Help me get sorted please

Silver_Lilly · 1 January 2007 at 9:52PM

Hi apparently i put this in the wrong place so:
I have been ill the last few years and am finally on minimal medication.
I now find that i am feeling back to normal without me even noticing there is now no routine in our home and we seem to be wasting food (thowing out of date stuff away and cooking to much).
We have tried routines before but OH works shifts and we can't seem to stick to them.
We try to write a shopping list but seem to also buy what we fancy.tried doing menus but don't fancy the meal by the time we get to it.

What do other people run there weeks etc?

We also never seem to have any spare time and seem to spend all our time either shopping,bickering or cleaning.
We don't seem to see anyone as everyone lives to far away and when we are free and OH is home as i dont drive everone else is busy.

I feel like a finally got my health in some level of normality and everything else now needs all sorting out and dont no where to start.

What routines do you have?

I also need to be finding out about the fly lady posts too?sorry not too good at this.
Everything seems so complicated friends seem to have drifted as i don't drive and i also have a young child so im at home, havent been able to work since i got pregnant.

we have started looking at starting our own business but keep shifting back and forth about wether its the right way to go and then something else seems to crop up and before i know it the days and the week has disapered.

I just seem to be going around in circles.i am a naturally organised person but cant seem to stick with anything at the moment,i thought that when i stopped having so go to so many hospital appointments etc i would feel great but i feel like ive missed out on life and can't seem to catch up.

Silver_Lilly · 1 January 2007 at 9:54PM

Sorry meant to say i also over anaylis everything i just want back to normal life but everything has changed and i cant rember what normal feels like!

vivaladiva · 1 January 2007 at 10:06PM

Sound like you could use flylady - https://www.flylady.net
Best advice - don't try to do it all at once:D

mouseymousey99 · 1 January 2007 at 10:09PM

Hello Silver Lilly, glad to hear you are on the way back - it isn't easy and you are doing well. Seems to me you need to start with some store cupboard basics (somewhere there is a thread on this & I'm sure someone who knows more than me will put a link). Try & take it easy its hard if you do a lot of things in one go. How about a trip to the library, get some basic cookery books and see what you fancy? best wishes & happy new year - MMx

amarillo_2004 · 1 January 2007 at 10:10PM

You've been ill. You've got a young child. Your partner works shifts. Your family & friend support aren't nearby. Start by cutting yourself some slack!

Most people on here have been through bad times (it's why we start coming here!). And we've learned the hard way that doing a little bit to make things better is the only way that things get better. This is true whether its paying back debt or sorting out the house or mending damaged relationships. I'm sure you'll get lots of helpful advoice but remember you don't have to be different overnight. Keep on being you and every day try and do one little thing to make things a bit better. Don't worry if you slip back a few times. Ask your IRL friends for help too. They might not know you need it, unless you ask.

I wish you a peaceful and fulfilled 2007. And when I think of some practical things to say, I'll come back and say them.

Toxic_Lemon · 1 January 2007 at 10:25PM

I'm useless at house stuff! But, I think the first thing you should do is boost your self-esteem. Realise how much you have achieved health wise and be happy about that! Next, make some time each week for YOU time. A simple face mask, home manicure, anything that gives you a few minutes pampering time to yourself. Then, ensure you have the support of hubby - you need him to work with you on this and do his part/share, if he isn't already.

That done, you'll be in a better place/frame of mind to accept the advice others will soon be giving you below me! Best of luck to you!

blue-kat · 1 January 2007 at 10:40PM

don't try to chagne everything at once, set realistic goals.no point setting the bar too high.cut back on anything that doesn't really matter, taks shortcuts.

I often find day to day life a bit of a struggle because I've got ME/CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome), 3 kids with high needs.I can only do 1 main thing most days, so got to priortise.

money saving isn't the whole picture, whilst I'm far from flush, energy and health are lot more valuable to me.
in my case it's not worth wasting my limited energy by going to supermarkets much, so I get most of food online.
if you can't do something, there's no point worrying about it.

We do family calendar on big dry wipe boards (bought from ebay), which helps to be more organised, and work around the medical appointments.

fly lady stanadards seem rather high to me, I don't need polished sink, but having space around the kettle is important.

best wishes
-

moggins · 1 January 2007 at 10:53PM

I would also advise going slowly. If you try to do everything at once you are just going to get discouraged and bicker even more.

My DH works shifts too and it can be hard working around that but far from impossible. I'm a SAHM with two children at home aged 13 and 5 plus one of 22 who is due to have my first grandchild in May. I also take my parents shopping once a week which means a 36 mile round trip every Friday.

Work out what is most important to you, if having a clean, tidy, organised home is important then come and join us on the Flylady challenge.

Meals can be easily sorted out with a menu plan and a slow cooker. On the nights when DH is not going to be eating with us then I can cook for us all and just leave his to keep warm, either that or cook an extra portion and freeze it. Bulk cooking helps a lot with shift work.

I also know that getting out of the house when you have a small child and a DH working shifts is not easy, have you thought of taking up a hobby? I've recently started to knit again and I can happily watch TV in the evening with needles flying away. Also there are so many websites for different hobbies that you can find plenty of people to chat to.

Don't dismiss the web for making friends. The children and I spent a wonderful couple of days this summer with someone from this very site and her children.

I really wouldn't think about starting your own business until you have the other areas of your life sorted and have started to build up some self esteem.

There are days that DH and I rarely see each other but we have made a point lately of at least taking 10 mins to sit on the sofa and just cuddle up before he goes to work. It at least lets me feel that I have had some connection with him during the day.

LJM · 1 January 2007 at 10:53PM

yep just start by doing little things at a time its suprising how much of a routine you actually do without actually realizing it

amarillo_2004 · 1 January 2007 at 11:02PM

So: how can we help? Why don't you have a think about what your big problem is, or the thing that just most gets you down. Someone here will have dealt withthe exact same thing.

Your post mentions
- throwing away food
- meal planning (and ignoring your meal plan)
- illness
- no routine
- not driving

Would it help to start with one of these and put the others on hold for 3 months?

And you sound a bit lonely, a bit fed up, and as though you think everyone else is living the good life while you're missing out. Honey, that's so not true!

peony40 · 1 January 2007 at 11:23PM

Hi

I have only just started posting on this board, this is my second day, and I was feeling very much like you. I too, was buying food with all good intentions of eating healthy home cooked food, but in truth, due to being very disorganised and forgetful we were eating ready meals and I was throwing the 'good' food away. So I decided to join this friendly OS Board, and to take it step by step. My first priority was to sort out the food, so I have decided to menu plan, something I have never done in the 10 years of being married. So yesterday afternoon, I sat down with a couple of recipe books and marked out a few recipes that looked tasty and easy to cook. That is all I did. As I didn't want to feel overwhelmed, I decided to go slowly, so tomorrow I will write out the ingredients and see what I already have, and what I need to buy.

Alongside this, I decided to join in the Flylady thread, as it helps me to be focussed. Again, I go at the pace that suits me, I tend to do 30 minutes at a time and then have a break if I want one. I also mark down in my notebook what I have achieved and this helps my self esteem, plus it will help me set up a routine.

I hope that this helps.

PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING

Help me get sorted please

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