, you don't want her to stop these visits and I don't know if the CSA would take the extra into account.

If you are honest with the CSA, your fiance will be assessed and will pay what he should based on the 1 day a week. Seems fair enough. It may be more or less than he is paying now. I think the website will give you an idea.

I agree that this is your business too and it is fair enough to seek advice. Just a thought, perhaps his ex is struggling for money prompting this rather than just being greedy (you may know differently of course).

Hope you get it sorted without to many ructions.

x

Joelleski · 27 January 2010 at 12:42PM

I don't want to rock the boat or anything lepetit, but my OH and his ex went to mediation to sort out access issues, and she still messes him around - it was agreed for alternate Christmas's/New Years, and Christmas just gone we would have had SD for the first time, well that didn't happen, SD's mother just refused to let her come. Sweet fa we can do about it unfortunately. However, only a few more years of this to go, which is ok !
On topic though, it's best just to submit your details. The assessment won't change if the difference in figures is £10 or less a week, although I could be wrong on that, please someone correct me if so ! You might also be better off posting in the Child Support forum, which can be found here: http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.html?f=140

Good luck !

Letter from CSA

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