Depression Support Thread

absolutebounder wrote: »

Dont worry I read between the lines with a lot of posters here. When I first came here I was criticised for being judgemental but that was because people misunderstood the difference between judgement and observation. I dont judge often but I observe a lot.
There are others who also give away a lot but In one or two cases If I made a summary of them it would probably come over as judgemental and more negative which I dont think would benefit people.
From a lot of views you are easily the most interesting person here. there are times when I could slap you but then you have talent and intelligence and even wit. I find it sad that with all those qualities you are languishing in a world where you are lost much of the time.

I admit, when we first "met" we had a lot of run ins.lol. but actually getting to know you better and seeing your posts and character within them, you're actually cool and interesting, and I don't think you're judgemental - just observant as you say.

You wouldn't be the only way who could slap me. :rotfl: I like to think that since I first started growing here, I have grown though. I remember my first post. I was somewhat feeble and shy. Now you can't get me to shut up here. :rotfl:

One day AB, I will have a full time job doing what I love, a loving husband, and children who I will cherish with my life and love to the ends of the earth. I am a determined person, and have proved a lot of people wrong over the years and defied the odds of survival as a baby and I'm still here. If I can overcome all the things I've been through so far, then I can overcome anything.lol.

If that sounds arrogant, it's not meant to.=/

xx

:hello:

LadyMorticia wrote: »

I admit, when we first "met" we had a lot of run ins.lol. but actually getting to know you better and seeing your posts and character within them, you're actually cool and interesting, and I don't think you're judgemental - just observant as you say.

You wouldn't be the only way who could slap me. :rotfl: I like to think that since I first started growing here, I have grown though. I remember my first post. I was somewhat feeble and shy. Now you can't get me to shut up here. :rotfl:

One day AB, I will have a full time job doing what I love, a loving husband, and children who I will cherish with my life and love to the ends of the earth. I am a determined person, and have proved a lot of people wrong over the years and defied the odds of survival as a baby and I'm still here. If I can overcome all the things I've been through so far, then I can overcome anything.lol.

If that sounds arrogant, it's not meant to.=/

xx

Hi LadyM:hello: Just want to say you do not sound at all arrogant,what you sound is positive which is lovely to see.When you are having a bad day look back at your post to remind yourself that you can be positive,i know because of your bi-polar your mood can change to the opposite end of the spectrum but maybe reading todays post will help.

((((hugs)))) Cybermum!

xx

Amber_Sunshine wrote: »

Okay, AB, analyse me. WHY do I cling to a man who barely wants to spend any time with me, who tells me he doesn't love me any more, who expects me to do all the changing but won't change himself?

I couldn't even get him to stay to dinner last night, and he HATES cooking. Didn't want to go to the cinema with me either. And yet a few weeks ago he was saying if we both sort ourselves out, maybe we can be together again. Is he as fcked up as I am?

Earlier yesterday I sold €100 of cosmetics to one of my fellow volunteers, and I was so chuffed, as it brings me closer to paying off the kit and then I can start earning. But I honestly can't see what the point of it all is if I have no-one to share my little successes with and snuggle up to when I get home. Plus my only close friend has moved out of town. I feel utterly isolated and can't wait for each day to end. I have lost the foundation that makes me able to get on with other things.

On Saturday, one of the volunteers asked me if I was ok. I said 'more or less', ad immediately she answered, 'no you're not ...'

The simple answer is Memories. The brain likes an easy life and so often goes for safety and so if there were good times withhim the brain remembers them and holds onto that false hope.
men are strange things though. We are programmed and designed to be hunter gatherer and protect the female but modern society has changed all that and like women many men dont like change. The self esteem of many men has been shot to bits and a man with low self esteem is not really that pleasant on the inside though he may look it from the outside. (see my previous writings on creating a mask) these men are users and takers. Your man may hate cookingbut he will have seen that to have dinner with you may involve more pain than going elsewhere or cooking himself.
Change happens all the time and successful people are ones who embrace it but dont change because one man says so change because you get better off.
Your man has probably pulled you down to his level and you must dump him to stop yourself going further down.
you need to break with the past, keep the memories but just memories. forget trying to save the world and help yourself for a change. go out in the evening to where there are people but avoid bars (full of sad people too) and just learn to say Hi (or whatever it is in spain) to people. Or join a sports or art club. Personally I would avoid dancing as men know what easy pick up joints dance classes are.
Sell your goods because you know they can help someone else plus profit helps you afford to meet new people. Go to places where the sort of people you want to meet hang out. (you may need money for this)
The last thing is dont try to put a mask on that portrays how you think other people would like to se you. be honest with yourself and be yourself. That way you meet the friends most in tune with you and so will be long term friends. No lying about how you feel either.

LadyMorticia wrote: »

Um..I have Borderline Personality Disorder. They should change the name really, because it's shortened to BPD and people think it means bi-polar.lol.

People who are Borderline do experience erratic mood swings though - mostly in the same day and often have black and white moods and black and white thinking, so they are either happy and everything is wonderful, or depressed and sucicial and everything is so horrible. That's how it is for me anyway. I'm trying to get better. =D

xx

Something you should know about BPD that I bet no one has told you. BPD is a name thought up by psychologists that describes a particular behaviour. like all mental health problems it carries a stigma. But it is misplaced.
Humans are not random in thought we are highly logical and all our actions are logical. yes your actions are just as logical as mine or anyone elses. Even a complete fruitcakes actions are logical as long as you look at things from the reality they are seeing.
Your reality of the world is different to the average (note I didnt say norm) and psychologists work with averages so any deviance from average gets labelled something but this makes the person think they are ill or a looney. Not so. Geniuses are often bi polar. Wonderful at one thing with no common sense whatsoever.
Bi polar, BPD whatever. They are just names that society gives to people who think differently from others.
Use it to your advantage!!! Dont let it be a put down