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Charliebird
Posts: 54 Forumite
I'm writing this in floods of tears as I'm not sure what to do next. I have found out tonight that my husband has racked up £165,000.00 in unsecured debts - mainly credit cards and a couple of loans. It appears he has a gambling addiction., He has also spent all of our savings.
He is employed but I am a Mum at home. He has contacted a couple of credit cards and agreed a payment plan - but frankly we have no spare cash. He has £30K worth of overdraft at the maximum. He takes home £4.5K per month and I believe we can pair our outgoings down to maybe £3700.00 per month - although some of the expediture will take a couple of months to get out of (eg gym membership) He works in the financial markets and there is a possibility of some quarterly bonuses but these are no way guarenteed. I have been looking for a job as I sensed that money is getting tight but I have two small pre-schoolers and have to pay for childcare so if I can get a job it will need to pay for childcare and some so I am not boyant about my chances.
He has given me his credit cards and access to all of his bank accounts.
This has come to light as we were looking at remortgaging to, as i was led to believe, do some home improvements. When the guy came round tonight and showed us the debt list I was flabagasted and assumed we had had our identity pinched. We have equity in the house and remortgaging apparently is an option - so we can add an additional £100K to our mortgage making it £270K on a house that they have valued at £400K (although I think its more like £360K)
So here are my questions?
1. we can remortgage and get £100K out of the house and it will cost us an additional £100 per month - is this the right thing to do as it still leaves £65K worth of debt
2. Should we consider an IVA?
3. Is there any merit in me disassociating myself financial from him?
4. Should he put the mortgage in my name (although as I don't yet get an income I'm not sure they would do this)
5. He is happy to give me power of attorney - if I get this can I talk to his credit card companies to sort out a repayment plan?
6. Is it worth considering borrowing from family?
Please help as I am feeling very lost at the moment (as well as angry and betrayed)
He is employed but I am a Mum at home. He has contacted a couple of credit cards and agreed a payment plan - but frankly we have no spare cash. He has £30K worth of overdraft at the maximum. He takes home £4.5K per month and I believe we can pair our outgoings down to maybe £3700.00 per month - although some of the expediture will take a couple of months to get out of (eg gym membership) He works in the financial markets and there is a possibility of some quarterly bonuses but these are no way guarenteed. I have been looking for a job as I sensed that money is getting tight but I have two small pre-schoolers and have to pay for childcare so if I can get a job it will need to pay for childcare and some so I am not boyant about my chances.
He has given me his credit cards and access to all of his bank accounts.
This has come to light as we were looking at remortgaging to, as i was led to believe, do some home improvements. When the guy came round tonight and showed us the debt list I was flabagasted and assumed we had had our identity pinched. We have equity in the house and remortgaging apparently is an option - so we can add an additional £100K to our mortgage making it £270K on a house that they have valued at £400K (although I think its more like £360K)
So here are my questions?
1. we can remortgage and get £100K out of the house and it will cost us an additional £100 per month - is this the right thing to do as it still leaves £65K worth of debt
2. Should we consider an IVA?
3. Is there any merit in me disassociating myself financial from him?
4. Should he put the mortgage in my name (although as I don't yet get an income I'm not sure they would do this)
5. He is happy to give me power of attorney - if I get this can I talk to his credit card companies to sort out a repayment plan?
6. Is it worth considering borrowing from family?
Please help as I am feeling very lost at the moment (as well as angry and betrayed)
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Comments
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Just to add the montly repayments for these debts are about £5K.0
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Don't take this the wrong way, but are you sure?Charliebird wrote: »He has given me his credit cards and access to all of his bank accounts.
If I was you I'd be taking a look (obviously he'll now let you?) at his credit reports from all 3 CRAs...because ALL his borrowings will be recorded on there. Call it a 'cross reference'.
Best of luck with this one. I suspect you'll need it!0 -
I'm sure - I have all of the bank statements and credit card bills in front of me. I'm just hoping thats all of them. We looked at Experian tonight online he's got a crap credit score of 535 or something like that.0
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It seems that your husband has a very decent salary but at the same time I am amaze to how he managed to get £165,000 worth of unsecured debt. It might be worth considering disassociating financially from him. If you borrow from family, how much do you think you'll be able to get & when will they want their money back?0
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A remortgage is a definite possibility, the money raised from that will bring the interest payments down considerably per month into something that should be manageable on your monthly income.
I wouldn't borrow from family, causes too many issues/problems from experience.
It might also be worth popping to your local Citizens Advice Bureau & see if they can offer anything that you might have overlooked.
Best of luck, i'd also look at getting your husband in to gamblers anonymous as well. He needs expert help if he's racked up £165k.0 -
With no income of her own* (to service the mortgage repayments), that's going to be nigh-on impossible (without borrowing from the family).It might be worth considering disassociating financially from him.
And if I was the husband I wouldn't agree to it anyway...because he could end up with nothing (some may say that's what he deserves) if the relationship deteriorates as a result of the situation.
* See previous posts.0 -
Thanks - my worry on remortgaging is that its fixed for two years - but god forbid the market crashed or interest hikes we are in negative equity with a a hike in payments. But i guess we are limited on our options.
I am reluctant to borrow from family - but it would be cheaper than a loan and there is one relative who is very wealthy (not something I would do lightly tho)0 -
Re - Gambling Anon - if he wants to stay married - he has to go. I think I will try and see the CAB in the morning0
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Charliebird wrote: »Thanks - my worry on remortgaging is that its fixed for two years - but god forbid the market crashed or interest hikes we are in negative equity with a a hike in payments. But i guess we are limited on our options.
I'd say you're better off doing it now than at any other time, interest rates seem static. There's talk of it staying around that figure until 2010. I would definitely sit down and calculate the risk involved.Charliebird wrote: »I am reluctant to borrow from family - but it would be cheaper than a loan and there is one relative who is very wealthy (not something I would do lightly tho)
Again, explore that option if you're comfortable, but definitely be honest with the situation with family.0 -
As well as GA for your husband many groups have GamAnon attached. This is a seperate support group for friends or families of compulsive gamblers. As you may well be finding, this situations affect far more than the person doing the damage and it helps to be with other people who are experiencing the same for help and support. If you let me know where you live I can tell you what meetings are on where - PM me if you want to do this in private.
Best of luck.
B.0
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