Lone Parent requires help

wazza · 3 December 2004 at 9:44PM

Hi,

As you read I am a lone parent with a difference. It is the mother that has left, not the father. She decided there is more to life than looking after young kids.

My children are aged 9, 6 and 2.5 years old. The two eldest attend school while the youngest keeps me occupied at home.

I had to pack in my job to look after the young one. Fortunately the company allowed me to work at home till the project finished. The work finished in Sept.

I had to go onto jobseekers allowance because my wife's name was on the child benefit. Have just got the CB transferred to my name and have now applied for income support.

Right that is my background. I have applied, received or aware of free prescription, dental, opticans, free energy bulbs and loft insulation, free school dinner and milk, free milk for the young un, council tax benefit, assistance with school uniform

what i need is info on mortgages. My application is being processed at the moment. As far as i know if you took out a mortgage before 1994 (my guess) i think then JSA/IS will help with the mortgage interest after 8 weeks. If the mortgage was taken after 1994 then you have to wait 36 weeks. Took my mortgage out in 1990 but remortgaged in 2002 to a better deal. It is for the same property. Does the 8 week or 36 week rule apply? In form IS8 it states that they will relax the 36 week rule if my partner has abandoned me.

Also what other benefits am i eligable to?

I have attended some lone parent groups but the majority are attened by mothers who huddle together. Anyone know of such group in nottingham where there are lone parent fathers.

Spendless · 3 December 2004 at 10:37PM

Hi wazza

When i was made redundant in 1998 i applied for help with my mortgage - single and no kids at time - i got help after 8 weeks due to when i'd taken on but i do remember reading at time if anyone with kids had taken on mortgage after the date when mortgage help changed - the 8 week rule would apply to them - however this is a long time ago and things might have changed.

A re-mortgage- would count as starting from new date otherwise.

I;'d suggest you get advice from some welfare benefits place

My own little un goes to mums and tots (i'm female) and you're right there are few men attend.
I would suggest speaking to Health visitor to see if she can suggest anywhere.

Does their mum pay maintainance - have you looked into working part-time and claiming WTC and CTC?

Finally there is a regular member on this board called MATH
he has been a stay at home dad for many years whilst his wife has worked- i'm quite sure he wouldn't mind you sending him a pm - to see if he has any tips or advice

Best wishes

wazza · 3 December 2004 at 10:57PM

a female with the name spendless ;D is that what u do or is it a reminder

thanks for your reply. my wife was only working part time over the weekends at the local supermarket. she does 12 hours at roughly £5/hr which equates £60. I have applied for maintenance when applying for JSA/IS as required but i am not holding my breath.

Since my JSA was awarded over a week ago and now i have applied for IS i am waiting for the mortgage section to get hold of me next week. I will give them a call near end of next week.

Spendless · 3 December 2004 at 11:03PM

a female with the name spendless ;D is that what u do or is it a reminder

.

nothing to do with money advice but thought it'd give you a laugh - if you click on my name and look to the top you'll see my original name - hubbys sense of humour
::)- i made him change it - but i do spend less than husband - hence the quote at the side ;D

mini · 4 December 2004 at 1:50AM

Are you getting child tax credit? I would have thought you should be, thought I'd mention it.

Ask your health visitor about any local play centres, they may be a bit more pricey than tots groups but there are usually dads in them!

wazza · 4 December 2004 at 2:32AM

sorry, forgot to mention that i get CTC.

have been to a couple of playgroups. 100% female

Fran · 4 December 2004 at 6:37PM

The Sheffield branch of Families Need Fathers might be able to help.

MATH · 5 December 2004 at 10:36PM

Hi Wazza, Sorry to hear about your situation. It's becoming more and more common to see loan Dad's in the playground at school. I'm not a loan Dad but a stay at home Dad so don't know of any loan Dad groups.

When I started 10yrs ago Toddler Groups were a nightmare. Attended one that had chairs down both sides of the room, by the end of the session one side was crammed with Mums and the other had one chair with me on it :-[ Being and awkward begger and not wanting my son to miss out I gritted my teeth and kept going. When they started asking my advice on weaning and what I used to wash bibs in I knew I had cracked them ;D Took about 6 weeks.

My advice is to try one or two, some undoubtable will have had the honour of a Dad attending before and will be much more welcoming. The group I went to welcomed the 2nd Dad with open arms (no-one thanked me for paving the way though ::))
Be charming, unthreatening, and start conversations with everyone. Your compentance at looking after your own kidz is also a sure fire winner. I wish you the best of luck

morgan73 · 9 December 2004 at 5:38PM

Hi,
If you tell income support that you've been abandoned in the family home then they'll help towards the mortgage interest payments after 8 weeks.
They only pay towards the interest and it's at a fixed rate. If your mortgage rate is higher than this, you'll have to pay the shortfall, plus the repayment part of the mortgage. Keep in touch with your mortgage company, let them know what's happening.
Good luck.

Ted_Hutchinson · 9 December 2004 at 10:14PM

Homeowners
Help with housing costs IS8
This brief guide gives fuller details of help with housing costs. (don't worry that it's from NI the details are the same here.

Sarahsaver · 9 December 2004 at 11:58PM

Dont forget the CSA - you may be able to pursue her for child support maintenance.
Also if you live in a Sure Start area they have many initiatives which will help you. I am involved with my local Sure Start and they are arranging support groups for fathers of young kids.
Also theres an organisation called Home Start which supports parents of young kids through difficult times. A volunteer came to me for a couple of hours a week and played with the kids or came with us on trips to the park/summer outings.
Speak to your health visitor as the health visitor will usually be quite involved with the 2.5 year old still, she may know of things you may not have thought of.
Best of luck. BTW you should not be made to go to work if you dont want because you have a very young child who probably needs you at home right now. Hope Ive helped a bit.

Lone Parent requires help

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