Hypno's "me, me, me, me, me," diary.....

Well, the time has come......over 4000 posts in my last diary, coinciding nicely with entry into a new decade - a decade that is to be MY decade......and so it seems appropriate to start the latest chapter in my debt free journey.

The thing is, though, I can think of nothing witty or interesting to say in my opening post, so you will have to be content with the most dullest of dull entries on a dull day in dullsville and provide the wit and wisdom yourselves :rolleyes:

The last 10 years have been a bit crappy, one way or another - in 1999 we discovered the house needed major structural work - the dominant cause of our debt and the beginning of 10 years of immense stress. It has also seen several bouts of serious illness for my daughter, who is now thankfully fit and well, and the death of my dad at the tender age of just 55, which devastated me, but which actually became the turning point in my life and the point at which we really started looking ahead and truly tackling our debts.....which in turn has brought its own delightful stresses and strains.

BUT.......we are getting there. From owing £100k+ at the worst, we now owe under £20k, and are on target to have this cleared in the coming year......:D

This has a cost, though, and that is the amount of stress we put ourselves under in order to make the payments that we do, whilst trying to ensure our children don't miss out on their big trips. OH works all the hours he can, in pretty lowly paid jobs, and I work full time (and then some) in a fab, but very very intense and stressful job. Although my salary is good, OH earns very little, so between us we are still only on an average income, meaning that we need to look further for the income we have needed. This has been by way of taking on extra jobs, cutting back, making the most of the loopholes we find on MSE, and having students stay with us for the last 5 years.

This stress is not good for our health, our mental wellbeing, or our family life.

2009 was the year we started to change things, as each credit card/loan has cleared, we have had that bit more room to breathe. We took the decision, for example not to have a student this year - meaning a loss of net income of £4000, but giving us our home back.

Personally, I need to hold on to my job - I will not find another one like it where we live, and in order to do it well I need to be fit - emotionally, physically, and mentally, and this is the area that I need to work on.

I am very good at allowing clutter into my life on every level - I am working on clearing that clutter, both in my head, and in my home/office/car etc to try and reduce the stress that is unnecessary, and giving me the additional energy (again, physical, emotional, and mental) to do my job to the best of my ability, in the most efficient way possible.

That in turn, will hopefully leave me with more energy to be a good wife and mother, and to create the home space that I so long for - ie a tidier house and a garden we can enjoy.

I am hoping that it will be a positive spiral I am embarking on, a spiral that will take me happily into the next decade, leaving the bleakness and unhappiness of the last 10 years behind.

My immediate priority is to focus on Me........a friend pointed out to me recently that I am the lynch pin of this whole outfit, and although no-one is indispensible in any situation, I do bear the burden of keeping things going/held together, including earning the lions share of the household income, yet I neglect to keep myself in good working order......ultimately that could result in the whole thing seizing up or falling apart, so the focus needs to shift.

So, I know that there are many who have said this before, and it is a theme that comes up on numerous threads on MSE, but I will be starting 2010 with the acceptance that I am important, and I can pay attention to myself in exactly the same way as I pay attention to other areas of my life.

So, I am hoping that this diary really does become all about me me me me me, but not in a self centred sort of way (if that makes sense!).....and that in turn, I can actually keep on top of this bloody housework, get some sleep in from time to time, and be debt free within the next few months.

Sorry it has been such a waffly load of drivel.......:o I'm relying on you lot to liven it up :rolleyes::rotfl: