I have really screwed up.

daphne_descends · 20 September 2009 at 6:34PM

Hi, I used to be a regular on DFW but always skirted around the edges, managing to keep everything just about afloat I never considered our finances a problem - but this has led to a bit of ostriching and now things are getting bad.

Boring background
I went back to work a year ago after maternity leave (my DS is 2 next month :eek: *feels old*

) but have hated it ever since, as some of you well know...so since January I began looking for something else. The problem though was making the numbers add up - as my employer did away with my pre-ML job they were quite good to me on my return and let me work flexibly from home for part of the week which saved quite a bit on childcare. So another job would have meant working for nothing, really... Despite this I still looked and applied for anything I could, and I was offered a wonderful job in a children's centre - until they wanted me to do completely unrealistic hours. So after a lot of thinking I made the decision to leave work and become a SAHM for a year or so - until funding for nursery kicks in and I can actually earn a bit of money.

My mental health has improved since leaving and so I can't put a financial value on it. Honestly if I had realised before resigning how things stood, I may not have - but I was heading into a very black cloud so just can't think too hard about it. But it has brought with it a bleak realisition that things aren't adding up as well as I thought.

Here is my SOA, my dark confession, and the steps I am taking. I might even start a diary because it is SO easy to be 'out of sight, out of mind' and if I don't address this NOW - then I don't know what will happen.

SOA
Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 1
Number of cars owned.................... 1

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 0
Partners monthly income after tax....... 2800 my partner is self-employed so this is a bit of an estimate of the figure after tax
Benefits................................ 80 this is child benefit, we're not eligible for tax credits
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 2880

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 825
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 180 :eek: I know
Electricity............................. 50 guesstimate as to what I should be putting aside (and am now doing)
Gas..................................... 50 as above
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 40
Telephone (land line)................... 38 this includes broadband, and is with BT - OH is sort-of keen to switch to either NTL or Sky as we could have TV for a similar price but I am a bit hesitant
Mobile phone............................ 60 we are both on PAYG but OH makes a lot of calls for work - can't get contracts

TV Licence.............................. 15 this is paid quarterly
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 400 ok... have been spending a lot more, see below
Clothing................................ 50 guesstimate
Petrol/diesel........................... 60 the car is for me and DS as nothing is within walking distance, so I use it to go to free activities like the library, children's centre, local farm etc which don't cost anything
Road tax................................ 10
Car Insurance........................... 36 I only have 1 years NCD as only passed last year but should go down next July!
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0 not sure what to budget, car is 20 years old but passed it's MOT with just a few replacement bulbs!
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 420 OH commutes to London

Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 2234

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 0
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 0

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Utilities......................800.......200.......0 Have fallen behind so need to clear ASAP
OU Loan........................600.......200.......0 as above
Total unsecured debts..........1400......400.......-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 2,880
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 2,234
Available for debt repayments........... 646
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 400
Amount left after debt repayments....... 246

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 0
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -1,400
Net Assets.............................. -1,400

Created using the SOA calculator at www.makesenseofcards.com.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using Firefox browser.

The BIG problem
Ok, but here's the big thing. Aside from falling behind in payments to NPower (though there is backstory :mad:) and my OU account (:() I think we are about £3000 short on OH's tax bill _pale_ I know its utter sh*t and I wish I could turn the clock back but I can't and I just have to get on with it.

What I'm doing
I have been spending too much on food shopping, I know that for a start. I have an Ocado membership which means I get free deliveries - before everyone gasps, they do price-match a lot of things to Tesco prices. But I've been buying everything from them which was largely convenience while working. So now my plan is to buy stuff which is price-matched and go elsewhere for the rest - so Aldi for fruit and veg, Asda (already get nappies here) for toiletries, cat food - and shop around for offers. I have time to do this now at least! I know £400 is still quite a lot but I have been spending more like £500. So I am going to aim for £400 and then come down by £20 a month. I used to be a hardcore old-styler with my breadmaker and my soda crystals

so I can make a lot of those easy savings without much effort. I cook from scratch every day but have been using quite expensive ingredients I suppose - I've armed myself with a few budget cookbooks (loaned from my mother :money:) and a trillion bookmarks on here and bbcgoodfood so again lots of easy changes to make.

I used to do a bit of mystery shopping but this fell by the way-side when pregnant, I am going to do as much as I can with DS in tow but competition seems a lot fiercer - still a few quid a month will make a difference.

We are also ebaying everything we can, well so far that's involved a lot of list-making and picture-taking, I really must get on to that this week during DS's naps (um, if he obliges _pale_ )

I think I need to start a spending diary. That spare figure up there is NEVER spare. And also, OH is paid weekly, which absolutely sucks, and if he has time off, he does NOT get paid. So along with everything else I somehow need to stash at least two weeks of his salary to cover the time off he will be forced to take at Christmas (site closure).

I don't know what else to do. This is keeping me up at night and any time we have to spend money (even on things like bread and milk) I get a headache.

So, there it all is, if anyone with a kind enough heart has read it all. Either way it does feel good to get it out.

lynzpower · 20 September 2009 at 6:44PM

Hi there

Just wanted to say well done in coming back it cant have been easy, sounds likle you have really gone through the mill a bit.

When you say OHs salary is an estimate is that a generous estimate, ie does her regualryl come out with this or not? Have you totalled all he has earned in the last eg 6m and divided it - to ge ta realistic figure?

Have you spoken to the inland revenue to tell them you will have trouble paying and can you set up a payment plan in advance, I dont know if this might minimise potential charges?

I would also be careful about Ocado price matching tescos, I find tescos very expensive and i know its not just me. Do you have markets you can use instead?

Are you careful with bread & Milk, freezing it as you need to to prevent waste? Shopping around is really where its at I think. Could you start using breamaker again- to save incessant trips to the shop?

firesidemaid · 20 September 2009 at 6:56PM

before i say anything else - you can do this!

from your post no. you are obviously a regular on this site, and i haven't read any of your previous posts etc.....

i think you know what you need to do, it is all about the doing it - i take it you don't have any savings as such?

if you don't currently have any form of income, then you need to see the ebaying of your own items as a source of this which can be used as a savings/back-up fund.

if your OH gets paid weekly then you need to multiply this up and work out a true monthly income after tax and you need budget pots for everything, that way you can put the money into those pots weekly.

have you checked on the council tax website to see what your neighbours are paying? are you on a water meter or rates? your b/band/tv/phone etc prob. can be reduced - have a look on the relevant forum for advice on who is the best/deals etc.

can you get a monthly sim only deal? you can get unlimited texts and tonnes of mins for £20 or less plus cashback from quidco.

re. food - again you know that being at home if you meal plan you can save loads. personally, i think that asda is the best, but if you shop around and know your prices you can source good deals from anywhere.

i won't go on! but good luck from me x

Buffythedebtslayer · 20 September 2009 at 6:58PM

Hello Love we were wondering where you had gone!

just gardening ( in the dark!) but will be later to write properly

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx glad you are back xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

daphne_descends · 20 September 2009 at 7:05PM

lynzpower wrote: »

Hi there

Just wanted to say well done in coming back it cant have been easy, sounds likle you have really gone through the mill a bit.

When you say OHs salary is an estimate is that a generous estimate, ie does her regualryl come out with this or not? Have you totalled all he has earned in the last eg 6m and divided it - to ge ta realistic figure?

Have you spoken to the inland revenue to tell them you will have trouble paying and can you set up a payment plan in advance, I dont know if this might minimise potential charges?

I would also be careful about Ocado price matching tescos, I find tescos very expensive and i know its not just me. Do you have markets you can use instead?

Are you careful with bread & Milk, freezing it as you need to to prevent waste? Shopping around is really where its at I think. Could you start using breamaker again- to save incessant trips to the shop?

Thank you Lynz

I don't mind admitting I have had a small cry since posting, cathartic perhaps. It has been hard to look at the bank statements and break it all down.

That is a realistic figure of his earnings, yes, he is paid a 40 hour week unless he takes time off and even then it can be at his managers discretion.

The tax bill is not due yet, I am just hoping when it comes it is not as bad as I thought but if we cannot raise the money by then I will speak to them immediately - too scared not to in the case of tax.

You're right about tesco but I think they are cheaper than Sainsbury's, are Morrisons better? OH sometimes takes DS there for a few bits, it is just so big I have not made the effort - again now I am not working I will buy cheaper rather than conveniently. But, I did Freecycle my breadmaker :eek: when I was pregnant the smell of bread cooking made me so ill I just couldn't get back into it. However I've looked at Weezl's no knead bread recipe in OS and am going to give it a try this week, I bet my DS would love freshly baked bread. I am good with bread and milk on the whole though, it does get used up, it's just akward buying both green and blue for now (whole milk is recommended for under 2's so I may switch to just green soon)

The local market seems to be shrinking lately, I used to go in my lunch break (it is held outside my old office) but I should have a proper look now, it's a nice walk with DS too. Thank you for replying

You would think after this much time on this site I'd have a handle on it, I feel embarrassed and stupid. OH has let me control the finances - at MY request. And I have let him down. He is, as ever, supportive and kind and says whatever needs doing, we'll do. But the burden of earning is solely on his shoulders and I feel I should be making life easier on him, not harder.

Tixy · 20 September 2009 at 7:06PM

Hi Daphne

Well done for deciding to take things in hand. Just wanted to wish you loads of luck. Definatley get that spending diary sorted, you know you need to. And also do try all supermarkets, as well as local markets, butchers etc to see what they have and who is cheapest for what you buy. Don't be afraid to try unusual brands, - okay you're probably never going to get your entire shop from these places but there are some great items to be picked up. I drop into Aldi regularly for their great cheap fruit and veg and also get things like pesto, sundried tomatoes, organic tomato & basil pasta sauce, so its not all basic foods.
You could combine it with a trip for your son, say to the library so you don't feel you are dragging him round the shops.

With regards to the tax, HMRC are being more lenient than previously (due to the recession) but you need to contact them before the tax is due to arrange a repayment scheme (or get his accountant to do this) - he should be able to pay the shortfall over say 6months or so.

I assume you've done the council tax band check thing?

Is there a reason you are not paying monthly for more things, gas, elec, tv licence? most people find it easier to manage and your often get a discount for paying by dd.

Check OH (and you) are on the best PAYG tariffs, there seems to have been a raft of new plans with loads of calls included launched recently. Might be worth shopping around.

Anyway as I said just wanted to offer my support. You may be missing out financially but you are lucky to be spending this time with your son, and after all money is never as important as families.

Good luck

daphne_descends · 20 September 2009 at 7:19PM

firesidemaid wrote: »

before i say anything else - you can do this!

from your post no. you are obviously a regular on this site, and i haven't read any of your previous posts etc.....

i think you know what you need to do, it is all about the doing it - i take it you don't have any savings as such?

if you don't currently have any form of income, then you need to see the ebaying of your own items as a source of this which can be used as a savings/back-up fund.

if your OH gets paid weekly then you need to multiply this up and work out a true monthly income after tax and you need budget pots for everything, that way you can put the money into those pots weekly.

have you checked on the council tax website to see what your neighbours are paying? are you on a water meter or rates? your b/band/tv/phone etc prob. can be reduced - have a look on the relevant forum for advice on who is the best/deals etc.

can you get a monthly sim only deal? you can get unlimited texts and tonnes of mins for £20 or less plus cashback from quidco.

re. food - again you know that being at home if you meal plan you can save loads. personally, i think that asda is the best, but if you shop around and know your prices you can source good deals from anywhere.

i won't go on! but good luck from me x

Thank you firesidemaid, that's a great post

We have no savings, which scares me... any money is going into the tax account. We're also on a water meter and everyone tells me £40 a month is about right? Seems high to me but then there are three of us to bath/shower/cook/wash clothes. Also council tax, god it is high - the landlord is renting this house to us at a bit of a steal really, we could not afford it at market value. So it does come with a high c.tax and sadly it is in line with the rest of the street

What's a sim-only deal? *off to look*

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

Hello Love we were wondering where you had gone!

just gardening ( in the dark!) but will be later to write properly

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx glad you are back xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Oh buffy, thank you - a bit worried to show my face in here

xxxxxxx

penguin83 · 20 September 2009 at 7:20PM

Hi DD, just wanted to welcome you back and say a big well done for posting.

You can do this, go back to basics like you did when you first came here - have a nosey on the grocery challenge for ideas and get back into the mindset of moneysaving.

Good luck and it is definitely a good idea to keep a diary on here - somewhere to have a rant and share your achievements x x x x

daphne_descends · 20 September 2009 at 7:28PM

Tixy wrote: »

Hi Daphne

Well done for deciding to take things in hand. Just wanted to wish you loads of luck. Definatley get that spending diary sorted, you know you need to. And also do try all supermarkets, as well as local markets, butchers etc to see what they have and who is cheapest for what you buy. Don't be afraid to try unusual brands, - okay you're probably never going to get your entire shop from these places but there are some great items to be picked up. I drop into Aldi regularly for their great cheap fruit and veg and also get things like pesto, sundried tomatoes, organic tomato & basil pasta sauce, so its not all basic foods.
You could combine it with a trip for your son, say to the library so you don't feel you are dragging him round the shops.

With regards to the tax, HMRC are being more lenient than previously (due to the recession) but you need to contact them before the tax is due to arrange a repayment scheme (or get his accountant to do this) - he should be able to pay the shortfall over say 6months or so.

I assume you've done the council tax band check thing?

Is there a reason you are not paying monthly for more things, gas, elec, tv licence? most people find it easier to manage and your often get a discount for paying by dd.

Check OH (and you) are on the best PAYG tariffs, there seems to have been a raft of new plans with loads of calls included launched recently. Might be worth shopping around.

Anyway as I said just wanted to offer my support. You may be missing out financially but you are lucky to be spending this time with your son, and after all money is never as important as families.

Good luck

Thank you Tixy. I know food shopping is the biggest thing to overhaul, I have been reading the 50p a day thread on OS in complete awe of everyone. Again I was using Aldi and Lidl for certain things, compiled long lists from Martin's articles about what was good and what was not - but I must admit I found myself spending more because, say, the brioche was really nice - but we didn't NEED brioche in the first place! I am certainly willing so I think with the time to do it and a bit of discipline I can have a go - I think there is something in thriving on the challenge as well, every £20 I can reduce the bill by will feel like a small victory. I also have luncheon vouchers from doing Pinecone surveys and I'm saving them for Christmas

That is a huge relief about HRMC. I just hate how tax is always paid in arrears so if you think about it, it's not just £3k but the tax year to now as well. But one thing at a time of course. We were SO good last year, which also makes me think not working is the right thing to do as when I was on ML not only was I jsut receiving SMP but OH was on a lower wage (though admittedly without the commute - but we were taking driving lessons which is expensive) and we managed. IT felt so good to pay the tax bill on time (well apart from the ache of seeing the money disappear of course!)

I want to change energy supplier before agreeing to a DD plan and of course to do that I need to clear the arrears. Npower have messed us around SO much since we moved in, demanding a copy of the tenancy THREE times, sending letters incorrectly addressed, and the latest is that they can't trace a payment I made of £230 - which is when the arrears began to build up.

I never even thought to look at our mobiles tbh as we are on O2 and get 300 text when topping up £10 a month. but the £10 doesn't go far on calls and actually the texts don't last when OH is letting my know what trains he is on etc as I pick him up from the train station. I will see if we can do better. There is so much to think about.

Sorry for slow replies, just been reading my DS a story

daphne_descends · 20 September 2009 at 7:29PM

penguin83 wrote: »

Hi DD, just wanted to welcome you back and say a big well done for posting.

You can do this, go back to basics like you did when you first came here - have a nosey on the grocery challenge for ideas and get back into the mindset of moneysaving.

Good luck and it is definitely a good idea to keep a diary on here - somewhere to have a rant and share your achievements x x x x

Thanks penguin - I think it needs to be out in the open, a diary to get kicks up the bum

and a signature, too long I've been saying 'la la la la la, it's alright, it'll work out in the end...'

LCT · 20 September 2009 at 8:13PM

I'm going against the grain here a bit but....we've tried the whole cruising round supermarkets and didn't save anything - we spent our whole months budget in one week!!! My suggestion would be to switch to sainsburys - its not expensive. Our monthly shop this time was £32.39 and on ocado it would have been £53.26 excl delivery. The plus side of Sainsburys are the nectar points - we use ours for free rentals at Blockbuster (500points each)
L
x

I have really screwed up.

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