have i any rights as a grandaughter

julie03 · 7 December 2009 at 12:44PM

my nan is in hospital at the moment we are not 100% of what is wrong but it was a suspected stroke but they are also talking about a urinary tract infection, she also had a bad fall 2 weeks ago and banged her head quite badly. her son my uncle is talking of putting her in a home, and is planning on clearing her flat after christmas, i believe this is too hasty and i think he should wait, as her own home has got to be more preferable than a nursing home as she is very independant. what i need to know legally can he make all the decisions, my dad died 20 years ago so isnt around to help, do i legally have any rights
would appreciate any advice.
will be talking to my nan but she is very sleepy and cant get a lot out of her at the mo

margaretclare · 7 December 2009 at 2:04PM

She cannot be 'put into a home' unless she agrees.

If she has a urinary tract infection she needs to be encouraged to drink. UTIs are very common and are treatable, so she may get better. No one should 'clear her flat' without her say-so.

RAS · 7 December 2009 at 2:58PM

Julie

Has nan appointed anyone as an attorney? If so that person has to follow a legal procedure and get it regstered with the Public Guardian.

If not, then NO-ONE has the right to make decision about nan other than nan herself, assuming she is able to do this. Have you spoken to her about her wishes.

Errata · 7 December 2009 at 3:04PM

Tell your uncle that anything he removes from your nan's flat without her express permission that's given whilst she is capable of giving it is theft.
Can you talk to the hospital social worker? Your nan is a vulnerable older person and your uncle's plans for her are on the face of it abusive.
You could also ask to speak to the doctor in charge of your nan's care and discuss how she is, what the future might look like for her, what her wishes might be, and what your uncle is planning. It would also be useful to ask if nan has the capacity to make decisions herself for her future care, and if it's in doubt ask for her to be assessed. HTH

belfastgirl23 · 7 December 2009 at 4:30PM

urinary tract infection can cause confusion in older people and i think Errata is right, you need to speak to the hospital social worker and express your concerns. At the least, no decisions should be made till your gran has recovered from this and the medical team get a chance to examine her to see whether she has had a stroke and if so, what the effects are likely to be. But the social worker could raise this in terms of generally looking towards your gran's future rather than directly having to take sides between you and your uncle.

I'd say don't get into a confrontation with your uncle about this unless you have to. Maybe he's just doing that 'man' thing of trying to do practical stuff to avoid emotional upset. If you are willing to take on a caring role (of some sort) you should let him know that - perhaps he's worrying about ending up as her sole carer? Of course I might be wrong and he might just be a nasty piece of work but I'd say do look at the situation carefully and talk to him about your concerns before getting too official.

RadoJo · 7 December 2009 at 5:00PM

I'm with Belfast Girl - without knowing the ins and outs of the situation, I think it's very easy to have an emotional knee-jerk reaction to a situation like this, but your uncle might have more information to hand than you and be better placed to make such a decision. Can you offer anything by way of support to your uncle as well as your grandma? I understand that you want the best for her, but if he is actually the person who has the responsibility of the day to day care then no matter how good your intentions are, it might simply not be practical to intervene.
I understand that this must be a difficult time for you, but if you bear in mind that your grandma probably wouldn't want anyone to fall out over her care, then you might find it easier to be objective with your uncle and come to a comrpomise that suits everyone.

julie03 · 8 December 2009 at 10:57AM

thank you for all your replies, we have been told she has brain tumor, but to what extent we dont know. i hadnt spoken to my uncle for 20 years so i dont really know him and i normally find it hard to talk to him but i bit the bullet last night and asked him not to be hasty and for the moment he has agreed, my nan is very sleepy but when awake although drowsy is very aware of everything and the tests the doctors have done show her to be of sound mind, seeing her thursday so am going to try and talk to her to see what she wants
thank you again for info

RAS · 8 December 2009 at 11:22AM

Hi

If nan is currently of sound mind, she needs to appoint an attorney now rather than later.

I suggest you read up here http://www.publicguardian.gov.uk/ and run off some of the information for her to read.

I know of someone who died at home having been concious and compos mentis until a few days previous, despite having terminal cancer of the brain. He was judged fit to write his will about two weeks before he died. However it affects different people in diffeent ways, so it pays to make arrangments in advance.

Pee · 8 December 2009 at 11:55AM

She could make a lasting Power of Attorney or if she didn't and lost capacity you or your uncle could apply to be appointed receiver. If she was going to appoint an Attorney, it is more likely to be her son than a grandaughter, just because I think in a family family members struggle to see younger people as an adult, no matter how old they are.

I think the most important thing here is to work on your relationship with your uncle and work together.

dixie_dean_2 · 9 December 2009 at 1:48PM

Good luck. It's good that you care.

gorgeouslatinrose · 9 December 2009 at 3:15PM

My mother and her mother were in battle for months over a similar situation, where her dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor. My grandfather managed to live for quite a while on his own after the diagnosis, then had to have nurses in every day to help him out which at least helped him keep his independence. Sadly after this he had to be taken to hospital as the care he needed was 24 hour care. However, I think if you contact social services, they can help you by providing nurses to come in and out each day for a while, at least untill she needs more intensive care. Your uncle put her in a home straight away if you object, it may also be worth contacting help the aged as they have a lot of experiance in this kind of thing and can give you plenty of advice and contacts.
Good luck x

have i any rights as a grandaughter

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