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Christmas - nightmare!!

Ok basically....

Me and my partner had an arguement about 2 weeks ago and I moved back with my parents and he moved back with his parents. It was a pretty big argument that we had and we are now getting counselling together for it.

I am hoping to move back in with him at his parents on 20th Dec, my parents are not happy about it which I understand.

My sister and her husband have recently bought a new house and want everyone around there for christmas dinner - when I say everyone I mean, everyone except my OH, again, I can understand that but it puts me in a position.

Just to add to it, its my birthday on Christmas to!

I hoped that I would move back and we would have a clean start but I'm not too sure what to do. Should I just go because I know how much it means to my sister, or should I not go because I want to celebrate with OH?

:eek: :eek: :eek:
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Comments

  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,571 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Why should your sister's wishes to show off her house be more important than your wishes to work on your relationship? On the other hand, are your family being more realistic about the future of this relationship than you are? Only you will know which decision to make.
  • Penpop
    Penpop Posts: 31 Forumite
    Mojisola wrote: »
    Why should your sister's wishes to show off her house be more important than your wishes to work on your relationship? On the other hand, are your family being more realistic about the future of this relationship than you are? Only you will know which decision to make.

    You have just wrote exactly what im thinking. I know she has wanted to have everyone around for years so I know how much it means to her. And yes, they do not like my OH, and like I said I understand. But where do I draw the line of family and relationship? Me and OH have been together for 3 years
  • Hi

    Your family should never make you choose, they should be there unconditionally for you. Family should stay out of any relationship matters, as they can never be unbiased. , how would your sis / mother etc feel if you invited them round but stipulated their partner was not welcome.

    I also think you have to mabey re-assess your relationship with your partner if you are even thinking of this.
  • Penpop
    Penpop Posts: 31 Forumite
    cheepskate wrote: »
    Hi

    Your family should never make you choose, they should be there unconditionally for you. Family should stay out of any relationship matters, as they can never be unbiased. , how would your sis / mother etc feel if you invited them round but stipulated their partner was not welcome.

    I also think you have to mabey re-assess your relationship with your partner if you are even thinking of this.

    could u please explain? thanks
  • Penpop
    Penpop Posts: 31 Forumite
    Changed my name? Sorry Im not quite with you. No I was not in an abusive relationship, we had an argument one night. I'm just wondering what I should do, go to the family event or try to start fresh with OH.
  • grey_lady
    grey_lady Posts: 1,047 Forumite
    sorry - its just that there's another thread with an almost identical background - joint counselling, moving into parents, OH moving into his parents, hoping to move in there in a couple of weeks.

    weirdy similar but apologies for the mixup - i'll delete it in case anyone else makes the same mistake.
    Snootchie Bootchies!
  • shellsuit
    shellsuit Posts: 24,749 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Combo Breaker
    Do what you want to do. If you want to spend it with your OH and he hasn't been invited by your family, spend it with OH and his family.

    I hate the feeling some people must have of guilt over Christmas, when family members invite you here and there and exclude people they don't like.
    Tank fly boss walk jam nitty gritty...
  • Stacie,

    You know why your family do not 'like' your OH, you know why they do not want him there and I am sure if you think about it rationally you understand why they feel this way.

    It looks like you are going to have to choose between him and your family doesn't it? I bet that is exactly what he wants.
    MFW Start Sep 07 £79484, Now £58774
  • Penpop
    Penpop Posts: 31 Forumite
    grey_lady: thank you x

    shellsuit: Yes I do want to spend it with my OH, but I dont want to let my family down :( I mean, are they going to turn around and not speak to me? or not be happy with me? Then I will have a crap christmas and birthday because I'll be feeling guilty like you said. Arrrggghhh
  • Penpop
    Penpop Posts: 31 Forumite
    Stacie,

    You know why your family do not 'like' your OH, you know why they do not want him there and I am sure if you think about it rationally you understand why they feel this way.

    It looks like you are going to have to choose between him and your family doesn't it? I bet that is exactly what he wants.

    I have just been speaking to grey_lady about this - I am not stacie, I am however going to read their thread!
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