Help please!

clarence83_2

I don't have much help to add but I just wanted to say I think you are fantastic for sticking around and wanting to help, I just don't know what I would do in your situation and I think you are being really strong. The people on this board are fantastic and will give you some fantastic advice.

I would be reluctant to borrow money from family, if it might be a cheaper option in the long term, but I think there would be more of an urge for him to keep gambling as there would be less comeback if he missed payments etc.

Contact GA as everyone else has already said. Has he expressed the feelings that he knows he has a problem and wants to sort it out? How come he told you in the first place- is he starting to struggle to meet minimum payments or did he just feel that he needed to come clean? Where is he gambling- is it online?

CannyJock

Assuming you don't want to go down the IVA route, the remortgage is the only realistic option that'll give you access to that sort of money. Doing anything else is just p1$$ing into the wind.

If he takes home £4500 and you can cutback outgoing to £3700 then you've got £800 for your debts. This will cover the extra £100 on the mortgage.

The question is what you should pay the £100,000 plus remaining £700 per month towards.

For me the answer to this is fairly simple, you make the minimum payments on your lowest APR debts and make the maximum payments to the highest APR debts until they're cleared. And just keep working your way down the list.

So my plan of action would be:
1. smack him in the face with a frying pan
2. list all of the debts in descending order of APR
3. start cutting back on everything you can
4. smack him again in the face with a frying pan
5. make sure you have minimum repayments set up on all of the debts to avoid missed payments, fees and damaging your credit ratings
6. start making the extra payments to the highest APR debt
7. remortgage and use those funds to start working on the rest
8. smack him again in the face with a frying pan for good measure

Once the debt is down to the £65,000 limit it'll be much more managable. Still a small mountain to climb, but your credit report will have shown a £100,000 reduction in your available credit! With a bit of financial juggling and tightening the belt, it is possible to clear these debts. I've helped people clear more than this, it's not easy, it might take a couple of years, but it's doable.

The other issues on his addiction to gambling others are better qualified to comment on.

Family loans are basically 0% loans so they will help quite a bit. Borrowing from family can create other issues though so not always the cleanest way to get funds. Maybe suggest that he speaks to his family and get the loans from there seeing as he's the one who's dug the hole?

Do as YB suggested and get a copy of his and your credit reports. There may be other debts he's not aware of or is hiding from you - and face it, he's not been 100% upfront with you to date so you've no reason to take it at face value.

Good luck with this one, if there's any other advice don't hesitate to ask.

anh1904

I really feel for you, but check the gambling addiction is the main reason and not any "City Entertaining" or recreational substances, which can be far more damaging.

You have the income to service the situation, which is a blessing, so I really hope you can sort all this out.

TMoose

Also, head over to the Debt Free Wannabe board and post up a statement of affairs http://www.makingsenseofcards.com/soacalc.html and the very clever and helpful people there will help you identify where you can save money on your living expenses

nickmack

Hi, Martin’s asked me to post this in these circumstances: I’ve asked Board Guides to move threads if they’ll receive a better response elsewhere(please see this rule) so this post/thread has been moved to another board, where it should get more replies. If you have any questions about this policy please email [EMAIL="abuse@moneysavingexpert.com"]abuse@moneysavingexpert.com[/EMAIL].