Looking out for my kids, and screw the misses!

dark_stranger · 5 April 2006 at 9:55AM

Now that my title has caught your attention, maybe you will stick around and offer some advice. After my misses loosing her granddad recently, she has decided to press the self-distruct button and says she wants me out of our house. I dont have a problem with that, but what I do have a problem with is her getting hold of my money, espically when I want our kids to have it when they are older. The house/mortgage is in my name and I dont want to sell it, but let her live there with the kids and pay the mortgage for her. But I dont want her down the line getting any of the moneys from the house as i want it for the kids. I must add, we are not married, but have lived together for about 5yrs. What is the best route to protect the house, place it in the kids names or even my mums name? I also want the option to sell, if you decides to move another man in down the line

and invest the money for the kids elsewhere.

So ultimatly I want to keep the house or at least the value of the house safe for my kids. What are the best options.

Cheers guys & girls,

looby75 · 5 April 2006 at 10:03AM

dark_stranger wrote:

After my misses loosing her granddad recently, she has decided to press the self-distruct button and says she wants me out of our house.

Don't have any advice about the house, other than if it's in your name and you pay the mortgage and you aren't married to this lady then I presume she wouldn't be able to claim a share of the house anyway.

What I did want to comment on is that to me it sounds as though your mrs could be depressed. Depression makes you do very strange things that you regret later (I know I've btdt) Was her decision to kick you out totally out of the blue or did you have problems before the death of her granddad?

elisebutt65 · 5 April 2006 at 10:09AM

Why move out?? It's your house!!

You're not married either has she any proof that she has paid towards the mortgage?

Tell her you'll keep the house and look after the kids and if she wants, she can move out on her own!

helen21_2 · 5 April 2006 at 10:14AM

Are you sure you want out of this relationship? Walking away and leaving two children with someone who is on a self destruct mission is not the wisest thing to do. Losing someone close can have devastating consequences to a person and their family and i dont think walking away is the hardest option!!

Kimberley · 5 April 2006 at 10:18AM

Give her time, she's confused and mourning her Grandad for petes sake

Also the kids would benefit from money from you now rather then when they are older and can stand on their own two feet :rolleyes:

Stop pannicking and support your GF as much as you can, even if she pushes you away, be there for her and take some pressure off by helping to look after the kids.

hjb123 · 5 April 2006 at 10:36AM

How old are the kids? When did she make the decision to want you out - or has it been brewing for a while?

Dont you think that you should try and stick it for a while for the sake of the children if your partner is if you say touching the self destruct button because if the children are only young they really dont need to witness this on their own.

Amanda65 · 5 April 2006 at 10:52AM

I agree with the above posts - your children will need your support and love (as might your girlfriend for that matter) during this turbulent time. Whilst I admire you not wishing to shirk any financial responsibilites for the future I do think that your presence in their lives will eman more in the long run. Also with regards to your girlfriend having no claim on the house, presumably she has been unable to work and contribute financially as she was at home bringin up your chidlren?

Zoetoes · 5 April 2006 at 11:42AM

Whether you are married or not & whether her name is on the house or not, isn't she entitled to something?

Has she been bringing up the kids & you working? If this is the case then yes the mortgage has come from your wages but would you have been able to work if she hadn't looked after the kids? It's a partnership.

It sounds all very well saying you want to leave it to your kids but would your kids want to see their mum with nothing? Surely it should be left to the kids after both of you are 'gone' or something like that.

She might have asked you to leave because maybe you're not being very understanding over the death of a family member, she probably needs your support & if she's not getting it feels like if you won't help her through a time like this then is there any point in being with you.

And to top it all off you're going on about her not 'getting her hands on the your money' so to speak.

And if she happens to meet another man after a while & he moves in with her & the kids, you're going to sell the house? I take it the kids will go to live with you then? Cos they won't have their family home anymore will they?

Instead of thinking about the financial side of all this why not have a think about how everyone is feeling? The mother of your kids is going through a tough time, don't know how old the kids are but might they be upset over their great granddads death?

You need to consider peoples feelings, you never know you might be able to work things out & stay together.

gravitytolls · 5 April 2006 at 5:39PM

If she's lost her grandad, and presumably they were close, as she's so broken up; do you not think you could try counselling?

It seems bizarre behaviour, unless you were already struggling before his passing?

Regarding the house, if she has made any contributions to the upkeep, inc. paid work, DIY maintenance, house keeping, child rearing, and any income she may have brought in, I suspect she will be awarded a share of the property.

Clearly you need to speak to a solicitor, but it would be better if you could try to speak to her first.

dark_stranger · 6 April 2006 at 9:37AM

Wow, what a response. Some good advice there & I will take a step back and review the whole situation from afar. Ideally in theory somewhere nice and warm, but in reality somewhere closer to home.

looby75 · 6 April 2006 at 11:58AM

I hope it all works out for you and your family OP.

Take care.

Looking out for my kids, and screw the misses!

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