Wills and step families.

mrs_miser · 4 January 2009 at 9:37PM

my dad died leaving everything to my step mum(i was 32) at the time just glad she was taken care of as she looked after my dad when he was terminally ill, though they had only been together two years.
The will was never discussed with me and bro, didnt feel i had any right to my dads money, tbh.
anyway after he died step mum said when she died all money would be split 4 ways me and my bro and her two kids by former marriage.
to cut a long story short, she has remarried quickly, moved on and we are no longer in contact. dont suppose i will hear any thing again.
never saw the will so dont know the exact wording

aliasojo · 4 January 2009 at 9:58PM

pavlovs_dog wrote: »

does your OH have a will? how has he dealt with the stepchildren issue?

Hope you realise this is your fault. You and your damn 1001 idea!

*insert pull big face but smiling at the same time smilie*

Anyway, no OH hasn't made a will either. We both meant to sort it out when we bought the house but let it slide. It's been bothering me for a while and it's now firmly on my list of things to attend to.

aliasojo · 4 January 2009 at 10:01PM

Thank you all for your replies and to localhero for the more specific advice.

I will give the subject more thought over the next week or so and also make an appointment with a solicitor to talk over the issues.

poet123 · 4 January 2009 at 10:04PM

There are speciliast solicitors who deal exclusively with this. A point you may wish to ponder is that if your child with disabilities is left a substantial amount this will affect any benefit payment. It is possible that the monies are held in truat and adminstered as and when needed and thus do not affect enttitlment,but that means you need a trusted family member to adminster the trust, or a solicitor(thus incurring ongoing costs).

pavlovs_dog · 4 January 2009 at 10:13PM

aliasojo wrote: »

Hope you realise this is your fault. You and your damn 1001 idea!

moi? :A

glad to be of service

Mojisola · 4 January 2009 at 11:32PM

MrsE wrote: »

That could happen to any family If the man or woman met someone else.

Yes, you're right. Typing before thinking - doesn't work!

alm721 · 5 January 2009 at 12:08AM

My family is in a bit of a similar situation. My mum and stepdad have been trying to sort their wills. I have 2 brothers (one of who is severley disabled and will need constant care) I also have 2 step siblings , there were no more children born after mum and step dad got together so that complicates things slightly less.
Basically neither want to leave their money soley to the other spouse as you just dont dont know what may happen. My grandad was an only child and would have inherited quite a large sum of money from his father only his dad remarried and left everything to his wife who then shortly afterwards left everything to her 2 children from a previous marrige. The wer'nt even my great grandads kids! And my grandad didnt get anything at all not even his mothers jewellery etc it all went to his stepmothers children.
So this has obviously made my mum and stepdad cautious. They have been dicussing this for around a year and still are not 100% happy but its not an easy thing to do and I think all the advice about contacting a solicitor is well worth it in this case as its not going to be straightforward.
I think my mum and dad have gone along the lines of putting all their property in tennants in common and then basically leaving their half to their own kids with a life interest in the main house for the surviving spouse. They have set up a disrectionary trust for my yonger brothers share with myself and my other brother as trustees. The purpose of this is to prevent it all going towards social services care etc. Hope this helps a bit but do go and get professional advice.

Edinburghlass_2 · 5 January 2009 at 12:22AM

You both need wills, as it stands as you aren't married then you aren't next of kin to each other, just something else to throw in the melting pot.

webitha · 5 January 2009 at 10:27AM

TFD wrote: »

My dad is a nasty piece of work and his will leaves everything (probably £1M all in) to his partner, which will then in turn be left to her daughter.

This means nothing gets left to his 3 kids or his little grandson! Nice guy eh?

This is a good example of how not to make a will if you ask me...

sorry but inheritance is not a right and as its his money he can leave it to whomever he wants to, it annoys me when people says its my inheritance, not its not, its that persons own money until they die and they can dispose of it as they see fit, just because your related in some way to the person, does not give you automatic right to their chattels when they go

margaretclare · 5 January 2009 at 10:39AM

webitha wrote: »

sorry but inheritance is not a right and as its his money he can leave it to whomever he wants to, it annoys me when people says its my inheritance, no it's not, it's that persons own money until they die and they can dispose of it as they see fit, just because you're related in some way to the person, does not give you automatic right to their chattels when they go

I completely agree with you, and I too get extremely annoyed by all the talk of 'my inheritance' and the assumption that someone else's money is automatically 'yours'. Were it within my power, I would make sure that every last penny-piece I possess was spent the day before I depart this mortal coil, leaving only enough for my funeral.

In our case, we're an older couple. DH has a son and a daughter, I have one surviving daughter. All of that generation are doing well in their own right and need nothing from us. So what we have arranged is to have 'back-to-back' wills leaving everything to each other but with the proviso that 'should he/she not survive me by 28 days' then everything we own is to be turned into money and split equally between 5 grandchildren, 3 of mine and 2 of his. But we do intend to have full use of all our 'hard-earned assets' (another phrase that annoys me) in our lifetimes, the widowed survivor must have his/her needs met first, and this property is in joint names - deliberately, that's the way we want it, although localhero and others would advise not.

Wills and step families.

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