The Great Hunt: Top money tips for newlyweds

Former_MSE_Rebecca · 2 September 2014 at 6:22PM

Wedding season is nearly over and we want your top money tips for those who've just tied the knot. Whether you've been married for decades, or you're just a few years down the line, share your financial gems for a financially happy marriage.

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jackyann · 2 September 2014 at 6:51PM

1. allow each of you a certain amount of money to spend as you like - no questions asked. Even if it's just £2 a week!

2. Even if you keep a personal account, make sure that all of the household bills & major purchases are made from the joint account. real problems seem to arise if "J always pays the electric" and J's pay goes down as the leccy goes up!
3. If you run into problems, go to the tried & tested method of writing it all down for a month!

jackbremer · 3 September 2014 at 12:04AM

print cost-effective thank you cards after the honeymoon - lots of deals for that on here; you can always do free prints and glue them on inexpensive card blanks from eBay
make certified copies of your marriage certificate, it's amazing how often you need to send one to someone.
if changing your name, do it across the board including utility bills - nothing worse than trying to demonstrate proof of address and the account you're applying for has a different name to that of your bills. While you're at it, if they're in the name of one of you not both, either add the second as being named in the postal address (great for proof of address for either of you again) or at least add as a contact on the account. While sorting utility bills get their phone app and set that up for quick meter readings. Passports can have a note added with maiden name too: https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/118562/observations-passports.pdf
Learn to use Google Spreadsheets as collaborative finance trackers - combine with IFTTT.com to automate this so you can simply email an amount and description, and have it appended to the spreadsheet automatically without even logging in
write wills - one each. Consider what happens if you both die at the same time (ouch). Lots of resources for this on this site, so easy if just the two of you, even more important if you have kids, property or own business (and even more important if in business partnership with someone other than your spouse - upon death the business partner suddenly finds themselves reluctantly in business with their partner's spouse!)
inform suppliers of services like insurance - they need to know any change of circumstance anyway plus you're more responsible now, right? Ask for that discount!
seek out appropriate tax savings and/or benefits potential - even more available if you have kids (although NOT reason enough to breed!), most require very low income, but the tax is especially important if own business and one spouse is not working - speak to an accountant in that case.
agree on who is responsible for settling bills (actually making the payment) and doing financial audits (price checking, comparisons on insurance etc every so often)
you've probably done the wedding ring thing and the engagement ring thing. Don't be fooled into thinking jewellery is an investment - it's not, especially at the low end - just like art, when's the last time you sold a painting? When's the last time you sold some jewellery for more than you paid for it? Doesn't happen. Buy subscriptions to Good Housekeeping each year as a birthday present and be done with it.
if thinking about breeding, do it for the right reasons, when you're ready, and plan for the expense and change of requirements (bigger home, more time off work to care for the litter etc). Set clear expectations between you both about how the responsibility will be divvied up.
See if putting car insurance in other person's name reduces the cost
Share your Amazon Prime account with your family - I don't mean the login, you can actually add people in your family to the account for the free next day delivery (not the Instant Video, that requires main account holder login). This is important if you ever want to receive a present other than a subscription to Good Housekeeping for Christmas (as a shared login means you can both see what each other bought!).
Do NOT share a Facebook account - not one of your friends thinks it's cute, clever or efficient that you log in as Jim Jemima Smith
do not get divorced or do anything to increase its likelihood of happening. You made a promise, doesn't that count for something? Divorce is expensive and you'll be living like a student again for a while.
Keep a regular date night, agree that coupons are allowed
Agree that you're both allowed to see old friends whether together or separately - and that your expenditure during those reunions is acceptable.
discuss acceptable prices for things so you don't fall out when one of you spends £300 on a hair cut, wants a £60,000 car lease, books a £30,000 holiday or a £500 pair of shoes - if that's your level then bully for you, as long as the other person's happy with that - any money you spend is money you've worked to earn, you now need to work again to get the money back - that sucks if you decide to make a big and important purchase later in life such as house, further education, property renovations etc and you are short of funds because it was wasted early on - disagreements between spouses on financial matters can escalate quickly.

luxor4t · 3 September 2014 at 9:02AM

Make your own celebration traditions - decide together how you as a couple will 'do' Christmas/Diwali/Eid etc.
(Sister and her husband had huge rows their first Christmas Eve ..... over what time to eat on Christmas Day. One family ate midday the other ate at night. Sis & BiL were both holding on for the 'right' way to do it.)

A.Jones · 3 September 2014 at 9:45AM

There is no "wedding season".

Marriages in spring, autumn and winter are just as acceptable as ones in summer. And often cheaper.

jgriggle · 3 September 2014 at 10:17AM

My wife and I don't have 'my money' and 'her money'. It's just 'our money'. It doesn't matter who earns what. Luckily neither of us has expensive tastes, and are not bothered about designer clothes/gadgets etc.

Agree an amount each per month as 'pocket money' which can be spent on absolutely anything, no questions asked. The amount should, of course, be the same for both.

Anyone reading that thinking 'but that's not fair, I earn twice as much as him' probably shouldn't be getting married...

nightsky224 · 3 September 2014 at 11:43AM

Be honest about money. Its scary how many people get in to debt without their other half knowing.
We know what each other earns, how much spare cash we have and if one of us has a bad month we are honest about it and we sort it out together.
When we first got together my OH was really bad with money, overspending and in lots of debt. I on the other hand knew where every penny went and worried a lot about money. We have now managed to meet in the middle careful with money, secure with our finances but able to treat ourselves too and not worry about things so much.

onesixfive · 3 September 2014 at 11:58AM

Pool the money - firstly, pay all the bills & housekeeping - then, save a bit, and finally whatever's left is for spending - some weeks one partner spends more of that "leftover pool", some weeks the other will - any leftovers treat each other :-)

thebigbosh · 3 September 2014 at 12:43PM

question for those that do pool their money - do you have individual savings accounts/ISAs/pensions? If yes, how do you allocate back out again to those?

74jax · 3 September 2014 at 12:56PM

We love spoiling each other, we'd never pool all our money - I'd totally see how much he'd spent on things and I really don't want to know. When I booked for Rome and he didn't know, he would have had an idea just from who payments were too, I'd hate that.

We have one account for bills, but that's it. So I would say discuss with each other and decide from there.

baobabsammy · 3 September 2014 at 1:22PM

I used to earn about double what the husband earned, but now I'm on maternity leave it's a role reversal. We have a joint account and all money is pooled and bills come out of that.

We each have a 'frivolous fund' per month. This is money to be spent on things the other person would be considered trivial and perhaps a waste of money. The other person has no right to comment! It doesn't include bills, holidays, clothes that are needed (unless expensive), haircuts etc. We both have the same amount. He tends to buy packs of playing cards (his collection/hobby) and takeaways. In the past he's bought a pool table. I go out with my friends to eat more, and girlie trips away. We each keep a separate track of it, and trust each other.

We find this works well. We went on a marriage preparation course, and this was useful for pre-marriage discussion about roles and responsibilities. So I have responsibility for all bills, insurance, keeping track of finances etc. I actually enjoy it! (Whereas he's auto-renew insurance and never price compare as he couldn't be bothered). He does the cooking (mostly), overall cat responsibility (e.g. taking them to vet), DIY, mowing the lawn.

So, overall advice:
1. Talk about money/roles/responsibilities!
2. Have a frivolous fund
3. Make time for date night, and take turns at organising it. Even it's just a 2 for 1 meal at Pizza Express. Continue this even when you have children.

The Great Hunt: Top money tips for newlyweds

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